Always there
by rororogers
Summary: The pony Express has ended. Their family was breaking apart. But He's always been there for her. He'll always be there for her, but can he help heal her broken heart?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: What's this? A new story? How long has it been? 3 years? 4? I don't know but I'm back. Life has been rough, it has sucked in fact. My muse has been gone for so long. It's hard to write the kinda stories I do when my own life is falling apart. But I'm doing better now, working on myself. Getting my head right after all the crap I've been through. I finally feel like writing again. I finally have my muse again. Still it's hard to write the kinda stories I do, when I have never had a love like the ones in my story. But I'm a hopeless romantic and still believe that this kinda of Love exists. maybe one day I'll find out for sure. Until then I hope everybody enjoys the start of this one. Not sure how long it's going to be or how often I will update, but I'm hoping it will be pretty regular. Shot me a review to let me know what you think!**_

_**Prologue**_

Kid and Lou stood in front of the small group that had become family. It was smaller than it had been a few months ago, there had been too many loses already, first Ike and then Noah. Lou didn't want to lose anymore of them.

"So that's the gist of it, whatda think? Lou asked the small group.

"Let me see if I got this right..." Teaspoon started, "You two want us to buy a ranch with ya, all of us?"

"Of course!" Lou exclaimed excited "Y'all are family, we can't do this alone."

"Lou, I would love to, I really would but … I signed on with the army as a scout just this morning. I'm sorry but I leave out in two days." Cody said sadly.

Buck grimaced at the thought of Cody being a scout for the army knowing what the army does to his people, but he knew Cody wasn't thinking about that, he was thinking he wanted to help people like Noah. He looked over at Jimmy who was staying awfully quite, then at Teaspoon and Rachel. Teaspoon was scratching his jaw. Buck looked back to where Kid and Lou stood. Lou looked excited but disappointed at the same time because of Cody. Kid looked, well Kid didn't look happy at all. Something was wrong with Kid.

"Well now, I reckon I could go along with that if Rachel wants to." Teaspoon finally responded looking over at the busty woman.

"You should know the answer to that Teaspoon." Rachel grinned going over to hug Lou.

Lou hugged the older woman tightly before looking over at Jimmy, "Jimmy?"

"I'm sorry but I can't. I'm leaving Rock Creek. I don't rightly know if I'm going come back anytime soon." Jimmy stated, his face expressionless.

"What why on earth are you leaving?" Rachel cried looking over at the sullen rider.

"There's just some things I've got to take care of Rachel." Jimmy said not looking at her.

"it's that woman ain't it?" Teaspoon asked, "Dammit Jimmy ain't I told you to think with your head, the one on your shoulders!"

"It's MY LIFE!" Jimmy shouted.

"THAT WOMAN GOT NOAH KILLED!" Cody yelled standing up and getting in Jimmy's face.

"Noah got his own self killed." Jimmy said, "Now you might want to get out of my face Cody."

Cody went to turn but stopped and deck Jimmy instead, catching Jimmy by surprise and knocking him down. "It should have been you instead." Cody seethed before storming out of the bunkhouse.

"Cody!" Teaspoon hollered after him.

Buck closed his eyes and hung his head as another brother left him behind. He looked back up when Jimmy muttered something about being sorry before stuffing his hat on his head and leaving as well. Something told Buck he would never see either of them again. He really hoped that was not true.

"Well this isn't exactly going how I hoped it would." Lou said quietly.

Kid still had not said anything the whole time. He didn't think he could. While he had liked Lou's idea he was having second thoughts. His loyalty was pulling him in two separate directions. His loyalty to Lou and the other riders, told him this was where he belong, this was the life he wanted. But his loyalty to his home, to Virginia was telling him he had to leave, he had to go fight for her, to fight for the land. So he kept quiet.

Lou sighed, "well what about you Buck? Are you leaving us too?"

Buck felt all eyes on him as Lou asked that question. What was he going to do? He had no where else to go. He didn't belong anywhere. He didn't belong in the white world but he didn't belong with the Kiowa. In fact the only place he ever felt like he belonged was right here with these people … his family. Buck looked up and met the eyes of the petite rider, her eyes so sad but so hopefully. He gave her his signature lopsided smirk. "Lou you know I'm not going anywhere, my home is here with the rest of y'all. I'm in."

Lou squealed happily rushing over to hug the Kiowa rider and then Teaspoon. Buck stood and walked over to Kid holding out his hand to shake. "Partners?"

Kid looked at the hand offered to him and took it reluctantly, "Partners".

Buck wrinkled his forehead at Kid's behavior, something was defiantly not right with Kid. He only hoped that whatever was bothering him, he'd at least talk to Lou about it before it ate him alive.

_**Chapter 1**_

_Three Months Later_

Lou sat on the porch of her new home, a home that had been hers for only a few months. She stared out at the land that now belong to her. Well not just her, her whole family. This had been her dream, but that dream was crashing and burning before her eyes. She sat there for who knows how long, minutes? Hours? Days? She sat there unmoving, unblinking. Catatonic. How could he do this? Why now? Why? Tears silently rolled down Lou's cheeks, but she made no move to wipe them. She made no indication that she even knew they were there. She made no indication that she even knew anybody was there.

Buck paced back and forth in the parlor. His stride angry. His arms wrapping around himself, only to drop them, balling his fist like he wanted to punch something, to wrap around himself again. Over and over. How could he do this? Why now? Why? Buck was angry, angrier than he had ever been. He should have known. He did know something but not this. But he should have known. He paced and paced, not stopping.

Rachel sat on the sofa, weeping softly. Her eyes going to the window where she could see Lou sitting so still then back to Buck who paced like a tiger sizing up its prey, over to Teaspoon who just sat with his head in his hands. How could he do this? Why now? Why?

Teaspoon sat with his head in hands. His heart in his throat. It was breaking in two. His family was breaking. His sweet girl, she was so lost. His boy, torn between two worlds was so angry. How could he do this? Why Now? Why? Teaspoon didn't know the answer to those questions anymore than the rest of them did. He didn't know how he was going to help fix his family. Should he try and go after the Kid? Teaspoon looked over at the letter that had been left and quickly forgot that idea. Kid had made it clear that he had made up his mind. But why couldn't have done it sooner. Why go through with the purchase of the ranch? Hell why even go through with the wedding at all if he had felt so torn all this time? Teaspoon sighed and looked back up at Buck who quite literally growled before punching the wall. Teaspoon could only assume Buck was picturing Kid's face in that spot.

"That ain't gonna help Buck." Teaspoon muttered.

Buck sighed in frustration rubbing the knuckles on the hand he had just used to punch the wall with. "What the hell are we supposed to do!? He just left...in the middle of the damn night without even a proper goodbye. Just a damn note! How could he do that to her!? He's supposed to love and cherish her but he just walks away like it's nothing! Look at her Teaspoon!" Buck shouted throwing his arm out towards the window where they could see Lou, still unmoving, unblinking, catatonic. "How do we fix this?" Buck whispered brokenly the anger rushing out of his as his shoulders sagged and he dropped into the nearest chair hanging his head as tears rolled down his cheeks. "How do we fix her?"

Rachel got up and moved to Buck, her arms going around his shoulders as he buried his head against her should and cried. "We be there for her Buck. We show her that we are still here, that we stayed and will continue to stay. That we ain't gonna leave her. We show her that we love her in anyway we can."

Teaspoon looked out the window at the broken woman, then at the broken man in front of him. He scratched his whiskered chin, a thought forming in his brain. Huh, that's mighty interesting, I'll have to think on that some more, he thought to himself. "Well now I reckon, Lou is gonna be needing her family. I think it's time we go and get them younguns."

Buck's head popped up, his eyes shinning with the tears but a resolve look on his face. "Yes, Lou had said she wanted to go get them not long ago but ...he wanted to wait." Buck said, not able to bring himself to say Kid's name.

"Then that's what we do, we go and get her siblings." Rachel agreed.

"I'll go. I'll go right now, as soon as I hitch the buckboard." Buck said standing up determined to do what he could to help Lou get through this. At Teaspoon's nod, Buck left the room to get his things and to hitch up the buckboard while Rachel went to pack him so food for the journey.

Teaspoon went out to sit with Lou, who still had not moved. He waited with her while Buck got ready to leave. He waited with her when Buck came up on the porch to say goodbye.

Buck got down on his knees in front of the small broken woman, one hand on her knee, the other grasping her hand, begging her to look at him. She didn't. "Lou," Buck whispered, "I'm going on a short trip, I won't be gone long. I promise, I will be back soon and I'll have a surprise for you. Please look at me Lou, please?"

Lou still didn't move, didn't blink. Buck squeezed her hand briefly before standing and pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. "I wont be gone long I promise." Buck said one last time before rushing off the porch to the waiting buckboard. He hoped this would help.

Teaspoon watched Buck as he drove away. He scratched his whiskered chin. He looked back at Lou who still had not moved. He sighed before standing and going back into the parlor. The letter from Kid sitting where Lou had dropped it. He picked it up and walked over to the fireplace where a small fire was going to keep the chill of early winter at bay. He didn't want to read it again but he couldn't help it.

_Lou,_

_I'm sorry. I should have told you this months ago but I couldn't. I was torn between my loyalty and duty to you and my loyalty and duty to my home. I felt I needed to stay with you, to marry you, that that was where I was supposed to be. But my heart kept telling me otherwise. I'm sorry but I have to leave, I have to go and fight for my home. I can't ask you to come with me, your place is here. You don't belong where I'm going. I should never have married you, not with knowing that I wanted to go back to Virginia. I'm releasing you from our marriage. You are free. I hope you forgive me one day, though I suspect that won't happen. I won't be coming back, either I die fighting or I live. Either way my life in Rock Creek is over. Our marriage is over. Don't come after me._

_I'm sorry,_

_Kid_

Teaspoon balled up the letter and threw it in the fire. He turned to walk away when his eye caught the gleam of gold on the floor. Teaspoon bent down and picked up the wedding band that he recognized as the Kid's. He curled his fist around it, the desire to throw it in the fire strong. He sighed as he put it on the mantel instead before once again returning to the porch to sit with Lou. His poor broken girl.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Buck had been gone for days, it had taken him longer to get to the orphanage than he had hoped. The buckboard slowing him down painfully. If he had just been able to ride his horse he had been there in half the time. But if he thought the journey there had been long, he was not prepared for what had happened since arriving at the orphanage.

He had arrived at midday, bone tired and filthy. He wanted a hot meal and a bath, but he didn't dare waste time. He had to get back to Lou. Entering the dark building he was escorted to the mother superior's office. He waited for what felt like hours before the old nun came in.

"Sorry to keep you waiting young man, there was a problem in the kitchens. I'm Mother Agatha. Now who are you and what is it I can do for you?" The older woman asked sizing him up.

"Buck Cross ma'am. I'm a friend of Louise McCloud, and I've come to fetch her siblings." Buck explained politely.

"I see and why should I believe you? Do you have proof of what you say is true? That Louise sent you?", she asked doubt clearly in her eyes.

"No … I don't have anything with me. Ma'am I promise you I am who I say I am. Louise needs her siblings, she was not in the state to come herself." Buck explained, panic starting to set in.

"Is Louise ill? If what you say is true, how can I be sure that she can even care for them.", the old nun asked as she leaned forward, her elbows on her desk, fingers steepled together.

"No she's not sick … not physically at least, more heartsick. She has suffered some pretty bad loses this past year. We all have. This last one … She needs her family Mother, please. Jeremiah and Theresa have met me before. I'm sure they would remember me." Buck began to beg.

"Mr. Cross, I'm sorry it's not that I don't believe you. I do, I even remember you. But I have to do what is in the best interest of the children. What guarantee is there that Louise can even look after them. Didn't the express go under?" She asked.

"Yes, Mother, it did. But Louise, myself, along with our station master and station mother, have bought a ranch. We have the means to care for the children. Lou isn't going to do it alone. We will all help her." Buck stated, his brain going overtime on how he could bring the kids home if this old nun didn't give them to him.

"So, I take it you are married to Louise?" Mother Agatha asked raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"No, I'm afraid not. She married another one of the riders about three months ago, only for him to abandon her just a few days ago to go fight for the south in the war that's brewing. That's why I need to bring her siblings home. She needs her family." Buck explained, his pain evident on his face.

"But you do love, her don't you? Even though she's not yours to love." the older nun said, her face softening as she looked at the young man in front of her.

"I …", Buck started but stopped, his mouth snapping shut. Did he love her? Yes he cared for her, she was his family, he loved her like a sister. didn't he? Or was it something more? Was that why he had been so angry at Kid for breaking her heart? Knowing that he would never have done that to her if she was his. Was he in love with Lou? "Yes, I do and I am never going to leave her. Even if she is never mine, I'm always going to be there for her and her family."

Mother Agatha smiled, "Yes I do believe you are telling me the truth. Very well Mr. Cross the children shall leave with you in the morning. You shall stay here tonight and eat with us."

"In the morning? I've already been gone too long." Buck asked, not liking being delayed even more.

"Yes in the morning, it's too late to be leaving tonight. I'll have one of the sisters show you to your room where you can get cleaned up before supper. Then I shall go and have Jeremiah and Theresa pack their things." Mother Agatha stated, finality in her tone as she rang a bell on her desk for one of the sisters.

Buck stood and followed the young woman who had come into the room. He was shown to a small sparsely furnished room. A small bed and table with a pitcher and wash basin, the only thing in it. He thanked the nun and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the wash basin and quickly cleaned up the best he could before supper. A light knock sounded on his door a short time later, he opened it to reveal the same sister from earlier.

"I've been sent to fetch you to the dining hall." she said quietly before turning and walking away.

Buck, quickly followed, the sound of children soon reached him as they neared what he assumed was the dining area. He entered the large room surprised by the number of children there. The mission orphanage did not look big enough for all these children. Buck scanned the room for the two he had come for, would he recognize them, he had only seen them once before?

Mother Agatha stood on the other side of the room, she raised her hand when she saw him enter, beckoning him over. "Mr. Cross, I'm so glad you could join us. I was just telling Jeremiah and Theresa why you were here."

"Are you really bringing us to Louise?" Theresa asked her eyes hopeful.

"I am, we are to leave at first light. Will you two be ready?" Buck asked with a smile.

Theresa beamed at him, "I'm ready now!"

Buck couldn't help the grin that stretched across his face, she reminded him of Lou. "What about you Jeremiah?"

Jeremiah looked at Buck and frowned, "Why didn't Louise come herself? Does she even want us?"

"She's, well she isn't feeling like herself right now, but she so wants you two home with her, that's why I've come for you, because she couldn't." Buck explained to the sullen looking boy.

"Alright, I guess." Jeremiah relented, as he clearly thought over Buck's words. "We going to be working for the Express too?"

Buck laughed a little sadly, "No, nobody works for the Express anymore. There is no more Pony Express."

"Then what are we going to do? How is Louise going to take care of us without a job?" Jeremiah asked worried, he looked older than his years.

"We have a ranch. Lou, myself, Teaspoon, and Rachel. It's a lot of work for just me and your sister and an old man. You both will have to help around the ranch, nothing too much. I'm not bringing you home for you to be ranch hands. But we will all have to work together understand?" Buck explained quickly before Mother Agatha could think they were only getting the children for manual labor.

"Can I feed the horses?" Theresa asked quickly, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

"I think we can arrange that. What about you Jeremiah you want to help with the horses?" Buck asked.

"Yeah … could I maybe ride one? I don't know how but I could learn." Jeremiah asked quietly.

"Sure, I could teach you or your sister could if you'd rather." He answered with a fond smile at the boy. They both reminded him so much of Lou.

Jeremiah grinned at Buck, before digging into the stew that had grown cold. "Well I better finish eating so I can go pack." he said in between large mouthfuls.

Buck chuckled but couldn't help but agree. The sooner they finished the sooner they could pack and the sooner they could leave in the morning. As soon as dinner was over the two siblings bounded off with a shout of see ya in the morning to go pack their meager belongings. Buck returned to his room to try and sleep. Not that he would be able to, he had not slept for more than a few hours since he left Lou. He was worried about her. Was she eating? Had she moved? Had she even realized he was gone? Would she ever be Lou again? Would she ever be the strong, brave, daring woman he loved again? When had, he fallen in love with her? Why had he not realized it before now? Would it have made a difference? If he had realized it before now, if he had realized it before her and Kid had gotten back together, if he had told her, would she have picked him? Could he have saved her from the heartache she was going through now if he had only realized it sooner? Buck didn't know, but it was making his head hurt thinking of all the what ifs. Only time would tell if Lou would ever be Lou again. And all that mattered was he would be there for her always, no matter what the road ahead held.

**A/N: Thanks so much for the kind reviews to the first chapter. I remember why I love writing for this fandom so much, everybody is so encouraging. Big thanks to Shauna for being my beta. Hope everybody enjoyed this chapter. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

It had been two weeks since Kid had left her, two weeks of her not really functioning. Two weeks of just sitting and staring out at the ranch that had been her dream. Two weeks of just going over everything that Kid had ever said to her, everything that he had ever done. She had hesitated marrying him, she wasn't sure she was ready, but he had seemed so sure of them, so she had said yes. Why had he even asked her if the whole time he was questioning where his own loyalties truly lied. Lou was done just sitting and moping, she was done being useless. She was pissed.

Lou woke up that morning angrier than she had ever been, she was furious at Kid for leaving her. She was furious at him for even marrying her if this was his plan all along. She was furious at herself for being so weak that she had been catatonic for two weeks. She was furious about everything. Lou dressed quickly and went down stairs to the kitchen where Rachel was already working on breakfast. "Mornin' Rachel", Lou said softly.

Rachel yelped in surprised turning quickly with her hand over her heart, "Lord o' mercy, you scared the livin' daylights out of me Lou!"

"Sorry… didn't mean to scare ya." Lou mumbled ashamed of how she had been acting the past two weeks. She was sure that Rachel hadn't expected her up so early or to even say anything.

"Oh, Lou, it's alright. You just surprised me is all… well I'm so glad you are up and around," Rachel said coming over to embrace the young woman, tears in her eyes. She hoped this was a good sign that Lou was coming back to them.

"Have you seen Buck yet this morning? I need his help with something?" Lou asked looking out the window to the barn seeing if she could spy the Kiowa.

"Buck? No, Lou don't you remember he left?" Rachel asked concern on her face.

"Buck left?! Of course he left, why am I surprised, everybody leaves don't they? Why would he stay? Why are you even hear Rachel, I know you probably want to leave to!" Lou shouted, tears spilling out of her eyes before turning and rushing from the house.

"Lou!" Rachel called after her but Lou didn't stop. "Oh dear." Rachel muttered when Lou rushed out of the barn a few seconds later, riding Lightning bareback.

"What is the commotion in here?" Teaspoon asked a few minutes later upon entering the kitchen.

"I think I done went and put my foot in my mouth. Lou was asking for Buck and I told her he left remember. She got upset, I think she thought he left for good, then she ran out and just rode out of the yard on lightning, he didn't have a saddle on." Rachel explained crying, she was so upset and worried about the girl.

"It'll be alright Rach, I'll go after her and sort things out." Teaspoon said squeezing her shoulder.

A few moments later Teaspoon had saddled Marshall and was headed out after Lou. Teaspoon may not be the tracker Buck was but he still was pretty good at it. He had picked up on her trail quickly, he followed it for about twenty minutes before he came upon Lou's horse grazing on a hill top near the creek. Teaspoon looked around and spotted the young girl sitting on a large rock, her knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped around them with her head buried in her folded arms. He knew she was crying by how her shoulders were shaking. Teaspoon dismounted and made his way over to the girl, he sat on the rock next to her and put his arm around her shoulders just letting her cry for a few minutes more.

"Ya wanna tell me what this is all about?" Teaspoon asked when Lou had stopped crying and had lifted her head to look at him, her face streaked with tears.

"Everybody keeps leaving me…I'm just waiting for you and Rachel to do the same." Lou whimpered.

"Now Lou, you know we ain't goin' nowhere and everybody hasn't left you." Teaspoon said as he hugged her closer to him.

"Ike left … Noah left… Cody and Jimmy left … Kid left … and now Buck left." Lou cried in-between hiccups.

"Well Lou, you know Ike and Noah didn't choose to leave and Buck is going be back soon. He told you he'd be back as soon as he could remember?" Teaspoon asked concerned, did Lou really have no memory of Buck leaving?

"I don't remember … I don't remember him leaving. Where did he go? Why did he have to leave?" Lou sniffled.

"He had to go take care of something, but he'll be back soon, maybe in another week. He was bringing you back a surprise." Teaspoon said with a grin. He wanted Buck to be the one to surprise her with her siblings.

"But I don't understand… why would he leave right now? Now of all times when I really need him here? Lou asked wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

"Lou, honey, Buck thought it was the best thing for him to do at the time. He was so worried about you, he felt he couldn't wait, that what he was doing was too important for you." Teaspoon explained trying to be vague as possible.

"He ain't going after Kid is he cause he can leave that boy to rot!" Lou stated, anger flashing in her eyes.

"Naw… Buck definitely ain't gonna after Kid. Although I'm sure he wouldn't have minded tracking him down and beating the tar outta him." Teaspoon chuckled.

"You ain't gonna tell me where he is goin' are ya Teaspoon?" Lou asked, her tears finally drying up.

"Nope… don't wanna ruin the surprise," he grinned, "Just know that you'll like it and Buck will be back soon."

Teaspoon stood up, brushing dust from the back of his pants and offered his hand to Lou, "Come on let's get back to the house, Rachel should have breakfast ready by now."

Lou took Teaspoon's offered hand and went and fetched her horse. The two rode back in silence. Teaspoon thinking about Lou's reaction to having thought Buck had left her for good. Lou thinking about what Buck could possibly have left to do. What surprise was he bringing her back?

**A/N: Thanks to Shauna for the quick beta. Hope everybody is enjoying this story so far, I really appreciate all the lovely reviews and support. I truly have missed writing, especially for this fandom. Y'all are the absolute best!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Three weeks, that's how long he had been gone. He was worried that Lou would be worse. He was worried he'd been gone too long. He didn't know what awaited him at the ranch. He would find out soon enough. Buck figured they would be getting home by midday and he had been mentally preparing himself for what he would find since he woke this morning.

"How much longer Buck? My bottom hurts." Theresa whined from her spot in the bed of the buckboard.

"Quit ya belly achin', Buck said we'll be there by lunchtime. It ain't lunchtime yet now is it?" Jeremiah grumbled back at her, he had taken to riding next to Buck on the seat. Sometimes Buck had even let him drive.

"Well how much longer till lunch then?" Theresa asked, her tummy rumbling.

"A few more hours. There should be some jerky left in my satchel if you're hungry." Buck responded not taking his eyes off the horizon.

Theresa began rummaging thru Buck's bag looking for the precious snack. Instead she found a piece of paper. She pulled it out and opened it, "What's this?" She asked holding the paper in front of Buck's face.

"Dang it Theresa!" Jeremiah hollered at the girl. "You can't block Buck's view like that!"

"It's alright Jeremiah, there ain't nothing out here that a small distraction can harm. Here take the reins for a bit." Buck said passing them over to the young boy who grinned happily with the task.

Buck reached for the paper that Theresa had stuck in front of his face and studied it, a sad smile on his face. "This is our family… before everything changed. Ike, my best friend and brother, he drew this the night of the last dance we went to. He was killed not long after protecting the woman he loved. This one," Buck said pointing to the picture, "Is Noah, he died protecting a woman. You know your sister of course. That's me behind her. That one there is Jimmy, and that one is Cody." Buck explained before passing the picture back to the girl.

"Who is this one?" She asked pointing to Kid.

Buck could feel the anger rising in him, "That is the bastard that broke your sisters heart."

Theresa looked at the picture again, silently judging the other rider. "You're better looking."

Buck couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. "And you wouldn't break her heart would ya Buck?" She asked peering over the paper at the Kiowa.

He looked over at the girl, wondering just how much this little girl had already picked up on. "No, I would never do anything to hurt Lou. I just want her to be happy and will do whatever it takes to do that."

"Why don't you marry her then?" Jeremiah asked suddenly joining in on the conversation.

"It's not that simple … Lou … well she loves the Kid and she married him. Even though he left her, she is still married to him. Plus … she wouldn't want me." Buck said shrugging taking the reins from the boy wanting to put an end to the direction this conversation had taken.

"How do you know if you don't ask?" Theresa pipped up.

"Yea, seems to me you care more about her. You came and got us after that … bastard."

"Jeremiah! That's a bad word." Theresa interrupted.

"Buck said it." he argued.

"He's a grown up!" Theresa argued back.

"He's not that much older than me! I'm thirteen, what are you Buck eighteen, nineteen?" Jeremiah asked.

"Actually I'm not really sure… I think maybe nineteen but I really don't know when my birthday is, Kiowa keep track of time differently than whites do." Buck explained.

"See he ain't much older." Jeremiah said sticking his tongue out at his kid sister.

"Still shouldn't say that word." Theresa muttered.

Buck grinned as they continued arguing, the topic of his marrying Lou forgotten. He was glad because he didn't know if he could explain to them in way that made sense, but didn't reveal his true feelings for their sister. Feelings that he only had just realized himself. He wanted time to think on them, to sort them out before he ever even thought about seeing if Lou could possibly one day feel the same. And even if she did, she was still married to the Kid. Yeah, he had released her but would that be recognized? If they were to someday want to marry, would they be able to? And Buck thought he was putting the cart before the horse even thinking about it. No, he needed to focus on getting home and making sure Lou was alright before he thought about maybe pursuing a relationship.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the Beta. Y'all she's the best, You can thank her for the fast updates. Earth Dragon, I would love to discuss my theory with you about Kid, but I have no way of directly messaging you since you are signed in as a guest. To everybody that has reviewed and followed this story so far, Thank You! Y'all have no idea how much your support means to me. No idea how crappy my life has been the past few years, finally being able to write again and to have such a warm welcome back... it means so much to me. Thank you, thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Teaspoon Hunter was coming in for the midday meal when he heard the sound of an approaching wagon. He lifted his hand to his head to shield his eyes to look towards the noise, a wide grin took over his face. He walked over to the wagon that was pulling into the yard. "Bout time you got here boy." Teaspoon chided as he helped Theresa down from the back of the buckboard. "How was the trip?"

"Long...how is she?" Buck asked hopping down from the seat.

"Why don't you ask her yerself?" Teaspoon said as he waved his arm towards the house, the screen door slamming open as a small woman burst through it.

"Jeremiah! Theresa!" Lou shouted rushing to her siblings.

"Louise!" they hollered back as they ran to her.

The three siblings collided in a tangle of limbs, hugging and crying. Lou looked over their heads at Buck who hung back, a smile on his face. "Thank you." she mouthed, tears streaming down her face.

Buck tipped his hat to her before leading the horses into the barn to unhitch them and brush them down. Teaspoon lead the siblings into the house to get lunch, leaving Buck alone in the barn with his thoughts. He worked quickly to tend the horses but did not go in the house after finishing, no he climbed into the hayloft and sat near the open door, looking out at the land, his land … well at least partly. Buck was happy to see Lou wasn't moping about anymore and he was happy that he was able to reunite her with her siblings. He wanted to talk to Lou, he wanted to make sure she was alright, truly alright. He wanted to see if there was anything else she needed him to do, anything she wanted, he would do it. He wanted … he wanted her.

"She'd never have me." Buck muttered to himself as he smacked his hat against his leg. "I wish you were here Ike … you'd know what to do."

How had he not seen this? How had he not known? How could he possibly tell her? He couldn't, he knew he couldn't. What good would it do if he did? None. None at all. It would just make things awkward between them. She of course would not return his feelings. She might even want him to leave … that was something he just could not do. He could never leave her. No, he would just have to keep his feelings to himself. She would never know, she did not need to know that he loved her. But loved her he did. He had not doubt about that at all.

Buck groaned as he leaned back against a bale of hay, rubbing his face with his hands. "This is going to be impossible."

"What's impossible?" Teaspoon asked, climbing into the hayloft at that moment.

Buck jumped, "You startled me Teaspoon."

"What's got you all distracted Buck? Ain't like ya to be startled by someone, 'specailly an old man like me." Teaspoon asked as he settled down next to Buck.

"Ain't important, just … just thinking." Buck shrugged trying to dismiss Teaspoon.

"Buck … I may be an old man, but I know a thing or two about love. I was married enough times to recognize it. And boy, it's plain as day that you love that girl." Teaspoon said pointing out the hayloft door to where Lou was playing with her siblings.

Buck had noticed her as soon as she had come out of the house, his eyes had not left her body. A smile on his face as she played, but upon Teaspoon's statement he flashed his startled eyes over to Teaspoon, "I … I don't know what you're talking about." Buck tried to deny.

Teaspoon just laughed, "Yer a terrible liar Buck."

"I can't tell her Teaspoon." Buck said shaking his head, his eyes sad.

"No, you can't … not yet at least. What you can do is be there. She'll figure it out on her own." Teaspoon said patting Buck's knee.

"That's what I'm afraid of … she'll not want me." Buck admitted softly.

"Buck, I don't know what Lou will or will not want but I've got a feeling you'd be surprised. Now come on, ya gotta be hungry." Teaspoon said standing offering his hand to Buck to help him up.

Buck took Teaspoons offered hand just as his stomach rumbled causing them both to laugh. He followed Teaspoon down the ladder and headed for the house. As soon as Buck came out of the barn Lou spotted him and came running throwing herself into Buck's arms and hugging him tightly.

"Thank you!" She gushed, kissing him on the cheek.

Buck squeezed her back, closing his eyes to cherish this embrace, "Anything for you Lou."

Lou relaxed her hold on Buck and stepped back slightly but didn't break contact, "I was scared …I didn't know where you had went. I thought you'd left me too … that you wouldn't be back." She admitted, her face flushing with the confession.

"I told you I'd be back… I'd never leave you Lou, you know that don't you. Your my best friend, my family." Buck told her, pulling her back into a tight hug.

"I know." she whispered. Because she did know. She knew that Buck meant what he said. He had never lied to her, he had always done exactly what he said he would do. He had always been there for her, he would always be there for her. "I need to talk to you … tonight … alone." she whispered in his ear before pulling away.

Buck looked in her eyes questioning but just nodded. "Go eat Buck." Lou laughed when his stomach rumbled again. He chuckled before releasing her, his hands lingering a might longer than they should have.

After quickly eating Buck went with Teaspoon to finish the chores around the ranch, before returning to the house to find Rachel and Lou arguing.

"What's this all about?" Buck asked when he walked in.

"Well Louise and I have a difference of opinion on where the children will sleep." Rachel said.

"She thinks Jeremiah will be fine in the mud room." Lou said angrily.

"That's not going to work, Rachel, winter is setting in, the mud room gets too cold." Buck said siding with Lou.

"Where else are we supposed to put him?" Rachel asked.

"He can have my room." Buck offered.

"And where are you going to sleep?" Lou asked, panic lacing her voice, surely Buck wasn't going to leave, not after he had said he wouldn't leave her.

"I can sleep in the tack room in the barn." Buck stated.

"You'll freeze come winter." Teaspoon pointed out.

"I can make a bedroll in the kitchen once the weather turns too cold." He suggested.

"I got a better idea," Teaspoon started, "Theresa can stay with Lou right?" At Lou's nod he continued, "Jeremiah can have my room."

"Where are you going to stay?" Lou asked interrupting.

"With me." Rachel said, a blush on her face.

Buck and Lou looked at each other wide eye before looking back at Teaspoon and Rachel, "We been meaning to tell y'all, but after … well when Kid left, we didn't think it was the time. We're getting married." Teaspoon told them.

"Really?" Lou asked in shock.

"I know… I was surprised she said yes myself." Teaspoon grinned.

"Congratulations." Buck offered still so confused, when had this happened?

"Well I guess that settles things then, Theresa will share a room with me and Jeremiah can have Teaspoons old room… when are you two getting hitched?" Lou asked.

"Don't rightly now … guess tomorrow we can go into town and see the preacher." Teaspoon said scratching his chin.

"I'll sleep in the barn tonight, Jeremiah can stay in my room until Teaspoon and Rachel get married." Buck suggested.

They all agreed that would be the plan and that first thing in the morning after the chores where done, they would all head into town for Rachel and teaspoon to get married. After supper, Buck went up to his room to gather his things for the evening, he was going to go down to the creek and wash up before bed. He slipped out of the house and made his way to the creek. The water was already getting cold, it wouldn't be long before he was unable to wash up there. Buck stripped down to his long john bottoms and waded into the water. He quickly scrubbed his skin clean and got out shivering. Maybe it was already too cold to be washing up there. He dried off and dressed, still shivering. Once dressed he hurried back to the barn where he was going to sleep, he had already made a bed for himself in the hayloft.

Buck climbed the ladder to the loft only to find Lou waiting for him. "Lou?"

"Hey Buck," Lou said biting her lip.

Buck came over and sat down next to Lou on the bale of hay she was using. "Is everything alright? You know you can tell me anything."

"I … I need your help." Lou said quietly, tears slipping out of her eyes.

"Anything Lou," Buck said, taking one of Lou's hands into his. "Whatever you need."

"I need some herbs … to … to cause … to cause a miscarriage." Lou whispered brokenly.

Buck blinked in shock, his mouth dropping open, "You're … you're pregnant?"

Lou could only nod. "Did he know?" Buck had to know, he had to know if Kid knew he was abandoning his pregnant wife.

Lou shook her head, "I … I was planning on telling him. I had just found out the day before he left. I was going to tell everybody at the same time … only he was gone when I woke the next morning."

"Oh, Lou, I'm so sorry. If this is what you want, I know of some herbs that have been known to cause miscarriages … but Lou … please don't do this." Buck begged.

"I don't want anything of Kid's … I can't have this baby. How could I even raise it on my own?" Lou cried, her shoulders shaking in what anger? Sorrow? Buck wasn't sure.

"Lou … this baby… it may be a part of Kid but it's also a part of you. You kill it, it will be like killing a piece of your own heart. Don't do this." Buck pleaded.

"I can't raise a baby on my own Buck." Lou said, "you said you'd help me."

"And I will, I will help you raise this baby. So will Teaspoon and Rachel, so will your siblings. Lou you aren't alone. You won't have to do this by yourself. But if you want I'll get you the herbs." Buck told her, his hand on her face making her look into his eyes. Eyes promising her that he'd be there every step of the way.

"You'd really help me raise this baby?" Lou asked not believing it.

"Of course, I would! Why wouldn't I? This baby is a part of you, how could I not?" Buck asked. Did she really not get that he would do anything for her.

Lou's heart ached over the sincerity in Buck's voice, in his eyes. She flung her arms around him hugging him tight, crying. Buck just held her back, rubbing her back soothing her. He never wanted to let her go. "I couldn't do this without you Buck." She whispered.

"I'm not going nowhere." Buck whispered back, kissing the top of her head.

He held her for a long time. His Lou was pregnant. She was pregnant. She was going to be a mom. She'd make a great mom. She was going to have a baby … she was going to have Kid's baby. No… not Kid's. Kid didn't deserve the honor of being called this baby's father. No this baby was Lou's. Only Lou's. He would be there for Lou. He would be there for this baby. He would be a father figure to this baby, just like Teaspoon had been to all of them. And maybe one day Lou would have another baby … his baby. Buck smiled at the thought.

"I … I better be getting back into the house. Good night Buck and thank you." Lou said finally pulling away and kissing Buck on the cheek before standing and moving towards the ladder.

"Goodnight Lou … and anytime, whatever you need." Buck said as she began her descent, she smiled over at him. "Always." He whispered after her head had disappeared. Buck watched from the loft as Lou made her way across the yard and into the house. "Always, anything and everything you want."

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the Beta. Hope everybody is enjoying this story so far. Thanks again for the support. If anybody has any thoughts they would like to discuss shot me a message.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next morning found Lou up earlier than the rest of the house. She had not slept well the night before at all. Her mind reeling over her conversation with Buck. Had he really told her he'd help raise her baby? Lou didn't know why his promise had caused a strange fluttering in her stomach. But she was still scared. How would the others react to her news? How would her siblings react, she had only just got them back, would they feel cheated somehow, that she had a new family and didn't need them? Lou groaned, it was no use trying to get any sleep, there was none to be had. She quietly slipped out of the bed she was now sharing with her sister and got dressed, before tiptoeing down the stairs.

Once Lou arrived in the kitchen, she put her shoes on, and found some bread and cheese to eat. With her meager meal in hand, Lou slipped out of the house to start on chores. She made her way to the southern corner of the property to begin repairs on the fence. She had been out there for at least an hour when she heard someone approaching.

"Lou?" Buck called softly so not to scare her.

"Mornin' Buck," Lou said over her shoulder at him before returning to her task at hand, "Give me a hand with this?"

Buck walked over to her and held the post she was trying to push the log slat into. "You shouldn't be doing this by yourself … probably shouldn't be doing it at all."

"I've sat about long enough Buck, there's too much work to be done." Lou said as she got the log into place.

"I know there is Lou, at least promise me you'll take it easy." Buck told her, his hand on her shoulder forcing Lou to look at him.

Lou met his worried eyes, her stomach doing a strange flip flop at the intensity in them. She swallowed hard, "I promise."

Buck gave her his signature lopsided smirk, "I'll hold you to that."

She smiled briefly before it disappeared completely, "Lou are you alright?" Buck asked concerned by her sudden change in behavior.

Lou put her hand to her stomach, it doing that strange flip flop again but not quite the same as before, her other hand flew to her mouth as an intense wave of nausea hit her. She turned away from Buck and ran off a few feet before she lost the small meal she had eaten. Buck followed after her, his arm going around her stomach holding her upright as she continued to heave, his other hand trying to keep her hair out of her face.

After several minutes, Lou straighten back up, her body sagging against Buck. He offered her his kerchief to wipe her face. "Thank you Buck… I don't know what came over me there."

"From what I understand about such things its a perfectly normal part of carrying a baby." Buck offered with a smile.

"Great." Lou muttered earning a chuckle from Buck who still continued to hold her, her back pressed against his chest. Lou let her head fall back against his shoulder, her eyes closing in contentment. She thought she could stay like this forever. Wait what? She quickly detached herself from Buck, a blush stealing across her face. "We .. we should get back to work."

Buck sighed at the loss of her warmth against him, "Yes. Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yes I feel better now." Lou stated going back over to the fence.

They continued working for at least an hour before Teaspoon joined them, "Y'all missed breakfast."

"I ate before coming out here." Lou said as her stomach rumbled.

Teaspoon laughed, "Sounds like you didn't eat enough."

Buck grinned looking over at Lou, they both knew why she was hungry. "You know I could use some food myself, You want to head back and get something to eat?"

"No need Buck, I brought y'all some food." Teaspoon said pointing at the basket he had set down a few feet away.

Lou walked over to the basket and withdrew two sandwiches from within, passing one to Buck and keeping the other for herself. They sat down and ate their food, Teaspoon joining them. "You two are out here working early. Something you want to talk about?" He asked when Lou shot a pointed look over at Buck, one that he returned.

"Just couldn't sleep is all." Lou said not meeting Teaspoon's eyes.

"Lou," Buck said softly.

"Later Buck." She hissed under her breath at him.

Teaspoon however did not miss it. He scratched his chin. These two was hiding something but he didn't know what. He knew it wasn't a relationship, he knew Buck would never tell Lou his feelings, at least not yet. But what could they possibly be hiding?

After the two had finished eating all three of them got back to work. Things went a lot quicker with another set of hands. They had just about finished that stretch of fence when it was time to stop for lunch. Lou was glad because she was beginning to feel a bit peckish again. Her face was flushed, sweat dripping down her face. They had almost made it to the house when she stopped walking, she felt strange.

Buck stopped and looked back at her, "Lou? You alright?"

"Buck … I …," she whispered, before she collapsed, Buck catching her just before she hit the ground.

"Teaspoon!" Buck yelled for the man who was several paces away from them.

Teaspoon turned back to see Buck sitting on the ground, Lou passed out in his arms. He rushed back to them. "What happened?"

"I don't know, she just stopped walking and then just collapsed." Buck cried, worry etched all over his face.

"Rachel! RACHEL!" Teaspoon shouted until she came out the door.

"What is all the shouting for?!" She hollered as she walked out onto the porch, until she spotted Lou. "Lou!" Rachel yelled, sprinting from the porch to where Buck held her. "What happened?"

"She just collapsed." Buck said gently shaking her trying to wake her up.

"Teaspoon, go get some water." Rachel told the older man, kneeling next to Buck. Once Teaspoon was out of earshot she whispered to Buck, "When is the last time you saw her eat?"

"She ate one of the sandwiches Teaspoon brought out to us." Buck told her.

Rachel placed her hand on Lou's forehead checking for fever, "She's not feverish."

"Rachel … I … Lou … she's pregnant." Buck said quietly.

Rachel's head shot up, her eyes landing on his face, "What?"

"She told me last night. Could that be why she passed out?" Buck asked concerned.

"It could very well be… she might have just overdone it this morning." Rachel stated.

"Please don't let her know I told you, it … it wasn't my secret to tell." Buck whispered as Teaspoon came back with a glass of water.

Buck lifted Lou up slightly, and pressed the glass of water to Lou's lips, slowly letting it slip past her lips. Lou began coughing against the cup that Buck quickly removed. "Lou, honey, you alright?" Buck asked brushing her hair away from her face.

Lou's eyes began to flutter open, "Buck?" she struggled to open her eyes, "What happened?" She asked when she finally got them open and looked up at his concerned face and to the faces around her.

"You passed out." Buck told her as he continued to hold her.

"Guess I got overheated." She said slightly embarrassed as her brother and sister rushed out of the house.

"Louise!" They both called having spotted her on the ground from inside. "Are you hurt?" Theresa asked kneeling down beside her sister.

"I'm fine Theresa… I just got overheated is all." Lou stated as she struggled to sit up, Buck reluctantly helped her.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Jeremiah asked his eyes worried.

"I'm fine really … I … I have to tell y'all something." Lou said as she slowly got to her feet. Buck helping her, his hand staying on her back to offer his silent support.

"What is is Lou?" Teaspoon asked.

"Well, the thing is … I'm … well I'm gonna have a baby." Lou told her family, biting her lower lip waiting for their reaction.

"A baby? That's wonderful Lou! But honey you gotta take it easy. You clearly worked too hard this morning." Rachel told her embracing her.

"Does that mean I'm getting a little sister?" Theresa asked.

"No stupid, you're going be an aunt." Jeremiah told her.

"Jeremiah! Don't call your sister stupid." Lou admonished him.

"I just gotta know one thing...", Teaspoon started looking at Lou who looked back at him in question, "Did Kid know?"

"No … he didn't know he was leaving a pregnant wife behind." Lou said sadly because she honestly didn't know if it would have made a difference if he had known.

Buck growling internally, even if Kid had known, he didn't think it would have made a difference, Kid had made his decision. Honestly Buck was kinda glad Kid had not known, because if he had and still had left Lou, Buck didn't think anything could have stopped him from going after Kid and beating the living hell out of him.

Teaspoon just nodded his head, sucking air between his teeth, "Well then little mama, let's get you inside and get some food in that belly of yers."

Lou laughed slightly in agreement as they made their way into the house, Buck still with his hand on her back, neither of them really noticing that he had not removed it. The others however did not miss it. A shared smile passing between Rachel and Teaspoon, a girlish grin on Theresa's face. A smirk on Jeremiah's, he liked Buck and even though he had only known him for a short time, he felt Buck was a good match for his sister. He just hoped that Louise would see that for herself.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the quick beta read. Hope everybody is enjoying the story so far, I probably won't have another update on this for a few days, so hope this will tied everybody over until t hen. As always comments and constructive criticism is much appreciated. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

After lunch, Buck and Teaspoon, went to the barn to hitch up the buckboard and saddle their horses, so the whole family could go into town with Rachel and Teaspoon to see the preacher. Buck looked over the back of his horse at Teaspoon who was whistling a jaunty little tune. "Someone's in a good mood," Buck laughed.

"Damn right I am, 'bout to marry the purtiest lady this side of the Mississippi." Teaspoon said with grin at Buck.

Buck shook his head, "All due respect to Rachel, but I gotta disagree with ya on that one."

Teaspoon laughed, "I know who you think is the purtiest." Teaspoon said just as Lou walked into the barn.

"Oh and who's that?" She asked walking in, just catching the tail end of the conversation.

"Oh, um, Lightning of course." Buck lied.

Lou couldn't help the disappointed frown that slipped onto her face for the briefest of seconds, that Buck missed cause he was hiding his face from Lou. Teaspoon however didn't, the corner of his mouth tipping up in a smirk. "Y'all were talking about horses?" Lou asked, she didn't know why she felt disappointed.

"Umm, yeah, right Teaspoon?" Buck asked sending a pleading look to the old man.

Teaspoon debated whether he should cover for Buck or hang him out to dry. "Sure, sure."

Lou looked at Teaspoon, they were lying to her she was sure of it. But why would they lie? She looked back over at Buck who was still refusing to meet her eyes. Was Buck in love with someone? Did he not want her know because of Kid? Did he think she'd be upset that Buck was in love when her own heart had just been broken? "Umm, alright… Rachel was wondering if y'all were almost done."

"Just about, sweetheart." Teaspoon told her before she turned around and walked out. "Buck, yer an idjit."

"What? Why?" Buck asked in surprise, Teaspoon had never once called him an idiot, he had called Cody that several times, Jimmy a few, even Kid before, but never him.

"Boy open your eyes! Lou was disappointed when you said Lightning." Teaspoon told him.

"No … you're imagining things Teaspoon," Buck said shaking his head in denial as he led the horses pulling the buckboard out of the barn with Teaspoon following with their horses.

"I'm telling ya Buck! You didn't see her face." Teaspoon argued back.

Buck just shook his head, he just couldn't believe Teaspoon. Why would Lou even care who he thought was the prettiest? Why would she be disappointed? He figured if Teaspoon was right, that Lou had in fact been disappointed, it was only because every girl wants to be thought about as pretty. That had to be what it was. That made more sense.

About half an hour later, the small family rode into Rock Creek heading for the small church where the preacher was waiting on them, apparently Teaspoon had already made arrangements the day before. So Buck found himself standing at the front of the church next to Teaspoon, Jeremiah and Theresa sitting on the front bench, the preacher's wife began playing the piano as the church doors opened revealing Lou. Buck couldn't help the longing he was feeling as she walked towards him. He wanted to be the one in Teaspoon's place with Lou in Rachel's place more than anything he had ever wanted. He swallowed hard when her eyes meet his, a smile gracing her beautiful face. Buck couldn't look away from her, not even when the music changed signaling Rachel was making her way towards Teaspoon. Buck only had eyes for Lou… his Lou.

Lou could feel Buck's eyes on her as Rachel walked towards Teaspoon. She wanted to look over at him but she forced herself to watch Rachel. Why was she feeling like this? When her eyes had met Buck's, her stomach had done a flip flop, her heart was racing, she had to look away. When Rachel had made it to Teaspoon, Lou risked a look at Buck, he was still staring at her, a look in his eyes that she didn't know. Their eyes met and locked, she couldn't look away. The blood was pounding in her ears. She had no idea what the preacher was saying. Until Teaspoon cleared his throat, "Buck the rings!"

Buck shook his head to clear it and fished the rings out of his pocket, his face flushing in embarrassment. What had he been thinking? Lou must surely think him daft. As Buck handed Teaspoon the rings, he flicked his eyes over to Lou, her face was flushed and she was looking away from him. Great, he had embarrassed her. Buck groaned internally, he had to get a hold of himself or Lou was gonna figure out he had feelings for her and that he couldn't allow. She'd want him to leave and he just couldn't do it.

Lou bit her lip trying to force herself to focus on the ceremony, when the preacher told Teaspoon he could kiss Rachel she breathed a sigh of relief, at least until they started walking down the aisle arm in arm and she was left standing with Buck. Buck had his arm out to her, she knew she was supposed to take it, so she slipped her hand into the crook of Buck's bent arm. Why did she feel so lightheaded all of a sudden? She tried to stay focused, she could hear Jeremiah and Theresa giggling behind her. She looked over her shoulder at them but they stopped doing whatever they were doing only for them to start giggling again as soon as she looked away. Children she thought in annoyance. They had made it outside the church finally, Teaspoon already helping Rachel up into the buckboard. Her siblings rushed around her and Buck to climb up into the back. Lou tried to let go of Buck's arm, but he unconsciously tightened his hold on her hand as he walked her around to the other side of the buckboard, he removed her hand from his arm, holding onto to it as he helped her up. His fingers lingering on hers a second longer than necessary. Lou could feel a strange flutter in her chest. What was going on?

Buck let go of Lou's fingers as slowly as possible. He savored the feel of her skin against his own. He had to stop this, this was getting ridiculous. He scolded himself, telling himself to get it together. He could hear the children giggling again, a blush crept up his neck as he let go and rushed to his horse. Teaspoon smirked at him as he mounted. "Not a word." Buck hissed under his breath, earning a chuckle from the old man.

They returned to the ranch, Buck and Lou both lost in their thoughts. Buck berating himself over his behavior knowing Lou was too smart, that she was going to discover his feelings. Lou turning everything over in her mind. Why was she acting this way around Buck? Why did her heart race when he touched her? Why did she want him to touch more of her? Was it her hormones? Or was it something more? She didn't know but she was determined to find out.

**A/N: Thanks to Shauna for the quick beta. Hope y'all like this chapter. Next update will be later in the week. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The next day Buck drove Lou and her siblings into town. Rachel had needed a few things from the general store and the children needed new shoes for winter. Plus, Lou wanted to see about getting her siblings into school. She knew they weren't keen on the idea, but Lou hadn't been able to go to school once she left the orphanage and she wanted better for her siblings.

Buck pulled the buckboard up in front of Tompkins' shop setting the brake before jumping down and helping Lou down, the children already out of the back and inside the store. "Do you want me to come with you Lou? I need to go over to the blacksmith, but it can wait." Buck asked, it was the first time Lou really would be getting out on her own since Kid left.

"I'm fine Buck, you go do your business." Lou told him, smiling up at him.

"If you're sure?" Buck asked at Lou's nod he left her on the walkway outside the store.

Lou swallowed hard as she watched Buck walk away from her. Honestly, she had wanted Buck to come in with her. She knew Tompkins would question her and she'd have to tell him about the Kid. She wasn't sure she was ready for the whole town to know her business. Steeling herself she walked inside to find Tompkins yelling at her siblings.

"What's going on?" She asked taking in Theresa's tear stained face and Jeremiah's balled up fist.

"I'm sorry Louise, I broke the jar of candy." Theresa said crying.

"You know these hooligans, Lou?" Tompkins asked stopping his sweeping up of the mess Theresa had made.

"This is my brother and sister, they've come to live with me." Lou told him, "How much is the damage?"

"Don't worry 'bout it, Lou, it was just an accident." Tompkins told her. He always did have a soft spot for the female rider. "So what can I do for you today?"

Lou walked over to the counter and laid Rachel's list down, "Rachel needs all this, charged to our account. Plus, I need to get new shoes for the children."

"I'll have it all ready for you soon, the shoes are over there in the corner if you want to go ahead and see if you can find the right fit for them." Tompkins told Lou looking over the list and then pointing to the far corner of the store.

"Thanks." Lou said as she moved towards where Tompkins had pointed dragging her siblings along with her.

About thirty minutes later, Tompkins walked over to them. "Got it all ready, y'all finding any shoes that fit right?"

"I think we are ready. We'll take these two pairs." Lou told him handing him the shoes to add to the bill.

On her way to the counter she stopped, her eye, catching sight of a large hunting knife much like the one Buck always carried, one that she had noticed was pretty banged up, a large chip had been knocked out of the blade and the handle was cracked. Lou picked it up and carried it to the counter.

"Anything else Lou?" Tompkins asked after adding the shoes to the bill and putting them in the box with Rachel's supplies.

"Yeah, but I'll pay for this myself." Lou said laying the large knife on the counter.

"That's a pretty big knife Lou, I've got some smaller ones you might like." Tompkins said as he passed the ledger for her to sign with the charge.

"It's not for me … it's a gift for Buck." Lou told him, pulling out her money pouch to pay for the knife.

"It his birthday or something?" Tompkins asked.

"No … he just needs a new one and well I wanted to thank him for going to get my siblings for me." Lou told him as she handed over the money.

"Why didn't Kid go get them?" Tompkins asked looking at her confused.

Lou's breath caught, she had trapped herself, "Because he left me. Went to go fight for the south."

"What? Well, I'm sure he'll be fine Lou and be back before you know it." Tompkins said offering her an encouraging smile.

"He's not coming back… he released me from our marriage." Lou told him quietly.

"I'm real, sorry 'bout that Lou… you deserved better. If you need anything you don't hesitate to ask." Tompkins offered, patting her shoulder just as Buck came in.

"Howdy Buck." Tompkins called as Buck made his way over to them.

"Tompkins." Buck said tipping his hat missing Lou stashing the knife away out of sight.

"You ready Lou?" Buck asked her.

"Yeah, I just need to go see the school teacher." Lou told him.

"You go ahead, I'll load this up and pick you up from there." Buck said lifting the box off the counter.

Lou and her siblings walked out of the store and over to the school house leaving Buck alone with Tompkins who had followed him out to the buckboard.

"He really just abandoned her?" Tompkins asked once Lou was out of earshot.

Buck looked over at the older man, he genuinely looked upset for Lou. "Yeah … didn't even have the decency to say goodbye, just up and left in the middle of the night and left a note and his wedding ring."

"Damn bastard." Tompkins muttered. Buck just nodded his head. "Well if y'all need anything you let me know."

"Actually, I need you to order some lumber for me. Here is a list of the materials I need." Buck said pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket.

Tompkins looked over the list, "This is quite a bit, what you planning on building?"

"Couple things actually, an extra room for one." Buck told him, "well I best be getting over to the school house. How long before you have everything?"

"Give me a couple of weeks, some of this I'll have to order from back east." Tompkins told him.

"I'll see you in a couple weeks then." Buck said tipping his hat in farewell as he drove off towards the school.

Lou was just coming out as he pulled up, Jeremiah and Theresa climbing into the back, Buck hurried around to help Lou up into the seat. "How did it go?"

"Not as well as I would have liked." Lou mumbled.

"What happened?" he asked as he climbed back up into the seat, snapping the reins over the horses back.

"We ain't gonna be going to school." Jeremiah said with grin.

"Why not?" Buck asked looking at Lou out of the corner of his eye, she was furious.

"I ain't about to send them to that school." Lou seethed.

"Am I missing something? You were all fired up this morning about getting them signed up for school." Buck asked turning to look at her fully.

"She don't like the teacher none." Theresa offered in explanation.

"And why is that?" Buck asked the young girl.

"Because she's a bitch." Lou stated.

"Louise that's a bad word!" Theresa admonished.

Lou just glared back at her sister, "It's the truth."

Buck just looked back and forth between the siblings wishing someone would explain just what the hell was going on. Lou just didn't go around calling people names. "Who is the teacher?" Buck asked.

Lou refused to even look at him, Theresa just looked scared to say anything more after the death glare Lou gave her. "Some lady name Devlin. Louise was pretty mad the minute she saw her."

Buck about dropped the reins when he heard that name, "You've got to be joking."

"Why would I joke about that?" Jeremiah asked confused.

Buck looked at Lou who looked back at him and he knew without a doubt that the school teacher was in fact one Kathleen Devlin. "What the hell is she doing here and a teacher of all things?"

"My thoughts exactly, she ain't coming within ten feet of you, me, or my siblings. After that stunt she pulled… she could have gotten you killed." Lou said angrily.

"My own stupidity could have gotten me killed." Buck said with a little laugh.

"Promise me you won't go near her Buck… I don't want you to be hurt again." Lou softly asked.

"Lou, I promise you, I want nothing to do with her." Buck promised.

"You loved her Buck… she broke your heart." Lou stated her voice sounding hurt.

Buck reached over and took Lou's hand, squeezing it, "No Lou, I didn't love her. I thought I did but that wasn't love."

Lou looked over at Buck, his hand still holding hers. Her heart was beating pretty loudly, so loudly she was surprised Buck couldn't hear it. Why was she so relieved that Buck didn't love Kathleen anymore or in fact never did? She needed to think on that some more.

After arriving home, Buck helped Lou down and then carried the supplies into the kitchen for Rachel before going to finish chores up before supper. He had a lot to think about. He didn't know how he felt about Kathleen being in Rock Creek. He had no desire to see her, but he hated that Jeremiah and Theresa were missing out on an education because she was the teacher. Maybe he should talk to Lou about letting them go anyway. No, she wouldn't go for that. Maybe Rachel could teach them? He had to talk to Lou about it, it was her decision after all.

Later that evening after supper, Buck was in the barn fixing some tack before bed when Lou came in. Buck looked up at her entrance, he smiled, "Hey Lou, you need something?"

Lou smiled at him walking over to where he was sitting on a bale of hay, joining him, their legs touching. "I have something for you." She said as she pulled a package from her beside her, having hidden it in the folds of her skirt until she sat down.

Buck kinda liked the fact she had taken to wearing skirts when she wasn't helping with the chores, not that he didn't like her in pants just as much. Lou passed him the package, "What's this?" he asked taking it.

"A gift … I wanted to thank you for everything you've done since … well since always really." Lou said with a shrug, blushing slightly.

Buck untied the string holding the cloth together and unwrapped it to reveal the new knife. "Lou you shouldn't have."

"Do you not like it?" She asked worried.

"No, I like it, I really do. And I needed a new knife, but honey, this knife is expensive. I know, I've looked at it often enough." Buck told her trying to pass it back to her.

Lou pushed it back into his hands, "You deserve it Buck… I would be lost without you… I can never thank you enough for going after Jeremiah and Theresa, for staying here, not leaving me like everybody else."

"Lou," Buck said as he brushed a tear that had escaped Lou's eyes away with his thumb, "I don't need any thanks, I had to go after them. You know I would do anything for you, don't you?"

Lou's stomach did a flip flop at the intensity in Buck's eyes, "I'm beginning to." She whispered, her voice sounding almost husky.

Buck wanted to kiss her so bad, his heart was hammering in his chest, the way she was looking at him, he couldn't almost believe that she wouldn't mind if he kissed her. But instead he just wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head.

Lou melted into his arms, a contented sigh escaping her. She didn't know how long they sat like that. She didn't really care, she had no desire to get up. But Buck pulled away from her leaving her disappointed. "You best be getting inside Lou, it's getting chilly. I'll be in soon."

Buck wouldn't look at her as she stood up. Had she made him uncomfortable by snuggling against him like that when he probably was just going to give her a quick hug as thanks? Lou felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment as she left him alone. What had she been thinking? Why was she acting like she liked Buck? He was her friend only, so why did she want him to kiss her? Lou's head shot up with a start, her foot pausing on the step going up to the house porch. She had wanted Buck to kiss her. She had been disappointed that he didn't, that he had pulled away from their hug. Her stomach was constantly full of butterflies when he looked at her a certain way, when his hand would graze hers. Holy hell, she did like Buck. When had that happened? What was she going to do? She couldn't tell him, it would just make things awkward between them, he might even want to leave. No, she couldn't let that happen. She needed him. She had to go on and pretend that nothing had changed. He could never know.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta job. Well this chapter surprised me, I had not planned on bringing that woman into this story but my blasted muse had other ideas. Let's just hope Kathleen doesn't cause too much trouble. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Two weeks later Buck went into to town to pick up the supplies he had ordered from Tompkins. He pulled the buckboard up in front of the store, setting the brake to go inside. He had just hopped down and was fixing to walk through the door when it opened, the woman coming through walking right into him. "Pardon me." Buck said catching the woman as she stumbled.

The woman looked up at him, batting her eyelashes, a bright smile on her face, "Why, Buck Cross, what a nice surprise."

Buck felt like he had been slapped across the face, "Miss Devlin."

"Now Buck, there's no need to be so formal, we are old _friends _after all." Kathleen said her eyes glinting wickedly.

"Friends is not how I would describe us." Buck stated stepping back so she could go around him.

Kathleen, smirked, not moving out of his way. "Would lovers be a better term." She said softly, her voice husky.

Buck closed his eyes briefly in shame, "That was a long time ago."

"Oh, but who's to say we couldn't pick right back up where we left things off?" Kathleen suggested, her hand going to Buck's bicep squeezing it.

Buck reached up and removed her hand from his body, stepping back again to put some space between them, "You mean when you used me to make your daddy want to send you back to Paris? How did that work out for you?"

"Now, Buck, don't be mad with me. I really did like you, making daddy mad was just a bonus." Kathleen simpered.

"If Lou hadn't gone after the boys, Rance would have killed me, or did you forget that part? Why are you even here?" Buck asked, his eyes flashing in anger.

"Oh, yes, Lou, or I should say Lou_ise._ Did you know that little whore came in to my school just the other day wanting to put her '_siblings_' in it, we both know those brats are probably hers?" Kathleen cruelly said.

"Don't you Dare. Ever. Call Lou a whore again and those are her siblings. Now get out of my way." Buck seethed. He had never wanted to hit a woman more than he did at that moment.

"So, you knew he was a she? Tell me Buck, did all the riders take turns at her? Is that how you knew all those little tricks, did your little whore teach them to you?" Kathleen laughed at him, her face pure evil.

"If you weren't a woman, I'd knock the hell outta you for that, I mean it, stay the hell away from me and from Lou." Buck threatened lowly before brushing rudely past her, his whole body shaking with rage. How, dare that woman! How had he ever thought he had loved that bitch? He couldn't believe he had ever been with her. Buck felt dirty.

"You alright Buck?" Tompkins asked when he spotted the Kiowa. Buck just shook his head and looked back towards the door where Kathleen was still standing. "Ah, I see you ran into Miss Devlin… don't know what the board was thinking hiring her as the school marm. Didn't you court her back in Sweetwater?"

"Don't remind me." Buck muttered earning a laugh from the older man. "You got my order in?"

"Yeah got it in just yesterday. You sure you're alright Buck?" Tompkins asked again when Buck was still shaking.

"I'm fine … I … I just got a feeling that woman is going to be trouble." Buck said nodding his head towards the door where Kathleen was just leaving.

Tompkins looked at Buck knowingly, rubbing his chin. "Lou didn't put her siblings in school with that woman, did she?"

"No." Buck said simply as he and Tompkins started loading the supplies into the back of the buckboard.

The two worked in silence for several minutes, Buck's mind reeling. Kathleen had gotten under his skin. He was worried for Lou. He was worried what rumors Kathleen possibly already had spread around town. He was worried that he would forever be unworthy of Lou because he had been with that devil Devlin woman. "You know Buck, Lou, she's a pretty special little lady." Tompkins said suddenly.

Buck looked over at the man, his brows knitting in confusion at his sudden statement, "She is." Buck agreed.

Tompkins smiled, "She can handle whatever Miss Devlin throws at her."

"She shouldn't have to." Buck replied, shaking his head surprised by how astute Tompkins really was.

"No, she shouldn't, but she's a tough one." Tompkins said as they loaded the last of the supplies into the back of the buckboard.

Buck shook the older man's hand and climbed up into the seat, "Thanks Tompkins."

"Oh and Buck," Tompkins said just before Buck drove off.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Lou knows your past and you know hers. She won't care about it anymore than you do about hers." Tompkins said laughing at Buck's startled expression.

"I may be old but I ain't blind Buck." he laughed as he walked back inside, leaving Buck sitting in the buckboard staring after him like an idiot.

Buck drove back to the ranch in a daze. Were his feelings for Lou really so obvious or was Tompkins just really that observant? Did Kathleen intend to cause problems for him and Lou? Could he still be worthy of her, even having been with that woman? He felt so dirty. How could he have ever thought he loved that horrible woman? Buck shivered in disgust at the thought of her naked body pressed against his. She had been so aggressive, she was the one that had started things. Sure, he had kissed her first, but she was the one that had pushed him down to the ground, straddling him, removing his clothes. Buck gagged, stopping the horses as he jumped down feeling like he was going to be sick as he remembered how she had undone the ties of his pants, pulling out his manhood. How she had stroked it to life with her hands. How she had lifted her skirts and sank onto him. Buck put his hand to the side of the buckboard as he lost his lunch. He hadn't wanted to take her like that, he wanted her first time to be special, but the more Buck thought about it the more he realized that Kathleen had not been an innocent. She had used Buck in more ways than one. She had made him think, he had taken her innocence, that they had to run away together, that he had to marry her to save her reputation. Buck was furious, as he pulled his knife out and threw it at a nearby tree, almost wishing he could do the same to that woman. God, he had been such an idiot. If Lou hadn't gone after the boys… Lou she had saved him.

Buck smiled as he thought of Lou, pulling the knife she had given him from the tree. Lou. Lou was … she was everything. She was there for him that day, she had saved him. She was there for him when Ike had died, she was the one who went after him. She was the one that had supported him after he had shot Neville. She was the one that came up with the idea that was supposed to keep their small family together. She was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Buck climbed back up into the buckboard and started back for home, back to Lou. He needed her. He needed to see her sweet face. He needed to touch her, to hold her, to love her. Buck shook his head. She wasn't his to hold or love and she never would be.

Lou looked up from the peas she was shelling as Buck drove into the yard, she smiled when she saw him, but it slipped from her face when she saw Buck's face. Something was wrong. Lou put down the pan of peas and walked over to Buck as he began unloading the lumber from the back of the buckboard. "You alright Buck?"

Buck looked up at Lou and smiled, his hand reaching out for her on its own. Lou taking it without thinking. Buck pulled her into his side, his arms going around her shoulder as he hugged her tightly. Lou squeezed him back, her heart doing a happy little dance at this unexpected affection. Buck let her go quickly, his face flushing, "Sorry … I … I just needed a hug."

"You have nothing to apologize for Buck. I like your hugs." Lou said simply touching his cheek with her hand making him look at her, "What's wrong?"

Buck sighed, his eyes closing in frustration as he slumped against the side of the buckboard, "Kathleen."

Lou could feel her own anger bubbling up, "What did that devil woman do?" she growled out.

"I ran into her at Tompkins … let's just say she insinuated some horrible things about you." Buck told her ashamed that he had ever thought he had feelings for that woman.

"She called me a whore, didn't she? Probably said that I had slept with all y'all boys. Hell, I bet she even claimed that Theresa and Jeremiah were my actual children, not that I'm even old enough to have given birth to either of them!'' Lou practically shouted.

"Uh … yeah pretty much word for word." Buck mumbled, as he rubbed his face with his hand. "Just thinking about … god I feel dirty."

"You thought you were in love Buck." Lou told him quietly.

"Still … I hadn't wanted to … you know. She's the one … that well… yeah. I thought I had taken her innocence." Buck told Lou, his face blushing profusely.

"Wait, Buck, are you saying she forced you to sleep with her?" Lou asked, her brows knitting.

"I wouldn't say forced, it just happened so fast. One minute I had kissed her, the next she had me on the ground, my pants down, and … yeah." Buck explained, he didn't want to talk about this, not with Lou.

"Buck … I know you don't think so, but what she did… she used you. Just like Wicks used me." Lou said softly, her hand over Buck's heart.

Buck curled his fingers around Lou's. His mind working fast over what Lou had just said. Was she right? He had wanted to sleep with Kathleen, but not like that, not there. He had wanted it to be special. That hadn't been special, that had just been pure lust on Kathleen's part. And his body had just responded to her touch. Buck felt like he was going to be sick again. "Shit." he muttered.

"Buck, she used you and I'm so sorry that she's in Rock Creek." Lou told him, her eyes full of sorrow and did he dare hope, love?

"I don't care what she did to me Lou … I'm scared of what she is saying about you around town." Buck admitted.

"Who cares what she says. I'm sure it ain't nothing that the good townsfolk of Rock Creek ain't already thinking 'bout me. All I care about is what you, Teaspoon, Rachel, and 'Miah and 'Resa, think about me." Lou said with a shrug.

Buck smirked, Tompkins was right, Lou was one tough lady. He knew she would be alright, sure Kathleen was probably gonna make things unpleasant in town for them, but it didn't matter. As long as Lou knew he was there for her, no matter what, it would be alright. Buck pulled Lou against his chest, his cheek resting against the top of her head. He felt Lou sigh, her breath ghosting along his collar bone. He so wanted to tell her he loved her, but he couldn't. So, he just kissed the top of her head and let her go, the briefest look of disappointment flashing in Lou's eyes. So, brief he thought he probably just imagined it. "I best get back to unloading this." he mumbled turning his back to her, so she wouldn't see the look of longing he was sure was on his face.

"You want help?" Lou asked.

Buck turned to look at her, a hopeful expression on her face, "I don't know if you should be lifting things Lou."

"I'll be careful, I promise." Lou swore.

"Oh alright," Buck huffed out in resignation.

Together the two worked side by side unloading the lumber and other supplies out of the buckboard, "What is all this for anyway?" Lou asked looking at the strange assortment of supplies, some of which she recognized and some she didn't.

Buck grinned over at her, "I'm going add a room onto the house so you don't have to share with Theresa anymore."

"All this is for one room?" Lou asked holding up some metal piping.

Buck laughed, "No that's gonna be for the outdoor shower I plan to build."

"Like the one we had in Sweetwater?" Lou asked.

"Similar, I saw this article in a paper, when I went to get your brother and sister, talking about them. Instead of using collected rainwater, this one will actually come up out of the well like the water pump at the sink." Buck explained.

"Really? So, we won't have to worry about running out of water while we still have soap in our hair?" Lou asked excited, she couldn't tell you how many times that had happened to her.

"That's the theory at least. I figured I could have it built and be ready to use come spring, I have to bury all this pipe work under the ground leading to the wall, just like the kitchen pump." Buck told her.

"That's going be so nice, I can't hardly wait." Lou smiled up at him, "What made you think to do that?"

"I know how much you liked the one we had at the old station, so when I read that article… I just knew I had to try to build one for you." Buck admitted his face flushing as he looked down at his boots embarrassed.

"You're too good to me Buck." Lou said before leaning in and kissing him on the cheek before skipping, away to the porch to resume her shelling duties leaving Buck standing there staring after her, his hand going to the spot she had kissed him, a crooked little smile on his face. If she had liked the shower idea so much, he couldn't wait to see her reaction to the other thing he was planning on making for her.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the Beta read. Thank you to all the reviewers so far. So one review brought up that Buck and Kathleen might have been 'together' and honestly I had not thought about that. Buck never struck me as the type to just jump into bed so to speak with a lady that quickly, so I figured if they had been, it had been Kathleen who had been the instigator. And like in this story, i think it would have been almost against Buck's will but he is a man and she is a pretty lady so Buck couldn't help that his body responded to her, he did think he loved her after all. Also to the reviewer that said she thought even Yvonne would have liked this story... that is probably one of the best things anybody has ever said to me. Thank you.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The weather had turned cold, the days seemed shorter. It had been almost three months since Kid had left. Lou sat in her room, Kid's wedding ring in her hand, she didn't know why she still had it. Lou put her hand over her growing stomach, she figured in about four more months this little one would make its appearance. Lou put the ring back into her bedside drawer and looked to the dress hanging on her door, it was beautiful, Rachel had made it for her to wear to the dance tonight. A dance she wasn't sure she should attend. She hadn't been into town since she had tried to put her siblings in school. As far as she knew no one in town knew she was expecting and she wasn't sure she wanted them all to know, to know that her husband had abandoned his pregnant wife. She didn't want anyone feeling sorry for her. But her siblings were really looking forward to this dance, it would be the last chance of any kinda social gather before winter had set fully in.

Lou got up from her bed and left the room going to the newly added on room of Theresa's, her sister was already dressed for the dance, "You want me to fix your hair?" Lou asked from the doorway.

Theresa looked over at her big sister, "I'll get Rachel to do it Louise … you need to get ready."

Lou paused in the doorway, looking around the room that Buck had built with his own two hands. She smiled when she thought of Buck, he had never liked the dances back when they were in the express but he had always gone to them, usually just holding up a wall as he watched everybody else dance. Maybe she could get him to dance with her tonight. She sighed as she left her sister and went back to her room, she couldn't put it off any longer, she had to change for the dance.

A short time later, Lou made her way to the kitchen where she could hear her family gathered laughing and enjoying each other's company. Her eyes landing on Buck as soon as she entered, he was dressed in his best clothes, his dark hair pulled back into a pony tail, he had always looked so handsome like that, but Lou preferred his hair hanging lose. Buck spotted her immediately, getting to his feet to go over to her.

"You look beautiful," Buck said softly as he put his hand on her back and lead her over to a chair. His hand softly touching her belly briefly when she had sat down.

Rachel turned to look at Lou, "That dress shows off your baby bump a little more than I thought it would."

"I noticed … guess it will be all over town after tonight." Lou murmured.

Buck had sat next to Lou, his hand resting on her stomach, "It would have come out sooner or later Lou."

"I know Buck … I just … I don't want nobody feeling sorry for me is all." Lou explained.

Teaspoon came into the kitchen at that moment, "Y'all 'bout ready? The buckboard is all hitched up."

The small family loaded up and made their way into town, Buck riding alongside the buckboard on his horse while, Teaspoon drove it with Lou and Rachel sitting beside him, the children in the back. As soon as they arrived the kids were out and inside before Buck even had a chance to tie his horse to the hitching post. He chuckled at their excitement as he made his way to Lou's side, reaching up he lifted her down from the buckboard, his hands on her waist, hers on his shoulders. Her skirts and stomach brushing against him as he sat her on her feet. He gave her that little smirk of his, setting Lou's heart hammering, she swallowed hard. "It will be alright Lou." Buck whispered thinking she was nervous about the dance, never once even thinking she was reacting to him.

"I know it will be as long as you're with me." Lou told him, taking his offered arm as he led her inside the dance hall.

Buck took Lou's cloak and hung it up along with his heavier jacket before taking Lou by the hand and leading her out on the dance floor. He spun her around the dance floor in a lively little jig, her face flushed from the exertion and from laughing. Both of them were to focused on each other to notice Kathleen watching them, her eyes calculating. After dancing to several songs, Buck led Lou to a seat and went to get her some punch. Kathleen cornered him at the food table.

"Well, now Buck, it looks like your little whore is expecting. Tell me does she even know which one of you boys is the father?" Kathleen taunted, her eyes glinting evilly.

Buck's back had been to her when she had started speaking, it had gone completely rigid. He turned to look at this devil woman, "You are trying my patience, keep it up and I might just forget you're a woman."

Kathleen smirked, "Oh, Buck, you know full well just how much of a woman I am." Buck cringed. Kathleen moved in close, putting a hand on Buck's chest, batting her eyes at him, "Dance with me?"

"I'd just as soon dance with a rattlesnake." Buck stated backing away from her and quickly escaping back to Lou who had been watching the whole scene.

Lou took the cup Buck offered her as he sat next to her, his body shaking in pent up rage. Lou didn't say anything, she could just imagine what Kathleen had said to Buck. She looked back over at the refreshment table where Kathleen was still standing, her lips turned up in a cruel smile as she whispered to a group of ladies, their heads turning in shock in Lou's direction. Lou drew her brows together. She didn't like this. She watched as that group of ladies scattered going to other groups and then others until it seemed everybody was looking at her. "Buck, take me home please." Lou whispered a short time later.

Buck who had been lost in his own musings had missed the shift in atmosphere until that moment, he lifted his head to look at Lou seeing her distress. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

Lou just nodded her head in the direction of Kathleen and all the other woman, and now men who were looking at her, at them, their eyes full of judgment and damnation. Buck looked at them, then he saw Kathleen's look of victory. His hand balling into a fist, God he wanted to beat the shit out of the that devil woman. Standing he offered Lou his hand helping her to her feet, pulling her close to his side, his arm around her shoulders protectively as he led her towards the door.

"Running away with your whore Buck?" Kathleen asked loudly, the surrounded ladies either giggling or gasping in supposed shock.

"Yeah, why don't you share her? Seems like you boys already had a go, how 'bout the rest of us get a turn at her." a man Buck had only seen a couple of times around town called out.

Lou's face was bright red, her eyes welling with tears. "Come on honey, let's go." Buck said softly for her ears only. He tried to push through the crowd to get her away from there. He could see Teaspoon and Rachel already at the door with the children, Teaspoon trying to get to them.

A man grabbed Lou by the arm and pulled her away from Buck, "So how much you charge whore?"

Buck got between the man and Lou, "Get your damn hands off her!" he shouted pushing the man away.

"Bet it ain't too much seeing how she whored herself to a half breed and a negro." another man called.

Lou was openly crying, her hands on Buck's back as he, tried to keep her behind him as the crowd pushed them further away from the door. "Lou ain't a whore! That's Kid's baby, half of y'all were there when they got married!" Buck shouted trying to get the crowd to see reason.

Buck could see Teaspoon trying to push through the crowd to them, he could see Rachel holding the children in the doorway, all of them crying. He could see the crowd wasn't done with them yet.

"Sure, it is. Seems to me he found out that she had been unfaithful so he left her. He didn't want used goods." Kathleen called out from somewhere in the crowd.

"Whore!" "It's our turn at her." "Half-breed's whore." came from among the crowd. They were closing in, Buck knew he'd have to fight but he didn't want to take the chance of Lou getting caught up in it, not with the baby. And just when he thought he didn't have any other choice the sound of a gunshot rang out, the crowd stilling.

"What the Hell is wrong with you people?!" Tompkins booming voice called out. "Y'all know Lou, you know Buck! Every single one of you ought to be ashamed of yourself, talking to and treating a lady like that. 'specially an expecting one!"

Several members of the crowd had the decency to look ashamed of themselves, but Buck could see that not everyone felt the same. Buck took the opportunity to get Lou out of there, making their way through the crowd that let them go. Buck reached Teaspoon and Tompkins, Lou's whole body was trembling. Tompkins put his arm around Lou's shoulder giving her a quick hug before releasing her back to Buck who quickly got her out of there. Rachel already had the children in the buckboard. They cried and hung on to Lou once she made it out to them.

"I'm so sorry Louise." Rachel said quietly.

"This wasn't your fault Rach." Lou told her, tears still falling from her eyes.

"This was my fault." Buck stated, he wanted to punch something.

"How could this possibly be your fault son?" Teaspoon asked coming up at that moment, Tompkins by his side.

"If I had never gotten involved with that … that woman! She wouldn't have any reason to be doing this." Buck seethed gesturing violently back towards the dance where he knew Kathleen was probably staring shit up again.

"Hell, hath no fury like a woman scorned." Tompkins offered.

"Not helping." Rachel told him. Tompkins just shrugged. "It will blow over before you know it, don't let it get to you Lou." Tompkins told the young woman, turning to Buck he said, "You're going have to do something about that woman."

Buck nodded, "I know… I just don't know what I can do."

"We'll figure that out later Buck. Right, now lets just get everybody home." Teaspoon said, as he climbed up into the buckboard. "Tompkins." Teaspoon tipped his hat to the man.

Rachel handed Buck his jacket as Teaspoon started the buckboard headed back towards home, leaving him standing there with Tompkins. "Thank you … I didn't want to start fighting… not with Lou caught in the middle of all that." Buck told Tompkins, offering his hand out to shake the older mans.

Tompkins looked at it for a minute before grasping Bucks arm and pulling him in for a hug, slapping Buck on the back. "Son, you are a good man and Lou is a special little lady, anybody that can't see that is an idiot. You best be getting on home and taking care of that little lady."

Buck just nodded his head at a loss for words, he didn't know how but he had won Tompkins respect and support and he had never been more glad to know the man than he was tonight. Buck mounted his horse and rode to catch up with the buckboard. When they arrived home, Rachel took the children inside and to their rooms for bed. Teaspoon took the horses, leaving Buck to take care of Lou. He helped her down from the buckboard and helped her into the house, she was still crying. Buck took her into the parlor and stoked up the fire as she sat on a settee. Once the fire was burning good again, Buck pulled Lou over to the couch with him, sitting with one leg along the seat, the other hanging off, so that Lou was sitting between his legs her back to his chest, her face pressed against his neck where it met his shoulders. Buck had his arms around her, his hands resting on her swollen belly. He just held her and she just let him and that's how they stayed the rest of the night, not speaking just taking comfort in each other just being there. They eventually even fell asleep like that, Rachel coming in a few hours later to cover them with a blanket.

The next morning Buck woke first, his back and shoulders stiff from the awkward sleeping position. Lou had at some point turned so that she her legs were curled up on the couch, but her face and chest were pressed against his chest, Buck's shirt had been unbuttoned a little, he could feel her breath on his skin, one of her hands was inside his shirt, touching his chest. Buck had to swallow as his mouth became suddenly dry. His hands ran slowly down Lou's back and back up again. His pants began to feel a little too tight, he had to get out of there before he embarrassed himself. Too late, he thought as Lou woke up, stretching, her body pressing against his even more. He was so hard. He knew she had to have felt it poking her. Lou raised her eyes to meet Buck's, the corner of her mouth turning up into a little smirk. "You happy to see me Buck?" She teased.

Buck felt his whole face flush as he looked away, "I can't help it Lou." he muttered.

"I was only teasing Buck. I know you didn't mean for it to happen." Lou told him, she couldn't help but wish that it wasn't just a natural thing for a guy to wake up like that, but that it was because he desired her.

Buck bit his tongue to keep from telling Lou the truth of his feelings. He knew Lou just thought it was just a natural guy thing, but Buck knew it was because it was Lou's body pressing against him. He wanted to bury himself in her, to make her his. He wanted that baby she was carrying to be his. He wanted to be the one to put more babies inside her. He wanted her, just her.

"Lou … about last night." Buck started after she had shifted her position so that she wasn't practically laying on top of him.

"I don't want to talk about it, Buck." Lou stated shutting him down.

Buck reached for her, his hand touching the side of her face making her look at him, his other hand going to her belly on its own accord, "I'm so sorry they said those horrible things to you honey. I wish I had never met that devil woman."

"Buck… this ain't your fault. That bitch just stirred the pot is all. Those people were already thinking it or it wouldn't have gotten so out of hand. I knew the risk of staying in this town after I came out as a girl. I just wish 'Miah and 'Resa didn't have to see all that." Lou told him, her face sad.

"I wish I could protect you from the hatefulness… but I just make it worse for you just because of what I am." Buck admitted.

Lou looked at him and she knew that Buck had been just as hurt last night as she had been, because he had been unable to protect her. That they had used his race as fuel against her. Lou put her hand over his hand on her stomach, "I wish I could protect you from it as well."

Buck raised his eyes to Lou's, she truly understood, they were both outcast. His eyes flickered over her lips. He wanted to kiss her. Lou's tongue slipped out moistening her lips, Buck started to lean in, Lou's head tilting toward him. Her eyes slowly closed as they moved closer, Buck's closing as their lips were a breath apart. He could feel her breath ghost across his lips, they were so close. His heart was hammering so loud, he was sure Lou could hear it. This was it, he was going to kiss her. His hand was in her hair, pulling her closer, her hand was on his chest. Their lips with just a hair of space between them, when the door slammed opened startling the two apart.

"Morning Buck! Lou!" Teaspoon called cheerfully as he entered as the two sprang apart, not able to look at each other. Teaspoon grinning. He was decidedly evil having timed that just right, he knew what he had interrupted.

"Teaspoon." Buck said, glaring at the older man, which just earned a chuckle. Lou excused herself retreating to her room. When Lou's door closed Buck rounded on the man. "I was this close!" Buck exclaimed, holding his fingers to show Teaspoon.

"I know." Teaspoon said knowingly.

"Then why?" Buck asked, he couldn't believe that Teaspoon could be so evil.

"Cause … it's been my experience that the more build up there is to love making the better it is when you finally get it." Teaspoon told Buck. "Trust me on this son."

Buck flung his head back against the couch, dragging his hands down his face. "Sometimes I hate you, old man." Buck said grinning.

"We both know that's a lie." Teaspoon told him as he sat down next to Buck on the couch, slapping Buck's knee.

Buck sighed wistfully, "I almost kissed her."

"And from what I could see, she wanted you to." Teaspoon added.

"You really think so?" Buck asked, hopeful for the first time that Lou might actually one day return his feelings.

Teaspoon just grinned, leaving Buck alone to his thoughts.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. So does anybody else hate that Devlin bitch as much as I do right now? Also, I really want to strangle Teaspoon. That was just cruel. Anyway thanks to all the reviews, y'all make my day. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 **

Lou stayed in her room until Buck left to do chores. She couldn't face him right then. She had almost kissed him or had he almost kissed her? Was it possible that Buck felt something for her? Or had she read into the whole situation? Would they have really kissed if Teaspoon hadn't walked in at that moment? Lou poked her head out of her door and listened, she didn't want to face anybody at the moment. She could hear Rachel in the kitchen preparing lunch, Theresa talking nonstop to her. She assumed Teaspoon and Jeremiah were helping Buck with the chores. Lou slipped out of her room, tiptoeing past the kitchen and went outside, Lou made her way to the barn, she wanted to go for a ride. She walked in and began saddling Lightning, so intent on her chore that she didn't realize she wasn't alone.

Buck had been up in the hayloft when Lou had come in the barn. He wasn't ready to face her just yet, thinking how close he had come to kissing her. He was beginning to doubt that Teaspoon was right that she had wanted to kiss him. He moved further into the shadows hoping she wouldn't see him, but where he could keep an eye on her. What was she up to? Buck was not happy when he saw her saddling Lightning. He quietly climbed down from the loft and moved closer to her. He crossed his arms over his chest when he was a just a couple of feet behind her. "What are you doing Louise?"

Lou jumped startled, her hand flying to her chest as she turned to find Buck trying to look menacing behind her, "I'm going for a ride."

"Lou … it's not safe." Buck told her, dropping his arms, no longer able to keep up the facade against her puppy dog eyes.

"Buck … I'll be careful, I promise. I … I just need to get out of here for a little bit." Lou told him, she looked like she felt trapped.

"Fine," Buck gave in, "But you're not riding alone."

"You going come with me?" Lou asked a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"No, I'm going to ride that horse with you so I know you won't do anything stupid." Buck informed her.

Lou stopped breathing for a second. Buck was going to be on the horse with her. He was going to have his arms around her or would she have her arms around him? A slow smirk spread across Lou's face. She could enjoy this. "Alright."

Buck wasn't sure he had made a smart move at the look on Lou's face. She looked positively mischievous. His heart was hammering in his chest, what had he just gotten himself into? He moved over to where Lou was standing and finished saddling up Lightning, once he was done, he laced his fingers together and knelt slightly so Lou could use his hands as a step giving her a boost onto the large horse. Buck swung himself up behind her, his arms going around her waist to grasp the reins. He walked Lightning slowly from the barn until they were away from the house.

Lou gave Lightning a little kick to get him to pick up the pace a bit, Buck loosen the reins, so they were in a slow trot. "Can't we go faster?" Lou asked.

"I don't think that would be wise. It could hurt the baby." Buck told her, his arm tightening around her waist, his hand resting against her baby bump. Lou sighed but relaxed against him, her back pressing into his chest, the back of her head against his shoulder. They rode for half an hour before Buck pulled the horse to a stop and sliding down from his back. He reached up and lifted Lou from the saddle, allowing her to slid down his body as he let her feet touch the ground. Once her feet were on the ground, he took a small step back to put space between them but took her hand in his as he began walking leading her somewhere.

"What are we doing Buck?" Lou asked, not that she really cared as long as she was with Buck.

Buck looked over at Lou and raised one finger to his mouth in a shushing motion. Lou closed her mouth her interest perking up. Buck began to crouch, Lou matching his movements as they neared the top of a small hill. At the top, Buck dropped down to his stomach, pulling Lou down carefully with him. Lou was looking at him, her eyes full of questions. Buck grinned a crooked little grin, as he pointed down towards the creek that ran just on the other side of the hill.

Lou gasped as she took in the sight, there was at least fifty head of wild horses grazing and drinking at the creek. "Their beautiful." Lou breathed out quietly.

"I thought about trying to catch some… but ..." Buck started.

"You'd break their spirits and you couldn't do it." Lou finished for him.

Buck smiled tenderly at Lou. She really understood him better than anybody else on earth. Only Ike could come close. He reached up and brushed a strand of hair that had escaped her small pony tail back behind her ear. The tips of his fingers just grazing the side of her face, leaving a trail of heat. Lou was trembling, her heart pounding as they laid there, side by side in the grass, just looking at each other. Lou slowly reached forward, her hand going to Buck's chest, her hand brushing his medicine pouch. Buck swallowed hard, sure she could feel how his heart was racing. Lou began to trail her fingers down his chest, stopping at the waist of his buckskin pants before working their way back up. Their eyes locked, Lou licking her lips.

She was teasing him. He was sure of it. She had to have figured out his feelings for her and she was just messing with him. No, Lou wouldn't be that cruel. She wouldn't toy with his emotions like that. Buck hesitated as he raised his hand towards Lou, should he touch her? Would she mind? He went for it, his hand on her neck, his fingers ghosting along her jaw. They moved closer, just mere inches separating them. Buck's fingers had worked into Lou's hair, her pony tail undone. His hand at the back of her head. Lou's hands clutching at the fabric of his vest pulling him closer. Buck looked at Lou's lips, he wanted to kiss her so bad.

Lou saw Buck's eyes focusing on her mouth. She saw the longing in his eyes. He wanted to kiss her. She knew he did. She moved a hand up to the back of his head, her fingers tangling in his hair as she pulled him closer. She wasn't going to let this opportunity pass them by, she wasn't going to go one more second with knowing what it felt like to kiss Buck. She could feel his breath against her mouth, her lips turning up into a smile. And then just when she thought she couldn't take the suspense another second, his mouth was on hers.

Oh, gods he was kissing Lou and she was letting him. Not just letting him she had pulled him to her. He smiled against her mouth, this… this was perfect. He pulled away, wanting to look at her face, wanting to see her eyes. Lou blinked her eyes open when his lips left hers, he was staring at her with such intensity. His eyes were full of pure happiness and … Love? Lou felt a smile blooming across her face, as she clutched Buck by the vest and pulled him back to her, her lips crashing against his heatedly. Buck moaned when, Lou's tongued teased his bottom lip. Buck rolled to his back, bringing Lou with him so that she was laying on top of him, their lips not separating. He ran his hands up and down her back, one hand slipping to her butt. His pants were becoming entirely too tight. They needed to stop this. He didn't want to stop this. But he had too, he wanted Lou, he wanted to be buried inside her, but he wanted it to mean something. He wanted it to be special. He didn't want it to just be because he was there and she was hormonal.

Buck gently pushed Lou until she was on her back and he was the one hovering over her. He broke their kiss, breathing heavily. His forehead pressed against hers, eyes shut. He needed a minute before he looked at her. He pulled away, so that he could see her whole face as he opened his eyes. Lou was blinking slowly, her lips swollen from their kiss. She looked stunning. He wanted to kiss her again. Lou smiled up at him. "Hell … that … that was incredible." she mumbled earning a small chuckle from Buck.

He reached down and brushed her hair from her face. "Yes, it was."

"Why'd you stop?" Lou asked, her voice husky.

Buck smiled sadly as he sat up, Lou raising herself up on her elbows to close some of the distance between them. "I didn't want us to get carried away and do something you might regret later."

Lou reached over, her hand on his arm. "I wouldn't have regretted it."

Bucked looked at her, really looked at her. She meant it. She would not have regretted being with him. "I … I want it to mean something though. For it to be special." he told her, his face flushing. He was bearing his soul to her. "Lou … I ..."

Lou pressed her fingers to Buck's mouth silencing him, "It would have meant everything to me. And it would have been special because it was with you."

Buck felt a tear slip from his eye, trailing a path down his cheek only for Lou to kiss it away. "I love you, Louise." he breathed before capturing her lips again.

** A/N: Thanks Shauna for the fast beta. Is it a little warm in anybody else's house? My heart is doing a happy little dance as I squeal in delight over this chapter. So glad my muse was being nice tonight lol. And to Cherri ... yes I remember that story. I don't remember what it was called but I do remember that scene. You should read my Old Friends and New Lives ... there's a pretty funny scene involving the she devil. Anyway let me know what y'all think about this chapter. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Lou woke, breathing heavy, her eyes flicking around her room. What the hell was that? Lou had never had a more intense dream. Her fingers going to her mouth half expecting to find them swollen from kisses, they weren't. "Damn," Lou muttered. Her hormones were going haywire, she groaned as she thought about Buck. God, she wished that had been real. That he really did love her. Lou stopped, why did she want Buck to love her? Yes, she realized she found him attractive, hell she even liked him, but love? Lou sat up and got up from her bed, it was midday at least, leaving her room she heard Rachel and Theresa preparing lunch, Jeremiah grumbling about having to set the table.

She walked out onto the porch, spotting Teaspoon coming from the barn whistling. Teaspoon, that's who she needed to talk to but she wanted to see Buck. Teaspoon walked up to her, "Have a nice nap Lou?"

Lou could feel her cheeks heating, "Yes."

Teaspoon chuckled, "Do I even want to know what you were dreaming about?"

Lou shook her head, her face bright red. There was no way she could tell Teaspoon that she had dreamed about kissing Buck, that she had dreamed he had told her he loved her. "Teaspoon I need a favor."

"Anything for you Lou, whatcha need?" Teaspoon asked as they moved to the porch swing.

"I need you to contact Sam… see if he could do some digging into that devil woman." Lou told him quietly.

"What ya thinking Lou?" Teaspoon asked, scratching his chin.

"I want to know why she's here, I dunno maybe find something that can make her leave." Lou said shrugging.

"There may not be anything to find Lou, what then?" Teaspoon asked kindly. He hated what had happened to Lou and Buck last night at the dance. He hated the pain they both had been in.

"I dunno… but she has to go… how could everybody just believe her! They've known me and Buck, how could they believe someone that just came to town over us?" Lou cried her voice breaking.

"I dunno sweetheart, I dunno." Teaspoon said his arm going around Lou's shoulders as she cried. "I'll contact Sam, maybe he'll find something… if not… well we'll figure out something."

"I'll talk to her," Buck said walking up onto the porch at that moment, "Maybe I can make her see reason?'

"NO!" Lou shouted a little too forcibly, causing Buck to step back in shock. "No … she'll just hurt you."

"Lou, honey, the only way she could hurt me is by hurting you." Buck informed her, as he kneeled in front of her, his hands on her knees. Teaspoon smiling between the two, seeing the love that they held for each other, that they were both too blind to see.

Lou covered Buck's hands with hers, "Please, Buck, just stay away from her."

Buck rose from his knees and kissed Lou on the top of her head, "I won't do anything stupid." he promised before moving away, leaving Teaspoon and Lou sitting there.

Lou watched him walk away from her, her eyes lingering on Buck's backside. Teaspoon smirked, a small chuckle escaping him. Lou blushed momentarily forgetting that Teaspoon was still sitting next to her. She had to get control of herself, but God Buck made it so hard. He had no idea the affect he had on her and she hoped he would never find out. She couldn't stand the thought of losing him because of her feelings. And she just knew if Buck knew she cared about him he would leave … just like everybody else. Lou sighed, a frown on her face.

Teaspoon patted Lou's knee, "You should tell him."

"Whatcha talking 'bout Teaspoon?" Lou asked playing dumb.

Teaspoon just arched an eyebrow at her, the corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. These two were idiots. He wasn't going to press the issue. It would come out eventually. "I'll go into town after lunch and wire Sam." He said as he stood and helped Lou to her feet.

After lunch, Teaspoon did as he said, Buck riding into town with him. He had promised he wouldn't do anything stupid but he couldn't just sit by and do nothing. He had to deal with Kathleen. "Son … you know Lou ain't gonna be happy." Teaspoon said to him as they approached the outskirts of town.

"She doesn't have to know." Buck answered looking over at Teaspoon.

"A woman always finds out the truth, always." Teaspoon stated with wiry grin.

"Always?" Buck asked, he mind automatically going to his feelings for Lou.

"Always." Teaspoon laughed knowing what Buck was thinking.

"Shit." Buck mumbled earning a laugh from the old man.

"I swear you two are going be the death of me. Just tell her how ya feel boy." Teaspoon griped, throwing his hand up in the air in frustration.

"You know I can't do that Teaspoon. She wouldn't want me. And I can't lose her." Buck said softly hanging his head.

"You really are an idiot, Buck. Open your eyes. Lou loves you, she's just scared." Teaspoon told him.

Buck looked at the older man, was he right? Did Lou return his feelings? Was she really just as scared as he was to reveal them? No, Teaspoon had to be mistaken. There was just no way that Lou could possibly feel about him the same way he did about her. Buck rode away from Teaspoon as they entered town, they both had their own missions. Buck rode up to the school house, not sure if she'd even be there on a Saturday afternoon. He didn't know where she lived so it was the only place he knew to look.

Kathleen sat behind her desk, grading school papers, when the door to the school house opened. She smiled when she saw Buck standing in her doorway. "Well my day just got a whole lot better." she purred as he drew near.

Buck sneered, his lip curling in disgust. "You owe Lou an apology." he stated once he had reached her desk, his arms crossed in front of him, glaring down at her.

Kathleen leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms above her, her dress straining against her ample bosom, drawing Buck's eyes to her chest. Her lips curving in a devilish smirk. She knew how to get a man's attention, even when they didn't want to give it to her. "Why should I?" She asked, her eyelashes batting against her cheeks.

"Because it's the right thing to do. You know damn well Lou ain't those things you said about her last night." Buck said through gritted teeth.

"And? Just because it's not true doesn't mean I didn't make everybody believe it. What does that say about what they think of you?" Kathleen sneered.

"Lou didn't deserve that! Whatever problem you have with me, why drag her into this?!" Buck shouted, his voice angry.

"Oh, Buck, my problem isn't with you darling." Kathleen simpered, standing, her hands running down the sides of her body.

"Then why?" Buck asked in defeat.

"She has you. And that is something I just can't allow." Kathleen purred dangerously as she moved to Buck, her fingers walking up Buck's chest.

Buck took a step back, his hand grabbing Kathleen's and removing it from his body. "She's not even mine… and you can't allow it? I'm not yours, Kathleen, for you to have any say in the matter."

"Oh, but she is Buck. Anybody can see it … why do you think it was so easy for the townsfolk to believe me last night. And you are most definitely mine Buck … you did take my innocence after all." Kathleen stated, looking hurt. "What would she think about that?"

"You played me once Kathleen, but I won't fall for that again. You were no innocent." Buck growled.

Kathleen just smirked, "Who do you think people will believe?"

"What do you want from me?!" Buck shouted, "What will it take for you to make things right for Lou?"

"What are you willing to do for her Buck?" Kathleen asked moving closer, her breast pressing against Buck's chest.

"Anything." Buck whispered.

Kathleen's eyes sparkled, her grin splitting her face, "That's all I needed to know." She purred seductively, as she reached up and kissed Buck on his lips.

This woman was pure evil, Buck thought as he realized she had trapped him. Kathleen wanted him. She had played him again. She had used his feelings for Lou to her benefit. "No!" He cried, pushing Kathleen away from him. "You won't do this again! I won't be your fool."

"Not even for Louise?" Kathleen asked as she tried to pull Buck back in for another kiss.

Buck hesitated, he would do anything for Lou but this? He couldn't do it. He wanted to protect Lou but he also wanted to be worthy of her, something he would never be if he did what Kathleen wanted. "No." he whispered pushing her away from him.

"You made a mistake Buck. I won't give you another chance. I'll ruin her life and yours." Kathleen threatened.

"So be it." Buck stated as he turned and walked away, leaving Kathleen staring after him, her body shaking in rage.

Buck had made a mistake, but not in turning Kathleen down, he made the mistake thinking he could get her to do the right thing. He made the mistake of thinking that Kathleen had a least some human decency. He made the mistake in thinking that Kathleen had only wanted to get at him. He made a mistake thinking Lou had only been an easy target. No Lou was the prime target because of him, because he loved her and Kathleen couldn't stand for anybody to have what she wanted and couldn't have. Things were only going to get worse, Buck was sure of it.

**A/N: I know, I know, I'm evil. Didn't want to rush things here, Lou is still trying to figure out her own feelings after all. Thanks Shauna for the fast beta. As always, thanks for all the reviews and support on this one. Let me know what you think, and please don't come after me with pitchforks for the trick.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Teaspoon sighed as he watched Buck ride towards the schoolhouse, he hoped Buck wasn't making a huge mistake trying to talk to that she-devil. He blamed himself for this whole mess, if he hadn't of stepped down from his marshal duties to help on the ranch full time, he'd have known the town had planned to hire that woman. He might have been able to stop her from even coming. He could have done something more at the dance last night, he didn't even have his gun on him. He should have already been digging into why she was here as soon as she showed up. Teaspoon only hoped that Sam would be able to find some dirt that they could use to run her out of town before she did anymore damage.

Walking into the telegraph office Teaspoon spotted the little man, "Morning Matt, need to send a telegram."

"Marshal… oh sorry I forgot I forgot you retired." Matt said shaking his head at his forgetfulness as he handed Teaspoon a slip of paper to write down the message. "I heard about the incident at the dance last night… tell them boys, well guess Lou ain't' a boy, anyway, tell them not everybody in town believes that woman."

"I'll be sure to pass the message on to them." Teaspoon said, glad at least there were a few in town that didn't believe the worst of Lou and Buck. "This needs to go to Marshal Sam Cain in Omaha."

The little man scanned the simple message quickly, the corners of his lips turning up in a smirk. "Hope he can find out something."

"Me too." Teaspoon said paying the man.

Walking out he looked over towards the schoolhouse seeing the door left wide open, glad that Buck had the sense to try and protect himself from any inappropriate things that Kathleen might try to say he committed. Teaspoon did not put it past her in one bit to pull something. He made his way towards the schoolhouse only for Tompkins to stop him.

"Teaspoon, how's Lou and Buck holding up this morning?" Tompkins asked, he had been real worried about Lou. She had been so upset last night, and with her being with child, he just shook his head trying to clear it.

"Bout as well as to be expected. Lou is well being Lou and using her head to think of a way to get rid of that woman and Buck he's being Buck and only thinking with his heart wanting to protect Lou." Teaspoon offered up, pointing to where Buck's horse was tied out in front of the schoolhouse.

Tompkins shook his head, "Ain't no use him trying to talk to her, that woman ain't got a heart."

Teaspoon nodded his head in agreement, "Thank you by the way, for doing what I couldn't last night."

"I heard the ruckus, couldn't let them do that to that girl… Teaspoon … did uh did Kid know?" Tompkins asked thinking about Lou's situation.

"No, he didn't know she was carrying his baby." Teaspoon told him.

"Well there's that… still think he's pretty low leaving her like that, but at least he's not as low as that." Tompkins said, scathing his chin looking towards the schoolhouse. "You know he's been in there awhile… maybe we should check on him. I don't trust that woman."

"Agreed." Teaspoon said as they both walked towards the schoolhouse.

They could hear Buck's raised voice shouting "What do want from me? What will it take to make things right for Lou?"

They couldn't hear Kathleen's response, but they could see her move closer to Buck. They saw her kiss him, they saw him push her away. They saw him turn his back to her and start towards the door. They heard her when she said, "You made a mistake Buck. I won't give you another chance. I'll ruin her life and yours."

Buck walked out of the schoolhouse, his face a mask of rage, he looked up as he about ran into Teaspoon and Tompkins shaking his head. Teaspoon reached out and squeezed his shoulder, Kathleen's scream filled the air. They turned as she rushed from the schoolhouse, the sleeve of her dressed ripped, her hair all messed up. She stopped short when she saw the former lawman and the store keeper standing there with Buck. She hadn't planned on anybody being that close. Maybe, it would still work, she thought quickly.

"Marshal! Thank God you're here! That breed just attacked me!" she cried, holding her stomach like she had been injured as she limped up to Teaspoon.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Buck said in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air as he turned his back to her pacing away and back again.

"I ain't the marshal no more, but I damn sure know that Buck did no such thing!" Teaspoon hollered at her.

Kathleen turned her eyes to Tompkins, "Please, you have to help me! He … he … took me against my will." She cried clinging to the shopkeeper.

Tompkins put his hands on her arms and pushed her away, "Lady we were right here, we heard and saw everything. Buck didn't touch you."

Kathleen took a step back, her eyes flashing in anger, she looked unhinged. "You'll all pay for this." She seethed before racing away, leaving the three men standing there watching after her.

"That woman is dangerous." Tompkins said a few moments later.

"If we hadn't been here..." Teaspoon started unable to finish that sentence as he looked at Buck.

Buck swallowed hard thinking how things could have gone really bad for him, "I'm an idiot. I should have listened to Lou."

"Ain't gonna argue with you there." Teaspoon agreed.

"Buck, you need to be careful. Probably be for the best if you stay out of town for awhile." Tompkins told him, his eyes still on the woman retreating to her room in the boardinghouse. "I'll try and keep an eye on her, and put a stop to anything she might try to say against you."

"Thank you, Tompkins." Buck said gratefully.

"Come on son, we best get home, the ladies will start to worry." Teaspoon, said after shaking Tompkins hand.

The two men quickly mounted their horses and rode out of Rock Creek back towards home. Buck wanted to put as much distance between him and that she-devil as possible. He had been so stupid. He should have known Kathleen would have tried something so underhanded. How had he ever thought he had loved her? How had he thought she was beautiful?

As soon as the two men rode into the yard, Lou was off the porch and moving towards them. She could see by the look on Buck's face things had not gone well in town. Buck saw her coming, a look of worry on her face, he tried to smile for her. Quickly dismounting in front of Lou, he drew her into a tight hug, his arms holding her against his chest. Lou pulled back to look at him, "You alright Buck?"

"I'm sorry, honey, I tried to make her see reason." Buck whispered.

"Buck you promised you wouldn't do anything stupid." Lou said looking hurt.

"I'm an idiot … if Teaspoon and Tompkins hadn't been there." Buck started but stopped shuddering pulling Lou back into a tight hug, he needed her.

"What happened?" Lou asked.

"She tried to accuse Buck of attacking her … if we hadn't been there, hadn't see everything… it would have been bad." Teaspoon told her.

Lou's eyes went wide, "That Bitch! Buck you have to stay as far from her as you can."

"I aim to stay out of town for awhile… let things cool down." Buck said.

"That probably be for the best. I don't want you getting hurt cause that woman." Lou said quietly, she was trembling with pent up rage and something else … she was terrified. Terrified of what could have happened to Buck. If Teaspoon and Tompkins hadn't been there… Buck … they would have strung him up without a trial.

Buck looked at Lou watching varying emotions play across her face, tears began to fill her eyes. "Louise? Are you alright?" He asked quietly, taking her by the elbow as he led her away from Teaspoon, he wanted a minute alone with the little woman.

"I … you … Buck you could have been killed! If they hadn't been there … if they hadn't seen… God, Buck … I don't know what I do without you." Lou cried before throwing her arms his neck and holding him tightly to her. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him, even if he was not hers to lose. Louise didn't know when or how it had happened but she had fallen in love with the Kiowa rider. The thought of what could have happened today made it abundantly clear to her, she was absolutely head over heels in love with Buck. And she was also absolutely sure she could never tell him.

Buck was surprised by how tightly Lou was clinging to him, by how her shoulders shook with her cries. He had never had someone cry over him like this before. He held her close, his hand stroking her hair, the other holding her close, "Shh, honey, it's alright. I'm safe. I promise, you ain't getting rid of me anytime soon." God, how he loved this woman. He had to tell her. He couldn't tell her. Buck closed his eyes, just enjoying holding her while he could. He knew she'd pull away all too soon.

Later that evening, as the small family was gathered in the parlor. Teaspoon having told Rachel about the incident in town earlier while Buck and Lou had clung to each other, Buck sat on the couch reading. Rachel was sewing near the fire. Teaspoon was telling Jeremiah stories. Theresa sat on the floor playing with her doll. Lou came in a bowl of popcorn in her hands for the children. She sat in on the small table before going to sit next to Buck. She settled down next to him, sitting with her legs curled up beside her, her head resting on Buck's shoulder as he read softly to her. Buck's arm around her shoulder pulling her closer to him, his hand resting on her baby bump, seemingly unaware that he had even done it.

"Why do you do that?" Theresa asked from her position on the floor, around a mouthful of popcorn.

"Don't talk with food in your mouth Resa." Lou admonished, looking over at her sister, "And do what?"

"Not you Buck." Theresa said after she swallowed her popcorn.

Buck arched an eyebrow at her in question, "Do what?"

"Why do you always put your hand on Louise's belly?" Theresa asked causing everybody to look over at them, to Buck's hand on Lou's bump.

Buck looked down to where his hand rested, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment as he removed it, "I didn't realized I was even doing it."

Theresa looked at him and then at Lou and then back at Buck, "How could you not know you were touching her?"

"I don't know … I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable Lou." Buck said softly, shifting so he wasn't touching her anymore.

Lou glared at Theresa, she hadn't realized that Buck was always touching her baby belly either. But now that she did, she didn't want him to stop, "It's alright Buck … I … kinda liked it." Lou said quietly earning a chuckle from Rachel, who quickly bit her lip to silence herself.

"Really? I really didn't even realize I was doing it." Buck replied, surprised that she liked him touching her.

"Yeah, I dunno it makes me feel special I guess." Lou told him, her face blushing to admit that in front of the whole family.

Buck smiled as he resumed his previous position, pulling Lou back against his side, his hand going back to her belly, lightly stroking it. "You are special." He whispered against the top of her head as he kissed it.

Rachel and Teaspoon smiled at each other over the exchange between the two. Jeremiah just rolled his eyes, thinking those two were hopeless. Theresa just looked back and forth between the two of them, her question still not having been answered. "No really why do you always touch Lou's belly? Are you trying to feel the baby move?"

Buck looked over at the little girl and smiled, "Maybe I am."

Lou smiled against his shoulder, Buck had no idea what just being himself did to her. Her heart thumping loudly in her chest only for it to stop the next second when Theresa opened her mouth again.

"Are you going marry Louise and be the baby's pa?" Theresa asked in childlike innocent.

"THERESA!" Lou exclaimed through clenched teeth, her face bright red.

Buck's own face matching Lou's, his eyes wide in panic, he looked back and forth between Teaspoon and Rachel begging for help, they both just grinned. "Umm … that's uh.." Buck started not knowing how to answer the girl.

"Of, course he is, stupid," Jeremiah stated then, "He loves her."

Buck closed his eyes, his heart stopping. He'd been outed by a thirteen, year old. He slumped back against the couch, his hands going to his face, dragging them down. There would be no way to get out of this one.

Lou's heart skipped a beat at Jeremiah's words. Could that really be true? She turned to Buck as he dragged his hands down his face, their eyes meeting. Lou could see it, she could see that Jeremiah was right. Buck loved her. "Buck?" Lou asked, her eyes full of hope.

Buck sat forward, rubbing the back of his neck, looking around at his family. Teaspoon nodded his head toward Lou, in what was very plainly a tell her you idiot look on his face. Rachel's eyes telling him do the same. "Lou … I …," Buck sighed, she would never want him. He would have to leave after this. "I'm sorry … I wasn't going to tell you. I know you don't feel the same." he said quietly wishing for all the world that earth would open up right then and swallow him.

"You really love me?" She asked in a small voice.

Buck looked at her, her face a mask to him. "Yes … I love you Louise."

He wasn't sure what he was seeing as Lou's eyes filled with tears, a smile began twitching at the corner of her lips. Was she trying to not to laugh at him? Buck felt like running away, but Lou's hand on his cheek stopped him, he looked at her, she was smiling as she leaned closer to him. Buck felt his eyebrows knitting together, what was she doing? A second later her lips were pressed to his. Buck was too shocked to even kiss her back. She pulled back and looked at him, "I love you too."

"Really?"He asked, his voice creaking.

"Really." She whispered just before his mouth claimed hers heatedly. Neither of them aware of their family leaving the room to give them privacy.

Lou's hands were in Buck's hair, he had one on the back of her head, the other on her back pulling her to him. Buck's tongue ran along Lou's bottom lip, begging for entrance, Lou opened up to him, her tongue meeting his in a battle for dominance. This was so much better than her dream. They broke apart breathing hard. Looking around they realized they were alone. Lou smiled up at him, their foreheads pressed together, when she felt something. She took Buck's hand in hers and placed it on her stomach. Buck looked at her and then down at his hand, his eyes shooting to hers in wonderment. "It kicked!"

"Yes, it did." Lou replied laughing, her smiled slipped from her face, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

Buck didn't miss her change in demeanor, "What's wrong honey?"

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

"For what?" Buck asked, had she changed her mind about him?

"I'm sorry that I didn't realize sooner … that I married Kid … that this baby isn't yours." She said softly crying.

"Lou, honey, I may not have fathered the child you're carrying … but the baby is mine." Buck confessed.

"You're too good to me Buck." Lou whispered.

"I love you." Buck said, as if it should be a given that he, treat her good.

Lou reached up and claimed Buck's mouth with hers again. She didn't deserve this wonderful man, but she sure as hell wasn't giving him up.

The rest of their family had retreated to the kitchen where Rachel was giving them all a piece of cake. Teaspoon sat next to Jeremiah his arm slung around his shoulder, "Son you are a genius."

Jeremiah grinned up at the older man, "They were driving me crazy. Knew neither one would ever admit how they felt about each other without a little push."

Theresa grinned, "Are they going to get married now?"

Rachel looked at Teaspoon worried. Could they even get married? True Kid had told her he released her but did that really free her from her marriage? Teaspoon just looked back and shrugged. "I'm sure when the time is right, they will." Teaspoon offered.

He knew even if they were never able to have a legally binding marriage that they would be married, even if it was just them saying they chose the other. It worked for years before, Teaspoon thought.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Buck didn't know how long they had been holding each other. The house was quiet, the fire had burned down low. The rest of the family had long since gone to bed. He still couldn't believe that Lou loved him. He looked down at the woman resting against his chest, her eyes were closed, her breathing even. Buck brushed a strand of hair that had escaped Lou's pony tail back behind her ear. "You're so beautiful." He whispered, thinking Lou had fallen asleep and not wanting to wake her. "I so want to make you mine."

Lou's lips curled up in a devilish smirk, "Do you now?" she asked saucily, her eyes opening to look at his face, a blush stealing across his cheeks.

"I thought you were asleep." Buck admitted embarrassed for being so forward.

"So, you don't want to claim me then?" Lou teased, her hands rubbing Buck's thighs as she rested between them.

Buck groaned, his pants beginning to feel just a little too tight. Lou smirked as she could feel Buck's hardness pressing into her back, "I take that as a yes." she giggled as she twisted her body so that she was now straddling him, her skirts riding up her legs, exposing creaming flesh. Her core pressing against Buck, she rubbed herself against the bulge in Buck's pants.

"Lou," Buck breathed out, his voice sounding strained, his hands on her hips, holding her in place. "Please… I won't be able to control myself if you keep that up."

"What if I don't want you too?" Lou asked as she ground her hips against Buck, causing him to whimper.

"Lou .. we can't … not here… one of the children could walk in." Buck reasoned with her as she began kissing and nibbling on his jaw and neck. "God, Lou..." Buck groaned when she dragged her fingernails down the front of his shirt. His hands going to the exposed skin of her legs, she was so soft.

Buck dragged his nails up Lou's thighs, pushing her skirts higher. God, she wasn't wearing any bloomers, Buck's mind sputtered, all reasoning leaving him as his fingers brushed up against her naked backside. He was so hard it was painful, he wanted to be buried inside her hot wet center. Buck's fingers dug into the tender flesh of her hips as he rocked his hips up, his hardness rubbing against her.

Lou moaned out loud, she was positively dripping in want. It had never been like this before. She had never desired anyone this much. Buck rocked his hips up again, her whole body tingled with pleasure from just this small bit of contact. She needed more. Lou's fingers desperately began unbuttoning Buck's shirt, she needed to feel his skin. She was struggling, Buck's hands pushed her clumsy ones aside, his fingers making quick work of the buttons. Lou pulled his shirt free from his buckskin pants, pushing it open to expose his defined chest. She licked her lips as she drank in the sight of him.

Buck thought he had died and gone to heaven when Lou leaned forward, her mouth trailing kisses from his neck to his nipples. He felt her teeth graze his skin, nibbling on the sensitive flesh. He felt her fingers trailing lower down his stomach until they stopped at the waist band of his pants. She felt him through his pants, and smirked when his breathing hitched, his eyes closing as his head fell back against the cushion of the couch. "Lou …" Buck breathed his voice husky, "I need to be buried inside of you." he told her his eyes locking with hers. Eyes full of want and desire. Full of longing and love.

Lou leaned forward and captured his mouth with hers in a brief kiss before she slid off his lap and stood, Buck immediately missing her heat, her closeness. She reached down and grabbed Buck's hand, pulling him from the couch. She started walking towards the bedrooms, pulling him along with her.

"Lou what are you doing?" Buck asked. Lou just turned her head to look at him, a finger over her lips in a shushing motion.

They tiptoed quietly down the hall to the room that was furthest away from the children's rooms. Lou opened the door to Buck's room pulling him inside as she quietly shut the door behind them. As soon as the door was closed, Buck had her pinned against it, his hands on either side of her head, as his lips attacked her jaw and neck. Lou's hands went to Buck's shirt as she pushed it from his shoulders, Buck lowering his hands only long enough for her to get it off.

Buck had his body pressed against her, she was still pinned to the door. One hand was by her face, the other on her chest. She needed more, she wanted to feel his skin against her own. She pushed Buck back a little, a look of hurt flashing across his face thinking she had changed her mind, she winked at him as she turned her back to him, looking over her shoulder she said, "Help me out of this dress."

"Gladly." Buck whispered, his fingers going to the small clasps holding the back of her dress shut. His lips on her skin as it became exposed to him. Buck arched an eyebrow, a lopsided smirk on his face as more and more skin was exposed… Lou didn't have on any undergarments. Buck had enough of the dress undone that he could see the top part of Lou's ass, his fingers slipped inside the fabric and squeezed her ass cheek. Before he spun her around to be facing him. He wanted to see her body as the dress dropped to the ground.

Lou locked eyes with Buck as his hands pushed the dress from her shoulders, allowing it to slowly fall down her body exposing her skin an inch at a time. Buck's eyes were hooded as he took in the sight before him, his breathing labored. Lou stood before him completely bare. With trembling hands, he reached for her, his fingers grazing the sides of her breasts as he grabbed her upper arms, his mouth crashing against hers. Lou moaned against Buck's mouth, as his tongue delved into her hot mouth. His thumbs brushing against her nipples. She rubbed her legs together, her core was aching with need.

Lou pushed against Buck with her body, forcing him to back up. She kept pushing until his legs hit the sides of his bed, forcing him to sit as he broke the kiss. Lou stood in between his legs, his hands on her hips as she stood before him. His eyes drinking in the sight of her. "You've too many clothes on." Lou stated with a grin as she pushed him onto his back, her hands going to the ties of his pants. Buck immediately felt some relief as his pants loosened, his painful erection finally being freed as Lou tugged his pants and long john bottoms off. She looked down on him, her eyes taking him in. Her tongue slipped out of her mouth, licking her lips, her bottom lip in between her teeth. She swallowed hard taking in his size, "Buck … you're … huge." Lou gasped out.

Buck looked up and smirked, "Just imagine what it's going to feel like inside you."

Lou whimpered in need. She crawled up Buck's body, straddling him, she sat on his lower stomach, his erection rubbing her backside. Buck's hands moved up her thighs, his fingers gently caressing her tender skin. "Touch me please Buck." Lou whispered.

"I am touching you Lou." Buck teased.

"Please Buck, I need you to touch me." Lou begged.

He smirked up at her, as his fingers dipped inside her folds. His thumb brushing against that little bundle of nerves, earning Buck a deep moan from Lou. "There Lou?" Buck asked as he brushed that little nub again.

Lou couldn't speak only nodded her head, as Buck moved his fingers in and out of her, rubbing faster on her bundle of nerves. Her breathes were coming in fast pants. Buck shifted until he was hovering over her, changing the angle as he continued to thrust his fingers into her. "oh God … oh God." Lou breathed out, as she could feel her climax building. Buck lowered his mouth to her breast, sucking a nipple in between his teeth biting down gently. He could feel Lou's walls tightening around his fingers, as she threw her head back against the pillow, her eyes squeezing shut, as she crashed over the edge.

Buck pulled his fingers slowly from her, as she came down from her high, her eyes opening as she looked up at Buck, he brought his fingers to his mouth, and sucked her juices from them slowly. "Make love to me Buck… I need to feel you inside me." Lou breathed out.

He shifted until he was hovering completely over her, his manhood pressing against her warm core. His eyes met hers, "Are you sure Lou? I can stop if you're not ready."

"Don't you dare." Lou told him, a wide smile on her face.

Buck leaned forward and captured Lou's mouth quickly in a heated kiss, pulling back so he could watch her face, "I love you." He said as he pushed into her warmth. He almost came right then and there, she was so tight, so hot and wet.

"God, Lou, you feel incredible." He moaned out, his whole body, trembling in the effort to not lose it right there.

Lou moaned in pleasure, she had never felt so stretched, so full. She rocked her hips gently against Buck, they both shuddered. Buck pulled back a little, and then pushed in even further inside Lou until he was completely buried in her. He moved in a slow and torturous rhythm, trying to make it last as long as possible. She was just so tight. He tilted his hips up, hitting a spot inside Lou that made her gasp, "Oh, there Buck. Right there."

Buck hit the spot again, and again. "Harder." Lou begged, her nails digging into his back so hard he was sure he would be covered in scratches in the morning. His mouth nibbled on her neck and shoulder as he thrust harder into her. He could feel a tightening in his belly, he was so close. He didn't think he would last much longer. He reached between them, his fingers rubbing that bundle of nerves. Lou's walls began tightening around him, she sank her teeth into his shoulder to silence her scream as her climax hit her hard. Buck was lost right along with her, spilling his hot seed deep inside her.

He collapsed on top of her, only to feel her bump, he quickly rolled to his side, pulling her with him so he didn't have to leave her heat just yet. Buck reached forward, his fingers brushing the side of her face, tucking her hair back behind her ear. "I never imagined… I would have you like this." Buck said softly, tears in his eyes.

Lou touched his face, her fingers combing through his hair to push it back out of his face, "That was … that was incredible… I never knew it could be like that."

"What do you mean?" Buck asked, his hands trailing down her sides and back, he just couldn't quit touching her skin.

"That it could feel so good… I never … you know… before." Lou admitted blushing.

"You never climaxed before?" Buck asked pulling back slightly to look at her face. Was she being serious?

"No … I didn't know I was supposed to." Lou told him, biting her lower lip.

Buck gently freed it from her teeth with his thumb, "I'll always make sure that you enjoy our love making as much as I do honey. And if you don't then I'm doing something wrong and I'm failing you."

Lou smiled, leaning forward she pressed her mouth to his, her tongue rubbing along his bottom lip, until he opened up to her. He allowed her to take the lead, to explore. He could feel himself harden again while still inside her. Lou pulled back, smirking as she pushed him to his back straddling him, somehow never letting him slip out of her. With a hand on Buck's chest to help her keep her balance, she began riding him.

Buck thrusting his hips up in time with her movements, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips as he helped her keep the rhythm. Lou's movement were becoming frantic, her breathing coming in fast pants. "Oh, Lou… I can't…honey..." Buck panted he was so close. Lou wailed as her walls clinched around Buck, she saw stars. "Lou!" Buck called out as his own climax was milked from him by Lou's pulsating walls.

Lou collapsed on top of Buck breathing hard, a giggle slipping out. "I hope we didn't wake anyone."

Buck groaned, "I'll never live it down if Teaspoon heard us."

Lou just giggled again, as she slipped off of Buck, stretching out beside him, her naked body pressed into his side. Buck sighed at the loss of her warmth, but was content when she laid her head on his shoulder, her hand resting on Buck's chest over his pounding heart. Buck pulled a blanket up over them, before covering Lou's hand with his own, his other arm around her shoulders holder her close to him, he kissed the top of her head. "I love you Louise."

Lou pressed a kiss to Buck's chest and sighed happily, "I love you too Buck."

It wasn't long before the two drifted off to sleep in each others arms.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the fast beta on this chapter. It's like really warm in my house right now... anybody else? I hope all you lovely ladies like this chapter. I for one am very curious to see what happens come morning lol. Rosie.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The next morning dawned bright and clear, but Buck and Lou were unaware of it, sleeping soundly in each other's arms. It wasn't until the children woke and could be heard running around outside doing morning chores before breakfast that they awoke. Buck opened his eyes to find Lou in his arms, her eyes on his bare skin, "I thought I must have dreamed last night." he whispered pulling her against him, kissing the top of Lou's head.

Lou giggled, "You definitely didn't dream it, those scratches and bite marks are proof enough."

Buck pulled back from her slightly trying to see the marks on his skin without a mirror. He looked at Lou and groaned, "Lou … you're gonna kill me."

"What? Why?" Lou asked, her forehead wrinkling.

"Let's just say I left my own marks on you." Buck told her with a lopsided smirk on his face.

Lou rolled over and got out of bed, padding on bare feet and naked to stand in front of Buck's mirror. Buck happily watching her naked body, before he moved to join her, pulling her against his chest as they looked at themselves in the mirror. Buck could see the scratches all on his chest and shoulders, he was sure his back was probably worse judging by how it was stinging. And there on his right shoulder was a huge bite mark.

Lou groaned as she took in the multiple bruises along her neck and shoulder. "How in the hell am I gonna explain this?!" She cried gesturing to her neck.

"Sorry" Buck said grinning sheepishly, really not sorry at all. "Come on we better get dressed before Teaspoon or Rachel come looking for us."

"You're right." Lou agreed, walking over to pick up her dress and petticoat from where it still laid in a heap on the floor.

Buck pulled on his long john bottoms and pants before going over to Lou to help her with the closures on her dress. His fingers trailing up her skin as he clasped each one together. Lou turned in his arms, his shirt in her hands. Buck took it from her, pulling it on over his shoulders, Lou buttoning it for him. He tucked his shirt into his pants, then pulled his vest on over his shirt. "Lou where is my medicine pouch?" Buck asked looking for it, he didn't really remember taking it off last night, but it wasn't around his neck.

Lou looked around and found it on the floor next to the bed, "Here it is Buck… how did it get on the floor?"

"I don't know. I don't remember taking it off." Buck said, as he took it from her and put it back around his neck where it belonged.

Buck pulled Lou into his arms and kissed her soundly, "You ready to go face the music?"

"As long as you're with me I can face anything." Lou told him.

Together hand in hand they slipped from Buck's bedroom, to join the rest of their family, who were just sitting down to breakfast. They quickly joined them at the table, Lou doing her best to hide the love marks on her neck.

"Morning sleepyheads, did you have a good night?" Teaspoon asked, his lips curling into a snarky smile, his eyes full of laughter. They both blushed as they sat down, with a murmured yes.

"Did you have a bad dream Louise, I thought I heard you scream?" Teresa asked innocently causing Buck to almost choke on the biscuit he had just taken a bite out of. And for Teaspoon to spit out the mouthful of water he had just taken, and doubled over in laughter.

Teresa just looked confused, as Lou turned bright red. "Of, course she did dummy, why else would she be in sleeping in Buck's room this morning." Jeremiah offered.

"Yeah she must have been having a terrible nightmare… I kept hearing her toss and turn." Rachel added, winking at the two lovers.

Lou thought she was going to die from embarrassment, Buck however could see the humor in the situation and was trying his best not to start laughing, when Teresa noticed the marks on Lou's neck, "Louise! What happened to you neck?" She cried, causing all eyes to focus on the love marks Buck had left.

"Geez Buck, I didn't think you were the type to hit my sister." Jeremiah said, trying to glare at Buck, but the corners of his mouth were twitching.

"I didn't hit her!" Buck exclaimed in surprise at the suggestion completely missing the fact that Jeremiah was teasing him.

"Then what happened to her neck?" Teresa asked, looking very concerned.

"Don't you worrying about it Resa." Lou told her, "Just eat your breakfast."

Rachel and Teaspoon were doing all they could not to laugh, Lou and Buck just looked so embarrassed. "If you kids are done eating, go on outside and start mucking the barn." Teaspoon told the children.

"Do we have to?" Teresa whined.

"Yes, now git on out there. I'll be along soon to give ya a hand." Teaspoon told them.

As soon as the little ones were out of earshot, the adults turned to look at the two lovers. "I'm just gonna say this once…" Teaspoon started, staring at them, both of them shrinking in on themselves, ready for a tongue lashing. "Next time, can ya keep it down a little more." he said chuckling.

"Sorry." Lou mumbled, her cheeks red as a tomato.

"Yes sir." Buck whispered.

"Louise, Buck … I am truly happy for you. I really am. I'm just concerned. Lou, you're still technically married to the Kid… you even have your wedding ring on. You two can't marry, legally. You already face so much hate in town, they already think horrible things about you." Rachel told them.

"Rach …" Buck started, "I love Lou. I may not be able to marry her in the eyes of the white man, but I can in the eyes of the Kiowa, when the time is right."

Lou was looking down at her hand to the ring that was still there, why did she even still have it on. Lou pulled the ring off her finger, and placed it in the center of the table. "Kid freed me from our marriage and I choose to love Buck and to be with him. What can we do?"

Teaspoon leaned back in his chair, scratching his whiskered chin, "Well now… I reckon I can talk to the territorial judge, and see if he'll sign divorce papers for you."

"Can they do that without the Kid?" Buck asked.

"I don't honestly know, but worth a try. If that's what Lou wants… townsfolk might not take to kindly to a divorced woman."

"They don't take to kindly to me anyway." Lou muttered. "Contact him Teaspoon. I need to be able to move on with my life completely."

"In the, meantime…" Rachel said,

"I know, no more bunking together." Buck said softly interrupting.

"Actually, I was going to suggest you move Lou's things into your room." Rachel told the young couple with a grin.

"What? You two wouldn't disapprove?" Buck asked shocked.

"Honey, as far as I'm concerned, you two belong together and I'm certain that if you could, you'd marry Lou right now." Rachel told Buck, patting his hand.

"Alright, we got lot of work to do today, best be getting to it." Teaspoon said as he pushed back from the table, getting to his feet.

Teaspoon and Buck left the kitchen leaving Lou sitting at the table with Rachel finishing her breakfast. "Rach, can I ask you something?" Lou asked her, a pink tinge to her cheeks.

"Sure honey." Rachel said as she began cleaning up.

Lou bit her bottom lip, unsure how to bring this up, "Am I … a bad woman?"

"A bad woman? What do you mean sweetheart?" Rachel asked, turning to look at her.

"Last night when me and Buck were … dancing… I … umm … well you know." Lou stammered out.

"You what … enjoyed it?" Rachel asked, her voice holding a teasing tone.

"Yes… a lot… does that make me a loose woman?" Lou asked, her face very concerned.

Rachel walked over to Lou, sitting beside her, her hands covering the young woman's, "Sweetheart, have you never felt like you did last night before?"

Lou shook her head no, unable to answer or look Rachel in the eyes. "Oh, honey, it's completely normal to experience pleasure from 'dancing'. The fact that you didn't with Kid says a lot about your relationship with him."

"So, I'm not a bad person?" Lou said, her eyes full of hope.

"Not at all honey. There's not a damn thing wrong with enjoying yourself with the man you love." Rachel told her, with a little laugh.

Lou grinned up at the older woman, "Thanks Rach."

"So, you wanna give me details?" Rachel teased, causing Lou to blush bright red.

"It was incredible … oh my God Rachel … I never knew it could feel so good." Lou admitted.

Rachel laughed, "Oh I know, I could hear just how good it was."

"Were we really that loud?" Lou asked embarrassed.

"Not terribly, just the walls are thin, and Buck's room is right next to ours." Rachel told the embarrassed girl.

"Do you think we should take my room then?" Lou asked.

"No cause then you'd be right next to Jeremiah." Rachel said, "You know what you could do, put Jeremiah in Buck's room, have Buck move into your room, that would leave an empty room between your room and Teresa's. When the baby comes it could be used as a nursery."

"That's a great idea Rach, I'll talk to Buck about it." Lou said as she stood, taking her plate to the sink. "I best go help with the chores."

"Don't work too hard Lou!" Rachel called as the young woman left the kitchen.

Rachel watched Lou from the window as she walked across the yard towards where Buck was shoeing one of the horses. Buck stopped what he was doing, reaching for her once she got close enough to kiss her softly. Rachel gave a happy little sigh for her young family members as she turned back to her own chores.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

That afternoon, Buck and Lou began moving his things into her room and to move Jeremiah into Buck's old room. Buck had just carried in a box of his things and sat them down on the bed. He took the book he was currently reading and went to put it on the bedside table. The drawer was slightly opened, catching Buck's interest. He knew he shouldn't snoop, but his curiosity got the better of him as he pulled it open more to find Kid and Lou's wedding rings. Ah, so that's why it was open, Lou had dropped her ring into the drawer. Buck didn't know what in the world possessed him as he picked up Kid's wedding band and slipped it onto his finger. He looked down at it, it just felt wrong. He was in the middle of pulling it off when Lou walked in and caught him, "What are you doing Buck?"

Buck felt his face flush, "I … I just wanted to see what it felt like."

Lou walked over to Buck, her hand going to his face, "Keep it… it should have been yours in the first place."

Buck smirked and shook his head, "No … Lou, I want to marry you and I want the whole world to know you are mine, but this ring … it was Kid's symbol to the world. It just feels wrong."

Lou reached into her drawer and picked up her wedding ring, Buck eyes watching her every movement. "Come with me." She said as she took Buck's hand in hers leading him from the room.

"Where are we going?" Buck asked.

Lou just turned her face to him and grinned. They walked hand in hand away from the house towards the creek. The wind was bitterly cold, causing Lou to shiver. Buck put his arm around her shoulders trying to warm her, neither of them thought to put on their heavy coats before leaving the house. "Lou maybe we should head back to the house, it's too cold out here. I wouldn't want you to get sick." Buck suggested.

"We're almost there." Lou pointed out as they topped the hill, the creek just on the other side.

"What are we doing?" Buck questioned her as she pulled him toward the bank.

The creek was almost frozen over except for the very center, Lou reached into her pocket and took out her ring. "Give me Kid's ring, Buck." she told him holding her hand out for it.

Buck looked down at his hand where Kid's ring sat in his palm and passed it over, his brows drawn together in confusion. Lou took the two rings, looking at them briefly. "I don't belong to you anymore Kid." She whispered before she threw them both into the moving water.

Lou turned to Buck, a smile on her face. She took both of his hands in hers. "I choose you Buck Cross. Now and always. I may not be able to marry you yet, but know that I consider you my husband."

Buck felt his eyes filling with tears as he looked at this incredible woman before him. This woman who was pledging herself to him. "And I choose you Louise McCloud. It's always been you and always will be. And I promise that I will marry you, if not in the eyes of the law, I will in the Kiowa way. I will send for Red Bear come spring, but you are already my wife in my eyes."

They smiled at each other before Buck pulled Lou against his chest, his arms going around her back as he lowered his mouth to hers to seal his promise. They broke apart shivering. "We need to get back home, before we freeze to death." Buck said hugging Lou tightly to his body, she nodded in agreement.

By the time they reached home, it had begun to snow. Rachel chided them for being out in the freezing temperatures without a proper coat as she made a pot of coffee to warm them and sat them in front of the fire, a blanket around their shoulders as they cuddled together. But Lou didn't care, she had never felt freer than she did at that moment. She had let go of the past, she had let go of the hurt that Kid had caused her, she had chosen Buck. She had decided to move forward with her life, with Buck by her side. He was hers and she was his and when they could they would let the whole world know it. Until then, she was content with just her family knowing.

The next morning Teaspoon rode into town to send a wire to the territorial judge. "Mornin' Matt." Teaspoon said as he entered the telegraph office.

"Mornin' Teaspoon. I was just fixin' to send someone out to your ranch. This just came in over the wire from Marshal Cain." Matt said as he handed the telegram to Teaspoon.

Teaspoon scanned the short missive quickly before putting it into his pocket. "Thanks Matt. I need to send two wires."

Matt handed him a couple of pieces of paper to write down the messages on, the first was to Sam, the second to the judge. The little man scanned the contents of the second message, his brows shooting up. "She aims to divorce him?"

"She just wants to be free legally. Kid told her he released her from the marriage, but I don't know if that would hold up in the law. Keep this to yourself." Teaspoon explained.

"You know I'm bound to keep all wires confidential… Can I ask something though?" Matt said as he pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at Teaspoon.

"You can ask, don't mean I'll answer." Teaspoon told him.

"Is Lou wanting the divorce so she can marry Buck so people will quit talking about her?" Matt asked, a perplexed look on his face.

"Well … it's not quite like that." Teaspoon said.

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that … I know those kids love each other. Hell, the whole town knows it. It was plain as day at the dance. I only meant did she think if she married Buck legally that people would quit talking about them being together…. Damn that still don't sound right." Matt was getting flustered.

"Matt it's fine, I understand what yer tryin' to say. Lou knows she's gonna be judged no matter what. She just wants to be free to marry Buck when the time is right because she loves him." Teaspoon told him.

"Good for them." Matt said with a little smile. "I hope the judge can help."

"Send me word out to the ranch if ya hear anything back from the Judge or Sam." Teaspoon said, "See ya later Matt."

"Bye Teaspoon." Matt called as Teaspoon walked out of the building leaving him to send the messages along.

Teaspoon left the telegraph office, his eyes looking towards the schoolhouse, he wondered where that devil woman was at. School had been let out for winter break. Was she still in town or had she gone home to her daddy over the break? Teaspoon sure hoped Sam would be able to gather some information on the woman that could send her packing. The telegram he had received from the man had only said he'd look in on it and that Emma had sent a letter to Lou. He knew he should tell them about what had happened with Kid. He should tell them about the baby, about Buck and Lou, but it wasn't his place.

Teaspoon stopped and turned back around and headed back into the telegraph office. "You forget something Teaspoon?" Matt asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, I need to send one more wire." Teaspoon said, taking the piece of paper Matt offered him. He hoped Lou wouldn't be too mad at him as he wrote down the short message.

Matt took the piece of paper, "Who's it going to?"

"Mrs. Emma Cain, Omaha." Teaspoon said with a grin, before tipping his hat and walking out of the office.

Back at the ranch Buck sat at the table, carving on a piece of wood. It was too cold outside to be fixing fences and the animals had all been taken care of already. Lou was resting in their bedroom, she had woken up that morning with a nasty head cold, thanks to being out in the freezing cold the day before.

"Whatcha carving Buck?" Jeremiah asked around a mouthful of cookie.

Buck looked up at the boy, a smile on his face, "I'm making the baby a crib. But don't tell Lou, it's a surprise."

"Can I see?" the boy asked holding out his hand for the piece of wood.

Buck handed it over to him, Jeremiah looked over the carvings. He ran his fingers over the images. "What do these symbols mean?" he asked as he handed it back to Buck.

"It's a Kiowa blessing. It basically means 'May the Great Spirit watch over this child'." Buck told him as he went back to carving a picture of a horse.

"Buck… is the Great Spirit and God the same thing?" Jeremiah asked, his brow furrowing.

"I believe they are … I don't know if others would agree with me though." Buck answered after considering the question carefully.

"So when you have Red Bear perform the wedding ceremony before the Great Spirit, it will be the same as before God right?" Jeremiah asked.

"I guess so." Buck said, confused, "Why are you asking 'Miah?"

"Cause, I wanted to make sure God would recognize your marriage to my sister even if the townsfolk don't." Jeremiah answered.

Buck put down the piece of wood and his knife, and put his hand on the young boy's shoulder. "Jeremiah, I don't know if I'll ever be recognized as Lou's husband in the white world, but that will never stop me from loving Lou, or you and Resa or the baby. The townsfolk will probably never accept our marriage, even if we are able to marry legally. Lou will be scorned for being divorced and for marrying a half breed. And I'm afraid you and Resa will face the same hatred because of it."

Jeremiah looked up at Buck, his face sad. "I don't care what the town thinks Buck. You love my sister, and she loves you. You treat her good and would do anything for her. You came and got me and Resa out of that orphanage when that bastard who deserted Lou would have just left us in there. I can handle whatever the town throws at me and so can Lou."

Buck smirked, the corner of his mouth lifting in a lopsided smile, "Yep you are definitely Lou's brother." He said laughing a little.

Jeremiah just grinned as he got up and left Buck alone with his woodwork.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. Thank you to all the nice reviews so far. To the reviewer who suggested Teaspoon show the judge the letter as proof, unfortunately he burned it. So the only proof they have is their word. But I think there are members of the town that would be willing to testify on Lou's behalf. We shall see how it turns out for them. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Two weeks had gone by since Teaspoon had sent that telegram to the judge. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever hear back from him. Buck and Teaspoon were in the barn mending tack, when a rider came into the yard. Buck poking his head out of the barn to see who it was.

"Mornin' Tompkins, what brings you all the way out here?" Buck asked as he walked out to greet the man, Teaspoon right behind him.

"Wire came in for ya Teaspoon, Matt asked if I'd bring it out to ya, since I was coming out anyway to see how Lou was faring, been awhile since I've seen y'all." Tompkins said as he dismounted, pulling a telegram from his pocket to hand to Teaspoon.

"What is it Teaspoon?" Buck asked, hoping it would be from Sam.

"It's from the judge. He'll be coming in on the stage in the morning." Teaspoon told them.

"Judge? Everything alright Teaspoon?" Tompkins asked.

"Why don't you come on inside Tompkins and we'll have a chat." Teaspoon suggested.

"Don't mind if I do… Rachel wouldn't happen to have any of her desserts ready, would she?" Tompkins asked, looking towards the house.

"Rachel keeps a cake made." Buck said laughing, "Between Teaspoon and the children we go through at least one every, couple days."

The three men entered the house through the mud room that lead into the kitchen where Rachel was indeed, putting the finishing touches on a cake. "Why I didn't know we had company, what brings you out here today?" Rachel said when she spotted Tompkins.

"Delivering a telegram to Teaspoon and came to check on Lou." Tompkins told her as he took a seat at the table, Rachel cutting him a big slice of the freshly made cake.

"Resa, will you go tell Louise that we have company." Rachel asked the little girl who was playing with her doll in the corner of the room.

"Yes ma'am." She said getting to her feet and hurrying from the room. "LOUISE! WE GOT COMPANY!" she shouted as soon as she exited the kitchen.

Rachel rolled her eyes in annoyance, "I could have done that." she muttered causing Buck to chuckle.

A few minutes later, Lou came into the room, a smile on her face when she saw the man sitting at the table, "Morning Tompkins, to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"Just came to see how you were doing Lou. Plus had telegram to deliver to Teaspoon." Tompkins told her around a mouthful of cake.

"I'm doing good." Lou told him with smile, thinking it was real, sweet of him to come all the way out there just to check on her.

"So, what does the telegram say Teaspoon?" Lou asked, as she sat in front of Buck, her back resting against his chest, his arms around her, hands resting on her swollen belly.

"Well, it's from the judge. He'll be on the stage tomorrow." Teaspoon told Lou.

Lou looked over at Tompkins, wondering if she should say anything else, but decided that he had stood by them up to this point so might as well, "Is he going to give me the divorce?"

"Don't know, just said he'd be on the stage. Reckon we'll find out tomorrow." Teaspoon said scratching his chin.

"You trying to get the judge to grant a divorce?" Tompkins asked looking at Lou.

Lou blushed and looked down, "I just want to be free to live my life as I see fit."

"Well, if the judge needs any testimony, I would be glad to tell him whatever you need me too." Tompkins told her.

"Thanks Tompkins, I really appreciate that." Lou said sincerely.

"If the judge grants the divorce are you two gonna get married?" Tompkins asked looking over at the young lovers, a smile teasing at the corner of his lips.

"That's the plan." Buck answered him.

Tompkins grinned, "Come by the store next time you're in town. I've got some nice rings you might like."

"We'll do that." Lou told the man.

"Well I best be getting back to town, I need to get back to the shop." Tompkins said standing, "Rachel thank you for the cake, it was delicious as always."

Teaspoon and Buck walked the man back to his horse, thanking him again for coming by. Buck would never in a million years have ever thought that he would ever consider Tompkins someone he could count on, let alone a friend, but that is exactly what he had become to him and to Lou. And lord knows they needed all the friends they could get in town.

The next day, Teaspoon, Buck, and Lou went into town to meet the stage. Rachel staying back at the ranch with the children. They did not think the children needed to be involved in the meeting with the judge. As they stood in front of Tompkins' store, Matt the telegraph operator and Tompkins joined them. Nobody, spoke as they waited. It wasn't long before the stage coach pulled up, a tall man dressed in a fine suit exited first, turning back to help an older woman from the stage, who was followed by an older man. The two getting their bags and then heading off towards the hotel. The tall man turned and look at the small gathering of people.

"Which one of you is Mr. Hunter?" the man asked.

"That be me." Teaspoon said stepping forward and shaking the man's hand. "You must be the judge."

"Name's Banks, Toby Banks." the man said. "Where can we go to talk in private?"

The group all looked at each other, "Umm …" Teaspoon started scratching the side of his head.

"We could go to the old express station, it ain't been sold yet." Lou suggested pointing down the road to the abandoned bunk house.

"That will do just fine. You must be the lady in question." Mr. Banks said taking in Lou and her very visible baby bump, Lou blushed and nodded her head.

Teaspoon led the way to the old bunkhouse, using the key hidden above the door-frame to unlock it. He ushered them all inside. "Alright then let's get started, first I need to know who these other men are." Mr. Banks said looking around at the small group.

"You can just call me Tompkins, everybody does, I own the general store." Tompkins said offering his hand to the judge, who took it and shook.

The judge looked at Matt next, "And who are you?"

"Matt sir, I work at the telegraph office. I sent the wire. I wasn't sure if you'd need me here or not, so I'm here." the small man told him, clearly nervous.

The judge turned his eyes onto Buck, sizing him up. "And who are you?"

"Buck Cross." Buck told him, not offering anymore detail.

Mr. Banks just looked at him and Buck just stared back. "Alright then, let's get started. Mrs. McCloud… what was your maiden name?"

"McCloud." Lou answered.

The judge looked at her, his brows drawn together, "You were a McCloud and you married a McCloud?"

"No, I kept my last name. Kid … he never did tell me what his was. Or what his actual name was." Lou explained.

The judge scratched his head, "So you don't know your husband's legal name?"

"No." Lou answered.

"Who presided over the wedding?" The judge asked.

"That would be me, I was the marshal in town at the time." Teaspoon told the judge.

"Did the man in question tell you his legal name?" Mr. Banks asked, making notes on his papers.

"He did, whispered it to me during the ceremony." Teaspoon said.

"And when you filed the marriage license, did you put the legal name on the document?" the judge asked.

Teaspoon leaned back against the wall, scratching his cheek, "I reckon I put Kid down."

The judge began to shuffle through his paperwork, the group looking back and forth between each other. "Ah ha!" Mr. Banks exclaimed when he found what he was looking for, "Let's see here." He mumbled as he began scanning the document. He laid the paper down, and sat back, his fingers clasped together as he looked to Lou.

"Ms. McCloud, I'm afraid I can't grant you a divorce." Mr. Banks began.

"He abandoned her!" Buck exclaimed, but was silenced when the judge held up his hand. "Let me finish Mr. Cross."

"I can't grant you a divorce, because in fact you were never married." He stated.

"What?!" Teaspoon, Buck, and Lou all said at the same time. Tompkins and Matt just looked at each confused.

"It seems Mr. Hunter did in fact just put the name, Kid, down on the marriage license. Seeing as this is not the man in question legal name, the document is not legal." Mr. Banks explained.

Lou closed her eyes in disbelief, a horrible feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. "Oh God … the baby … I'm an unwed mother … if this gets out."

"Lou, no. You did nothing wrong." Buck told her trying to calm her as the panic began to set in.

"This is my fault Lou, I messed up… but look at the bright side, at least you're free to live your life." Teaspoon told her trying to get her to see the silver lining.

"Lou, I can promise you this information ain't gonna leave this room. Nobody in town will ever know." Tompkins promised the young woman.

"Ms. McCloud, I'm sorry to cause you distress. These men are correct however. You did nothing wrong, you thought you were a married woman. And if things had been different nobody would have ever known or cared. Nobody needs to be told, it is not going to become public knowledge. How you proceed from here is entirely your choice. But might I make a suggestion?" Mr. Banks said.

Lou looked at him, her mind reeling, "Go ahead."

"From what I understand. Kid left you to go fight in the war between the states. He told you he had no intention of coming back, that is correct yes?" Mr. banks asked looking at the faces of those gathered for conformation, at several nods he continued. "Perhaps, word could be spread around town that he died in the war. You would be considered a widow then."

"You mean lie to the whole town?" Buck asked, not sure he liked the idea, it just seemed wrong.

"I did it before… when everybody thought I was a boy remember." Lou said softly to him.

"Lou you didn't have anybody in town fooled." Tompkins said then. At her startled look he continued, "We didn't care you were a girl. We all figured you had your reasons for pretending otherwise. You tell folks Kid died, they'll just go with it, whether they believe it or not. The handful that don't, well they are in the minority."

"I could even write it up, make it look like an official telegram." Matt offered.

"Lou this is your decision how you want to handle this." Teaspoon said.

Lou looked back and forth between the men supporting her, tears springing to her eyes. She looked back at the judge, "I won't get into trouble for lying?"

"You've done nothing wrong." Mr. Banks told her.

"Very well. We'll tell people he died." Lou decided.

"Well then, now that is settled. Can someone point me to the hotel?" Mr. Banks asked standing as he gathered his things.

"I'll show you the way." Matt offered as he led the man from the building.

Lou looked at the men around her. Men that knew the worst about her. Men that didn't care. Men that supported her. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "Lou, honey, are you alright?" Buck asked softly.

"I … thank y'all… I don't know what I'd do if y'all thought less of me because of all this." Lou said through her tears.

"Lou you are one of the strongest, woman I've ever met. You didn't deserve all this. I'm glad things have worked out like this. It will be better with people thinking Kid died, then thinking you got a divorce." Tompkins told her. "Y'all need anything else you be sure to let me know." he said as he moved towards the door.

"Thank you, Tompkins." Buck said shaking the man's hand.

"Come on we best be getting back home. Rachel will be wanting to know what happened." Teaspoon said.

The three left the old bunkhouse and returned home where Rachel was eagerly awaiting the news. She was pretty surprised by this turn of events. "Guess that means you two can get married now." She told the two lovers.

"I guess we could." Lou said smiling at Buck.

"Um … Lou, maybe we should wait a bit to marry." Buck said softly.

A look of hurt crossed Lou's face, "You don't want to marry me?"

"Of, course I do! You know that!" Buck exclaimed, "It's just if we marry right away with Kid supposed to have been killed … well it might look bad."

Lou huffed, "You're right. Damn it I hate when you're right."

"No, you don't, you just don't like being wrong." Buck teased her.

Lou glared at him, "I ain't wrong, you just happened to be more reasonable."

Buck snickered as he leaned forward and captured Lou's mouth in a brief kiss, "At least I don't have to feel bad about bedding a married woman." He whispered quietly in Lou's ear.

Lou's cheeks turned bright red as she smacked Buck lightly on the arm, a giggle escaping her. Teaspoon and Rachel shared a smirk over their heads, they were happy things had worked out like they did. Now if only they could get rid of the devil woman.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. To Cheri, yes** **Tompkins would be a member of the town council. While he knew she had been hired, he had no reason to know she would cause problems for Buck and Lou. He would have been aware that they had 'courted' but not the problems it had caused Buck. He did however vote no but was outvoted. He doesn't know what the other members of the council were thinking when they hired her. But he could offer them no evidence against the decision at the time. He will be instrumental in her removal however once Sam digs up the dirt on her. Rosie.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Winter had finally ended and Spring had arrived. Lou was about seven months along, her belly swollen so large already that she could no longer help around the ranch, nor wear pants, she was stuck to wearing skirts, not that Buck had minded. The skirts had made it easier for them to get at each other. Often times having a quick tumble in the hayloft. Just thinking about it even now was causing Buck to become hard. He longed to be buried inside her, but her stomach was making it a little awkward. While he didn't mind Lou riding him, he liked to be able to take control and her belly almost made it impossible. He was scared he would hurt the baby if he let his weight rest on her. Buck groaned, he needed release.

Teaspoon had taken Rachel and the children into town. Buck knew they would not be home anytime soon. Lou was supposed to be resting in the house, so he figured he wouldn't get caught as he pulled his erection free of his pants. His hand closing around it, only for him to hear the door of the house slam closed, he smirked. Maybe Lou could help him after all. He watched her with hooded eyes, as he stroked himself gently. She made her way to the brand new, outdoor shower Buck had built for her. Buck licked his lips as he watched her shed her clothes before she stepped into the shower closet, he could just make out the tops of her shoulders. No this wouldn't do, he needed to see all of her.

Buck tucked himself back into his pants and descended the ladder, slowly, his erection making it painful. He walked quickly across the yard to where he had built the water closet. Lou who had her back to him, never heard him coming as he slipped out of his clothes and joined her.

Lou had been feeling unattractive to Buck, she felt like he didn't want to touch her anymore because she had gotten so big. When they made love, she would ride him, and he would always make sure she got hers, but he didn't touch her like he had before she had gotten so large. Lou couldn't stand it, she needed him to be buried in her, she needed to feel his hands on her body. She sighed as she went out of the house to enjoy the shower Buck had built for her. She had stripped naked and stepped in, never knowing that Buck had been watching her from the hayloft. Once inside the water-closet, she had started touching herself, her need was so great. She slipped her fingers inside her aching core and moaned as she touched that little bundle of nerves. She was so into it that she never heard Buck coming or noticed him opening the door to join her.

It wasn't until Buck slipped his arm around her, his hand taken over for her that she knew, "Let me take care of that for you." He whispered huskily in her ear before he nibbled against it.

"Buck," she breathed out as she sagged against him she could feel his hardness against her back.

"God, I want to be buried inside you… make you scream." Buck teased her, his fingers thrusting up into her harder as she moaned loudly.

"I didn't think you wanted me anymore cause I've gotten so fat." Lou whimpered, her walls beginning to tightening.

"You're not fat Louise, you're beautiful. A goddess. I want to worship every inch of you." Buck told her as he pulled his fingers from her before she could crash over that edge, he wanted this to last.

"You have barely touched me." Lou pointed out, a look of hurt on her face.

"Oh, honey, no… I've been holding back. I don't want to hurt the baby." Buck told her as she turned in his arms to face him.

"You won't hurt the baby, Buck. Please I need you to touch me… to make me feel wanted." Lou told him, her fingernails scratching Buck lightly on the chest, causing him to hiss in pleasure.

"You have no idea how much I want you… I always want you… every second of every day." Buck swore, his hands going to her body, caressing her skin.

"Show me." Lou whispered her voice thick with desire.

With a sexy smirk on face, Buck leaned forward and captured Lou's mouth in a heated kiss, before he began to trail kisses and nips down her jaw and neck, careful not to leave marks this time. His hands moved down her body, teasing her. Buck lowered himself to catch one of Lou's nipples in his mouth, his tongue circled it before nibbling slightly, Lou moaned at the sensation, Buck doing the same to the other one before he descended lower, showering kisses to her belly, until Buck was on his knees before her, his hands on her hips, his eyes on her face.

Lou locked eyes with him as he leaned forwards, his tongue licking at her seam, tasting her. Lou sagged against the wall of the water-closet, her hand pressing against it to steady herself as Buck licked her again. "Oh Buck, don't tease me." she moaned needing more.

Buck grinned as he dived in, his mouth latching onto that little bundle of nerves, he raised one of her legs over his shoulder to give him better access. He lapped at her, his tongue thrusting deep inside. Lou's pants and moans egging him on. "More Buck… I need more." Lou moaned.

Buck used his tongue and mouth on that bundle of nerves, his fingers delving into her hot core. "Oh … yes… yes..." Lou panted, she was so close.

"Cum for me Louise." Buck hummed against her mound.

"Buck!" Lou screamed out his name as her climaxed racked her body, her legs unable to hold her anymore as she slumped against the wall, Buck's arms the only thing keeping her on her feet as he stood before her.

He captured her mouth with his, allowing Lou to taste herself on his lips. Buck lifted Lou up into his arms, her legs going around his waist. He used the wall as support, as he lifted her onto his hardness. "God you are so tight." Buck moaned out as he began thrusting into her, his hands on her ass.

"Buck," Lou squeaked out in surprise when he slipped a finger into her ass. He removed it quickly, a little disappointed that she didn't want to try something new.

"You didn't have to stop." Lou whispered, her mouth nibbling on his ear.

Buck grinned, touching her again as he pounded her, but it wasn't enough. He couldn't get deep enough like this. Buck lowered her to the ground, a look of disappointment on Lou's face before he turned her away from him, he bent his knees so he could enter her from behind, the angle causing a whole different kind of friction. "Oh … oh … right there." Lou panted as this new angle caused Buck to hit just the right spot.

Buck ran a hand up and down Lou's back, bending her slightly so he could watch himself thrust in and out of her. He knew he was close, being able to see himself love her was a huge turn on, he wouldn't last. He reached around her and found that little bundle, he frantically rubbed it in time with his thrusts. "Oh … oh god … Buck… so close." Lou panted "Just a little more."

He began rubbing faster, his thrust harder, he was coming undone. "I'm cumin' Lou… cum with me." He felt her walls clench around him as his own climax hit him at the same time. Their mingled screams of pleasure filled the air. Buck pulled out of Lou, their combined juices dripping down her leg, as he turned her around in his arms, his mouth claiming hers in a heated kiss.

"Don't ever doubt that I want you Lou." He breathed out after breaking the kiss.

"Never again." Lou swore.

Buck reached over and pulled the lever that released the water, taking up the soap that sat on the little shelf, he began washing Lou's body. His hands ghosting over her flesh, lathering her, worshiping her. Lou took the soap from Buck and proceeded to do the same. Buck pumped more water out as they rinsed their bodies and wet their hair. Buck washing Lou's for her. His fingers messaging her scalp.

"Kneel down Buck." Lou told him.

Buck looked at her in question, but did as she said. Lou worked the soap into his hair, as he knelt before her, his hands on her stomach, kissing her belly. He pressed an ear to it, wanting to hear the baby, as Lou's fingers messaged his scalp. She pulled him back to his feet, as he hit the lever again to let the water cascade over their bodies and rinsed the soap from their hair. They were so in their own little world they never heard the wagon entered the yard.

"What in tarnation is going on here?!" a woman's voice exclaimed as she came around the corner spotting the two showering together.

Buck and Lou sprang apart in surprise, "Emma!"

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. And Earthdragon, You are very right that lying to the town is not a good idea ... We shall see if it comes back to bite them in the ass. And Yes I wonder what Emma is going have to say about everything lol.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Emma Cain stood with her hands on her hips, her mouth hanging open in shock, what had she just walked in on? Teaspoon had said there was a lot to talk about when he sent that telegram, but she was most definitely not expecting to find her Loulabelle taking a shower with Buck. What in the world would Kid do when he found out about this?

The two former riders blushed profusely, Lou attempting to hide herself behind Buck, Buck covering himself even though Emma could only see the tops of his shoulders. They were both extremely thankful that she had not arrived a few moments earlier. Emma was just glaring at them.

"Does someone want to tell me just what kinda shenanigans is going on here? Loulabelle you get on out of there and get dressed." Emma scolded ever the mother.

Lou slowly opened the door and snatched up her dress, slipping it on quickly before coming fully out of the shower. Emma gasped when she saw Lou's stomach, "I think I need to sit down." Emma breathed out, her hand going to her head.

"Emma we can explain." Buck said quickly as he pulled on his clothes in the shower. Lou moving to stand in front of Emma.

"Well somebody had better! What would Kid think!" Emma scolded loudly, not quite yelling.

"Emma, why don't we all go inside and have a little chat." Rachel said as she came around the corner, her eyes sparkling with laughter when she realized the situation Buck and Lou had been caught in.

Emma turned and followed the other woman leaving Buck and Lou alone for a minute. They looked at each other and started laughing, "Can you imagine what she'd have done if she had been just a little earlier?" Lou asked, tears rolling down her face.

Buck visibly shuddered, "I'd rather not even think about it."

Hand in hand, the two lovers walked inside the house, Teaspoon and Sam snickering as they came in. "Alright Mr. Spoon, start talking. You're telegram only said to come for a visit there was a lot to talk about." Emma said, her eyes leveling on the older man, hands on hips.

"Well 'bout that, Lou's pregnant." Teaspoon said casually.

"I can see that Mr. Spoon." Emma scoffed, her lips pursing, as she began tapping her foot.

"It's Kid's, cept he done split on her, months ago to go fight in that blasted war. Slipped out in the middle of the night, only leaving a letter freeing her from the marriage." Teaspoon explained.

Emma gasped, tears springing to her eyes, her poor Loulabelle, "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. But that don't explain what I just saw outside, you're still married to Kid."

"Actually, I'm not." Lou said.

"What?" Emma asked, her mind reeling, had Lou got a divorce?

"Turns out Emma, I messed up. Kid and Lou weren't ever legally married cause I put Kid down on the marriage license." Teaspoon told her.

Emma had to sit down, "Sweet merciful heavens."

She held her head in her hands for a moment as she thought on all that she'd been told, she sat back looking at the boy and girl she considered her children, "So Kid ain't in the picture no more?"

"No." Lou told her, taking Buck's hand.

Emma looked between the two, "So you two are together, together?"

"Yes," Buck answered smiling.

"This is a lot to take in," Emma murmured before looking at Buck, "Honey, I'm so sorry. I thought the worst of you just now, but I should have known better. You'd never betray a friend."

"It's alright Emma, I'm sure that was a shock for you." Buck said, only imagining just how shocked she could have been.

"A shock to be sure. I just gotta know one thing though… what does the town think about Lou having a baby seeing how she was never technically married." Emma asked, her eyes concerned.

"Well, they don't know that bit. We kinda let people believe that Kid had been killed in the war." Lou told her, her face blushing when Emma looked at her in shock and disappointment.

"Loulabelle, I don't think that was the best course of action. A lie is never the answer." Emma scolded gently.

"I lied to the whole town before when I pretended to be a girl." Lou pointed out.

"No, that was different, you never told the townsfolk you were a boy, you just let them assume you were." Emma said.

"What's the difference?" Lou asked.

"The difference is, you weren't hurting no one by pretending to be a boy. But straight out lying to the town saying Kid is dead, so people wouldn't know the marriage was never legal, so you can be with Buck, is just wrong and it can come back to bite you in the behind." Emma explained, clearly worried.

Buck had been incredibly silent, he hadn't wanted to lie to the town, but it had been Lou's decision. "It's a little too late now Emma, Tompkins made sure the word was spread."

"Not much we can do about that then, just hope that Kid never shows back up to cause problems." Emma said, "Now I want a hug from my girl and boy." Emma stood arms held out wide to them.

Lou rushed over to the woman squeezing her tightly, only to let go long enough for Buck to be pulled into the hug. "A baby… oh Loulabelle, I'm so happy for you. And Buck, you've grown into such a handsome young man… no wonder our Lou chose you." Emma teased, causing Buck to blush.

"Am I chopped liver over here? Where's my hug?" Sam complained a few minutes later.

Lou moved over to the lawman who swept her up in a big bear hug, "Girly, it's hard to believe I ever thought you were a boy. You're the prettiest little momma I've laid eyes on."

"And Buck," Sam said as he clasped Buck's hand and pulled him into a hug, slapping his back, "Seems you hit the jackpot."

"Yes, I did." Buck said his eyes lingering on Lou.

The group moved into the parlor, where Rachel served them all some cake, Buck and Lou cuddling together on the couch, Emma sitting next to them so she could pat Lou's knee occasionally. Sam sat on the settee near the fireplace, lighting up a cigar.

"So, the thing is, we didn't just come out here for a visit…" Sam started, blowing out a puff of smoke.

"You found something on that she-devil." Teaspoon broke in.

Sam grinned, "I most certainly did… and it's a dandy."

Buck and Lou shared a look, smiling triumphantly. "What did you find Sam?" Lou asked eagerly.

"It turns out that Ms. Devlin was disowned by her father, which is why she became a teacher, she's here because she thought no one would know her." Sam stated.

"But why would Devlin disown his own daughter?" Buck asked. True Kathleen's father had wanted Kathleen to marry Rance, but he had still loved her, even when she was going around with him, her father never threatened to disown her.

"Seems after the incident between you and Rance, Mr. Devlin did in fact send Ms. Devlin back to the finishing school in Paris… and this is where things get interesting." Sam said as he pulled a letter from his pocket, "This here is a letter from the director of said school."

"What's it say, Sam?" Lou asked.

"Ms. Devlin was expelled from the finishing school after she was caught in a compromising position with a fellow student." Sam said, his eyes looking over at the ladies not sure if they would be offended by the topic.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute here Sam." Rachel started, "Are you telling me that she-devil was caught having relations with a woman?"

"That seems to be the case. Needless to say, once her father found out he promptly disowned her." Sam told them.

"I'll be damn." Teaspoon muttered.

"Can I have that letter Sam?" Lou asked.

"Sure… but what are you going to do with it?" Sam asked as he handed it over to Lou.

Lou smirked, "I'm going to get rid of the tramp."

"Oh, there was one other thing." Emma spoke up then all eyes turned to her, "Sam is stepping down from his position in Omaha. Seems Rock Creek was in need of a new marshal."

"Emma! Sam! Y'all are moving here?" Lou exclaimed happily.

"Just gotta wrap up somethings back in Omaha, but we should be here permanently in month or so." Sam told the young girl.

Buck and Lou shared a smile, with each other and with Sam and Emma.

"This calls for some celebration!" Teaspoon exclaimed.

"Now Mr. Spoon, ain't no need for all that. Sides we got plenty of other things to celebrate. That baby being one of them." Emma told him.

The family spent the remainder of the day, just enjoying each other's company. Buck showing Sam around the ranch. Emma visiting with Lou and Rachel and her siblings. She was so glad that Buck had gone to fetch the children for Lou. Between Rachel and Lou, Emma had learned the whole story. She was glad, that Buck and Lou had found each other after everything they had been through, they both deserved happiness. She only hoped Kid would stay gone for Lou's sake.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

The next day Lou drove herself into town, much to Buck's dismay. He knew what she was up to, and wanted to see that devil woman get her come comeuppance, but Lou didn't want Buck to go anywhere near that she-devil.

Lou parked the buckboard in front of Tompkins store, she needed to pick some things up while she was in town, plus she was waiting for the school to let out. As soon as she saw the door to the school open and the children began filing out, she made her way over. It was time for Ms. Devlin to be taught a lesson.

Lou entered the school house, Kathleen was standing behind her desk with her head bowed, shuffling papers. Lou let the door shut behind her causing Kathleen to look up, her eyes narrowing as she took Lou in, an evil smirk going across her face.

"Ah, if it isn't the 'widow'," Kathleen sneered, "How convenient for you that your husband was killed."

Lou just stared at her, walking closer, she wasn't going to let Kathleen get to her. "Tell me has Buck jumped at the chance to marry you," Kathleen said pointedly looking at her ring finger, a smirk on her lips, "Guess not since there's no ring. Guess he doesn't want to be daddy to a whore's brat."

Lou just, smiled, her eyes gleaming. Kathleen losing some of her bravado at Lou's calm demeanor, "Why are you even here?"

"Seems I've found something interesting out Ms. Devlin." Lou said as she pulled the letter from her pocket, "I know why you're here. Daddy cut you off didn't he Kathleen?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kathleen said folding her arms over her chest.

"Then I guess you don't know about being kicked out of that fancy Paris finishing school either … oh you know the one where you were caught bunking with another woman." Lou said, opening the letter and holding it out to show Kathleen.

Kathleen reached for the letter but Lou pulled it back before she could get it. "What will it take to keep this quiet?"

"I want you to leave. I want you to tell people the truth, that you made up all that horseshit at the dance." Lou told her.

"The town believed what I said because they already had doubts about you. What makes you think they would even believe me." Kathleen asked.

"You better make them, or I swear the whole town will know the truth about you Ms. Devlin." Lou promised.

"And you think they'd believe you, a woman of questionable character, over me a good little school teacher?" Kathleen asked leaning back.

"Maybe not, but they'd believe the Marshal who found this information out, they would believe Tompkins a man on the town council and looked up to by everyone." Lou reasoned.

"You're bluffing… you wouldn't dare." Kathleen said.

"You have no idea what I would do to protect Buck." Lou said getting closer to Kathleen, leaning into her face, Kathleen visibly shrank back at the look in Lou's eyes.

"Fine… I'll try to fix things. I can't promise they will believe me. Now can I have that letter?" Kathleen asked holding her hand out for it.

Lou laughed, "You think I'm an idiot? I give this to you and I have no leverage. No, I'm hanging on to this for now. I'll be watching Ms. Devlin."

Kathleen glared at Lou as she turned and walked out of the schoolhouse her head held high. Lou had won for now. But she still didn't have Buck, or so Kathleen thought. No ring, no promise, she still had a chance. She'd make things right for Louise and just maybe Buck would be grateful enough to thank her in person and then … well she could make sure he'd be hers then.

Lou left the schoolhouse and went over to the store, Tompkins standing at the window and watching her, as she walked across the road, he turned to look at her when she came in the door, "You sure seem happy, Lou… just what were you doing at the schoolhouse?"

"Dealing with a vermin problem." Lou said with a grin.

"Sam find out something did he?" Tompkins asked, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk.

"You could say that… and if Ms. Devlin wants to keep it quiet, she'll fix the mess she created." Lou told him.

"You want me to keep an ear to the ground, see if she's convincing the town?" Tompkins asked.

"I'd appreciate that… and if not, I'll need your help convincing the town the truth about her." Lou told him as she looked around the store, her eyes lingering on the display of rings inside.

Tompkins smiled when he saw what had caught Lou's attention, "You see one you like?"

Lou scanned the contents, her eyes lingering on a small silver band with a simple turquoise stone. But she didn't see any wedding bands in silver for Buck. No, she wanted a set that matched. She shook her head, but Tompkins had seen the one Lou was looking at.

"You know Lou, I can always order something special if you don't like anything." Tompkins told her, walking behind his counter to pull out a catalog.

"I dunno Tompkins … shouldn't Buck be the one to pick out the rings?" Lou asked, her eyes drifting back to the simple ring.

"I could always make a suggestion to him … maybe even make sure there's a matching band for him too." Tompkins suggested.

Lou smirked, "So, say Buck comes in sometime soon, perhaps you might suggest a simple silver band."

"Sure… I could do that." Tompkins said chuckling a little. "You need anything else Lou?"

"Rachel just needs a sack of flour, and I need to purchase some fabric to start making diapers." Lou told him as she went to study the fabrics.

A short time later Lou was headed back to the ranch with her purchases. She had not only gotten fabric for diapers, but she had found a gift for Buck. One that she hoped he would like.

Buck was waiting for her when she pulled into the yard, a worried expression on his face, but at her smile he relaxed. "Things go good?" Buck asked as he lifted her down from the buckboard, his thumbs brushing the sides of her breast, Lou shivering at his touch.

"I'm giving her a chance to fix things. If she doesn't the whole town will know exactly what kinda woman she really is." Lou told him, before she stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips.

"You're a better person than I am, I would have let the whole town know." Buck told her.

Lou laughed a little, "Buck Cross you and I both know, you'd do no such thing, you're too good. I was trying to be more like you."

"You may be right … but when it comes to you…I'd burn the town to the ground if it would protect you." Buck whispered, his eyes going dark with intensity.

"I love you Buck …" Lou told him, "I brought you something."

"You didn't have to get me anything, Lou." Buck told her, as he pulled her into his arms and began nibbling the side of her ear, "You want to slip up to the hayloft." He whispered his voice husky.

"So, tempting… but I promised I'd help Rachel with supper. I've already been gone too long… I'll make it up to you tonight." Lou teased, her fingers trailing down Buck's chest, until she squeezed him through his pants causing Buck to growl low in his throat.

"Tease..." He breathed out, his own hand trailing down her belly to touch her through her skirts.

"No … that's a promise." She said nipping his lower lip before she turned and pulled his present out of the box in the back of the buckboard. She turned back to him, and pressed it against his chest.

Buck looked down at the brand, new hat Lou had bought him, his jaw clenched as he swallowed hard. "Buck … are you alright? Do you not like it?" Lou asked, her brows furrowing.

"Lou … I … I can't take this." Buck whispered his voice breaking.

"But why? I don't understand Buck." Lou asked, looking at the hat in her hands to the one on his head, they were almost identical.

Buck reached up and took the one he was wearing off, it was worn in many spots, it was looking pretty shabby to be honest, he held it in his hands, looking at it, turning it around and around in his hands, not meeting Lou's eyes. "Lou … I know you meant well… but I … this was the first birthday gift I had ever received."

"Ike bought it for you, didn't he?" Lou asked understanding dawning on her. "I'm sorry, I should have known."

"No, Lou you didn't do anything wrong… I know I need a new one … I just can't say goodbye yet." Buck told her, his eyes moist with unshed tears.

"Buck, Ike is always with you. He's here." Lou told him placing her hand over his heart.

Buck reached towards Lou, the back of his fingers brushing her cheek, "I wish he was still with us. I miss him so much."

"I know Buck … I do too." Lou told him, her own eyes filling with tears.

The breeze sifting, stirring up a little dust that twirled like a dance between them, Buck's hat lifting in his fingers, to flap back down against his leg. The breeze swirling around them, like a caress, a silent laugh on the wind. Buck and Lou looked in each other's eyes and could have sworn that Ike was with them.

**A/N: Thanks shauna for the beta. To the guest reviewer questioning why not just tell the town they got a divorce, you have to consider the time period. a divorce was scandalous. And Lou has caused enough of a scandal in town just by masquerading as a boy to work. She wants to be accepted by the town for Buck to be accepted, he has a hard enough time being accepted because of who he is... marrying a divorce woman would just make things worse. Granted they will be in a heap of trouble if Kid ever shows back up. **


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

That night after supper, Lou had told the others what she had done in town. How she had given Kathleen a chance to redeem herself. When asked why she hadn't just destroyed her, like she had tried to do to Lou and Buck, Lou could only say, she was trying to see the good in everybody, the way Buck does. Buck smiled softly down at Lou as she curled against his side on the couch. It touched him that Lou, thought the best of him like that, but Buck knew better. He hated Kathleen, he wanted her to burn. He resented those in town who dared speak ill of Lou. He had killed a man in cold blood over Ike. He wasn't a good person … he didn't deserve Lou.

Buck sighed as he took his arm from around Lou's shoulders, the others had long since gone to bed. "I'm tired, think I'm gonna turn in."

"Is everything alright Buck?" Lou asked as he stood up stretching his arms over his head.

"Lou … I'm not a good person." Buck whispered his back towards her.

"No, Buck, why would you even say that?" Lou asked, standing, her hand on his face forcing him to look at her.

"You think, I try to see the best in people. You think I would give Kathleen a chance to make things right." Buck whispered, unable to meet her eyes.

"Buck … you are a good person." Lou swore.

"I hate her … I hate the people in town who think the worst about you, who believed her … Lou I killed that bastard in cold blood …" Buck said brokenly.

"Buck you listen to me and you listen good. You are a good person with a good heart. You love deeply and when you do you will do anything to protect those you love, including killing that man. He killed Ike… you did what anybody would have … anyone of us would have. I would have been right there with you, if I'd known what you were planning to do." Lou promised, both hands on his face, brushing his hair back, soothing him.

"No Lou … I could have never asked that of you. Of any of you." Buck told her, taking her hands in his.

"You wouldn't have had to… Buck, you're not a bad person. After everything you been through, after everything we both been through, it's alright to have hard feelings towards Kathleen and those in town that think the worst. But Buck … they don't matter. You do." Lou told him, bringing his hands to her lips to kiss his knuckles.

"I don't deserve you," Buck whispered before he captured her lips in a gentle kiss.

Lou broke the kiss, stepping back, letting go of one of his hands as she turned and led them to their bedroom. Buck closed the door quietly behind them, Lou letting go of his hand as she moved to stand in the middle of the room, her back to Buck. He moved up behind her, his lips ghosting along the flesh of her neck. Lou tilted her head to give him better access, a smile on her lips. Buck's hands on her shoulders, began running down her arms till they touch her fingers, his fingers intertwining with hers. His teeth nibbling on the shell of her ear, causing a breathy moan to escape Lou.

"Buck, please …" Lou breathed as she felt Buck's hardness pressing against the small of her back through their clothes.

Buck turned Lou in his arms, his hands on either side of her face as his mouth claimed hers, his tongue begging for entrance, Lou opened to him. She felt his tongue delve deeply, her tongue pressing back against his. Her fingers in his hair. She needed more. Her hands went to his shirt pulling it lose from his buckskin pants. He stopped her, "No, Lou … let me worship you." Buck said breaking their kiss.

Lou stopped, her eyes uncertain until Buck's fingers went to the button's on the front of her dress. Slowly one by one, he undid them, exposing the soft camisole she had underneath. Buck slowly pushed the fabric from her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor until Lou stood before him in just her undergarments. Her camisole only tied over her breast, her stomach bare before him, her petticoat, sitting just below her bump. Lou blushed knowing she looked ridiculous. "You are so beautiful." Buck said softly, the back of his knuckles brushing her cheek.

"I'm fat." Lou stated, a look of doubt on her face.

"No … you're perfect." Buck whispered, his hands going to the ties of her camisole, slowly undoing the simple bow, letting it fall open to reveal her perky breast. Breast that were fuller than they had been months before. He cupped one of them in his palm, his mouth descending to the other, tongue twirling around her nipple, teeth nipping gently. A strange taste in Buck's mouth caused him to pull back, to look at her bosoms. He squeezed her nipple between two fingers, a whitish liquid seeping out a little, he touched his tongue to it.

Buck's hand went around Lou's back, to find the ties of her petticoat, letting it drop to the floor with her dress. Buck lowered one arm to behind her legs, the other still behind her back as he lifted her bridal style in his arms and moved her to the bed. "You have too many clothes on." Lou breathed out, her body aching with desire.

Buck smirked, "Not yet, honey… I'm not done with you yet."

Lou arched an eyebrow at him, mimicking his signature look of snark. The corner of Buck's mouth lifted, as he crawled over her, his mouth attacking the soft flesh of her neck. His hand ghosted down her body, settling over her belly, a kick meeting his hand. Buck broke the assault on Lou's neck to look down at where his hand was resting, as he felt another kick. He moved down her body, his ear resting over where he had felt the baby move, his eyes closing as he concentrated. Lou's hands went to his head, her fingers tangling in his hair, a smile on her face. She loved it when he did this, she could almost believe that the baby she carried really was Buck's. She felt Buck raise his head, placing a soft kiss to her swollen belly, whispered Kiowa words slipping from his lips.

"What does that mean?" Lou asked softly, as she continued to brush her fingers through Buck's hair, she just loved the way it felt.

"I told him, that I love him always, that he was my son in all ways that matter." Buck admitted, his cheeks staining a little.

"Him?" Lou asked.

"Just a feeling." Buck said shrugging his shoulders.

"I love you Buck." Lou said softly, a smile on her lips.

Buck pressed another kiss to her stomach before he began trailing down her body, pressing kisses and little bites to the inside of her thighs, all the way down to her ankles and worked his way back up until he was level with her mound, a smattering of dark curls covering the heaven he knew was between her legs. His tongue darted forward tasting her. Lou moaned. A wicked smile on Buck's face as he teased her with his tongue, never giving her more than just the lightest of touches with the tip of his tongue between her folds.

"Buck please quit teasing me." Lou whimpered, her core aching in need.

"What do you want Lou?" Buck asked, raising so he could look at her face, her eyes were heavy with desire, she was nibbling on her lower lip.

"You.. all of you." Lou said, her voice thick with want.

"You have me Lou … Tell me what you want?" Buck teased, his tongue flicking out touching that little bundle of nerves that always causes Lou to come undone, her hips bucking up in response.

"God, Buck … I want to feel your tongue on me, to feel your fingers inside me." Lou told him heatedly.

Buck smirked as his mouth descended on her, his tongue delving deep inside her hot wet core. His thumb rubbing against her little bundle of nerves. Lou's moan filled the air. "More Buck."

He replaced his tongue with two fingers, curling them up against that spot inside, his mouth sucking on her nub. His tongue teasing her, as he thrust his fingers in and out of her slowly, tortuously. Lou panted under him, her breathy moans filling the air. Her fingers digging into his scalp. She bent her knees up pushing herself against Buck's mouth, her hips rocking in time with his fingers. She was so close.

"Buck … oh Buck… BUCK!" Lou cried out as her climax hit her, her back arching off the bed, before she collapsed back against it breathing hard.

Buck withdrew his fingers, licking them slowly in front of her, before he crawled up her body and captured her mouth. "Clothes off now." Lou ordered when she broke the kiss.

Buck moved from the bed, standing before her as she sat up on the edge, her hands brushing Buck's vest from his shoulders. Her fingers quickly undoing the buttons of his shirt, pulling it free from his pants before it too joined the vest on the floor. Lou pulled Buck's long john top off over his head, tossing it somewhere to the side, her hands gently taking his medicine pouch off, hanging it from the bed post. Her hands went to the ties of his buckskin pants, pushing them from his hips along with the long johns, freeing Buck's painfully hard erection. Lou licked her lips wanting to taste him, like he did her. She leaned forward, her hands grabbing Buck's hips, as her tongue touching the tip of his manhood tasting the little bead of liquid there. "Lou..." Buck breathed out as she opened her mouth to take him into it.

"Shit … Lou …," Buck breathed as he moved his hips forward, thrusting himself into her warm mouth. He was going to come undone. No, he couldn't do that… he wanted to lose himself inside her hot wet core. "Stop Lou … I need to be in you."

Lou released him with a little pop, as she leaned back, propping herself up on her elbows. Buck moved between her legs, pulling her bottom so that it slightly hung off the edge, his arm holding Lou's leg below the knee as he lined up with her entrance, pushing inside her. God, he had never been this deep in her before.

Lou had never felt so full of Buck before, this was so good. She rolled her hips against him, both of their groans filling the air. Buck pulled out until just his tip was inside her before he thrust back in. Lou moaning with each thrust. Each one going deeper. Buck leaned closer to her, holding himself over her on one hand, encouraging her to put her leg over his shoulder. Buck almost came undone, this angle caused him all new sensations. His grunts matching Lou's moans. He could feel her walls tightened around him, her climax hitting her hard. "BUCK!" she wailed loudly. Buck felt his own climax being pumped from him by her walls, his seed being pulled from his body, filling her. "Oh, Hell Lou!" Buck called out his whole body, locking as he emptied himself into her, before collapsing on top of her, before he rolled to his side pulling her with him, he didn't want to leave her just yet.

"Do you think it will always be like this?" Lou asked a short time later when her breathing slowed down.

"Like what?" Buck asked, cradling her against his side.

"So intense … like it's the first time every time." Lou told him.

"I think so … I know I can never get enough of you." Buck swore, kissing the top of her head.

"Marry me Buck." Lou asked raising herself up on her elbows to look down into his face.

"Lou … it's too soon. You know the town wouldn't accept it." Buck told her, "As much as I want to make you mine and tell the whole world… it's just not the time."

"What about Red Bear? You said you would send for him come Spring?" Lou reminded him.

"I want to … I just don't know where he is. And I can't leave you right now to track him down. Soon, honey, I promise." Buck told her, pulling her down to capture her lips, rolling her to the side, raising her leg over his hip as he slipped inside her.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta! And no I don't think Kid will be returning but a muse can be a cruel cruel thing. You never know what they will have you do. Thanks for all the lovely reviews. I'm not sure how much longer this story is going be. I've still a few things to wrap up but I don't see it lasting much longer. Maybe about 30 chapters total. Let me know what y'all think. Any thoughts?**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

The next morning Lou awoke to an empty bed, the sun already high in the sky, she had slept way in, a smile on her lips knowing Buck probably had told the others to let her rest. He knew how easily tired she was these days, and that she hadn't been sleeping well. She looked around the room, her eyes landing on Buck's hat, and not the new one, the old worn one. It was sitting on Buck's trunk. Lou smiled sadly thinking of Ike, she really did miss him. She wondered what he would have thought about her and Buck being together, would he have approved? She liked to think so.

A knock sounded on her door, it opened and Teresa burst in before she even had a chance to answer, "Louise!" The young girl called as she bounded in, her braids flapping behind her at her speed.

"Resa how many times have I told you to wait before you just come in someone's room." Lou scolded the young girl, pulling the sheet up to her shoulders, as she was still naked.

Teresa looked around Lou's bedroom, taking in Lou's scattered clothing, her little hands on her hips as she looked back at Lou, "Louise, you know better than leaving your clothes everywhere, you get on to me all the time about it yet you do it too."

Lou looked down, trying to hide the laughter on her lips, how would she explain to the girl the reason. "You're right, I should know better." Lou said completely straight faced. "Did you need something?"

"Rachel sent me to fetch ya, Mr. Tompkins, the preacher, and a few men I don't know are down in the parlor." Teresa told her.

Lou's face went white, "Why are they here?"

"Don't know, just wanna talk to you." Teresa said with a shrug.

"Alright, go tell Rachel I'll be right down and then, go out to the barn and stay there until they leave." Lou told the young girl, she didn't know what the men wanted and she wanted to make sure Teresa didn't hear anything inappropriate.

"Do I have too Louise?" Teresa whined.

"Yes, now go." Lou told the girl.

Once the door was closed Lou slipped out of bed and quickly dressed before she joined Rachel and the men in the parlor. Buck nor Teaspoon were there. "What's going on?" Lou asked when she walked in.

Tompkins smiled at her, instantly relaxing her a little, "Lou, this here is the town council."

Lou looked around at the men. Tompkins, the preacher, one man she recognized as the banker, and the other she swore was the saloon owner. So, this was the town council… what did they want with her? "What brings you gentlemen out here?" Lou asked, sitting on the couch next to Rachel, she patted Lou on the knee.

"Mrs. McCloud… It seems we the town owe you an apology." The preacher started.

Lou just looked at them, her brows knitted. "Yes, it seems that we were quick to judge you, and Mr. Cross to be honest. It's come about, that certain rumors that have been spread about town where in fact just that, rumors."

"You don't say." Lou said a little sarcastically, had Kathleen really convinced the town that she had lied about her and Buck?

"Point in fact, the person responsible for starting the rumors, has admitted that she made them up." The banker said.

"Did she?" Lou asked, actually surprised.

"Yes and because of her lack of character, the council has removed her from her position as school teacher at Tompkins insistence. I offered her a job at the saloon." the rough man said with a grin, causing a surprise gasp from the preacher and Rachel.

Lou snorted a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand to try to hide it. "Ya fired Ms. Devlin then."

"She left out on the stage yesterday afternoon." Tompkins spoke up grinning like a cat that ate the canary, he had been really glad that he convinced the council to get rid of that woman.

"Good riddance." Lou muttered. "But y'all didn't need to come all the way out here just to tell me all this."

"No, be we felt you deserved an apology in person. Plus, we also came to talk to Mrs. Hunter." The preacher spoke up.

"What do you need to talk to me about?" Rachel asked, looking at the men confused.

"Rachel, we were hoping, that you'd take over the school teacher position until a new teacher is found or permanently if you'd like." Tompkins said.

"You want me to teach? But I'm not a teacher." Rachel asked, looking around them.

"Rachel, you been teaching 'Miah and 'Resa." Lou pointed out.

"That's different Lou, that's just two children." Rachel argued.

"Rachel, you know you'd make a wonderful teacher, and you love children." Lou told her.

"Please Mrs. Hunter, there's not another woman in town that can do it and it's not fair to the children to miss out on an education until we can send for another school teacher. There's no telling how long it would take to get one." The banker told them.

"Well … I suppose I could take over for the time being, but only until another teacher is found, I've got too much work to do out here." Rachel relented.

"Wonderful! You can start tomorrow." The preacher said, clapping his hands together. "Now we really should get out of you fine ladies, hair."

The men stood, tipping their hats as they left, "Good day ladies."

Tompkins hung back a little to talk to Lou, "I don't know what you had on that woman, but whatever it was she really didn't want out."

Lou laughed, "No, she really didn't."

"Ladies." Tompkins said tipping his hat as he went to mount his horse to return to town.

The two women stood on the porch watching them ride away. The devil woman was gone. She had fixed things in town for her and Buck. Sam and Emma were moving to town, few more weeks they'd be here permanently. Rachel would be the new teacher, her siblings could go to a real school. She was free to marry Buck when the time was right. Lou put her hand to her stomach, in just a couple more months she'd be a mother. Things were looking up. At least she thought they were until Teresa's scream filled the air.

"Teresa!" Lou yelled, bolting off the porch and running as fast as she could towards the barn. She could see Rachel right behind her, Buck, Jeremiah, and Teaspoon rushing towards them from the field they were working in.

Lou rounded the corner of the barn, looking wildly around for her little sister. She found her passed out on the ground in the middle of the barn, an Indian kneeling beside her, his back to Lou, his hand to Teresa's throat. "Get your hands off my sister!" Lou hollered wishing she still wore her gun.

The Indian slowly got to his feet, turning to face Lou just as Buck arrived, his gun drawn. The middle aged Indian smiled when he saw Buck. "Hello little brother."

"Red Bear." Buck said with a smile, holstering his pistol. Buck moved across the barn to his brother embracing him before he pulled away and looked down at Teresa. "What happened to Teresa?"

"I'm afraid I startled her. She screamed and then fainted." Red Bear said looking down at the girl then up at Lou who had moved closer. "You sister is uninjured."

Lou knelt beside Teresa and shook her gently, "Resa, sweetie, wake up."

Teresa's eyes fluttered opened, going wide at the sight of Red Bear behind Lou. "It's alright 'Resa. This is Red Bear, my brother." Buck told her as he too knelt beside the young girl, his hand on Lou's back.

"I'm sorry I frightened you little one. I had to hide until the white men were gone." Red Bear said in explanation as to why she had found him in one of the stables.

Teresa sat up, "It's alright. I just weren't expecting you is all."

Buck stood and helped Teresa to her feet and then Lou. His hand staying on the small of her back, "Brother this is Lou."

Red Bear looked Lou up and down, his eyes lingering on her rounded stomach before looking over at Buck. "It seems I am late."

"Late? What do you mean?" Lou asked confused.

"You have already married my brother. You are with child." Red Bear told her.

"We are not married yet brother. I wanted to send for you, to have you come to bind us together." Buck told him.

"You are not bound already? She is great with child. Do the whites not frown on this?" Red Bear asked confused.

"The child is not Buck's, the man who fathered it abandoned me before he knew." Lou told him. She wasn't sure how to explain that she was married before but really wasn't, would Red Bear understand. He spoke English well, but he was still confused by some words.

Red Bear looked confused. "I not understand. The bald one came to me in a vision. Told me to come. Told me my brother had found a woman and that you would bear his son."

"Bald one?" Buck asked, his face paling.

"Yes … the one you called brother. He is among the spirits now. He came to me, he could speak to me."

"Ike." Buck breathed, his jaw clenching, his muscle ticking as he tried to get control of his emotions. "He sent you here."

"Yes. But the way he spoke, I thought you would be with child soon, not already, not with another's child." Red Bear said looking at Lou.

"Brother, I may not have fathered the child Lou is carrying, but he is my son." Buck told him.

Red Bear smiled, "I understand now. We should perform the ceremony soon. I must return to our people. It is dangerous for me here."

"Yes of course… I mean if that is what Lou wants." Buck said looking at Lou with a soft smile.

"You should know the answer to that Buck." Teresa spoke up, having been forgotten about up till that point.

"Yeah Buck! Honestly how could you think otherwise as loud as y'all are at night." Jeremiah said then.

"Miah!" Lou yelled, her face turning crimson right along with Buck's as Teaspoon, Rachel, and Red Bear laughed.

"What's he, mean by that?" Teresa asked in perfect innocence.

"Never you mind." Rachel told the young girl as she tried to get her laughter under control.

Lou was mortified, how did her little brother know of such things at his age? And God they really did need to be quieter.

"It seems you are already one then little brother, but I will still say the words for you. There is a creek just over the hill there," Red Bear said pointing towards the hill. "I shall go and prepare, meet me there when the sun is just beginning to go to sleep."

"Alright brother." Buck said, with a smile. He was going to be joined to Lou, she would truly be his, at least in the Kiowa way.

Red Bear retrieved his pack from the stall he had hid in and pulled something from it, "My wife sent this for you little mother." he said handing it over to Lou. "and for you Brother." He said pulling out another bundle for Buck.

Buck took it with a little nod to Red Bear as he watched his brother leave the barn. "What is that Buck?" Jeremiah asked looking at the bundle in Buck's hands.

Buck opened the small bundle to reveal an eagle feather, with beads and fur. "What's that?" Teresa asked looking at the odd gift. Buck smiled, "It's for me to wear in my hair for the ceremony. What did Morning Star give you, Lou?"

Lou looked down at the bundle in her hands, it was much larger than Buck's had been. She unwrapped the fur to reveal an almost white buckskin dress, intricate bead work on it. "It's beautiful." Lou said as she held it up against her chest. "I'm not sure it will fit though, not with this belly."

Buck laughed, "It has ties on the side Lou to adjust the size."

Lou looked down at it, noticing the lacing at the side, "It's almost like a corset."

"Louise! You don't mention unmentionables in mixed company." Teresa scolded, causing Lou to roll her eyes. Her sister was so prim sometimes.

"Come on Lou, we best get lunch on the table, so we got plenty of time to get you all fixed up before your wedding." Rachel said then.

The family went inside and had lunch. After which Buck left the house to go bathe and prepare himself before his marriage. He wanted to pray to the spirits. He wanted to somehow thank Ike for sending Red Bear. He didn't know how it was possible, but he knew Ike was still with him, still watching out for him.

After lunch, Rachel had Teaspoon bring in the metal bath tub, then sent him and Jeremiah out to finish chores up, leaving just the females alone inside. After filling up the tub, Rachel helped Lou wash her hair. "Nervous?" Rachel asked as she worked a lather into Lou's tresses, her hair having grown out quite a bit in the past months.

"Excited. Buck is truly going to be mine Rach." Lou gushed, her cheeks stained a pretty pink.

"That boy has always been yours Lou, now that I look back, I don't know how any of us missed it. He's always been there for you. And you … you've always been there for him as well." Rachel told the young woman.

Lou smiled sadly, "I know … I wish I had known sooner."

"I know sweetheart and so does Buck." Rachel said, as she poured water over Lou's head washing the soap out. "Would you like to soak for a little while?"

"Just for a bit." Lou answered, Rachel leaving her alone to enjoy her bath.

Sometime later, Lou was out of the bath and sitting in Rachel's room in front of her vanity, a house coat her only cover. Rachel stood behind her brushing her hair, trying to figure out what to do with it. "Rachel just leave it down." Lou finally said after the fifth style Rachel tried.

"Louise you can't get married with just your hair hanging down." Rachel argued.

"Why not? It's just gonna be us out there. Why should it matter?" Lou asked, shaking her head slightly.

"Indulge me?" Rachel begged.

"Fine … but hurry up, it's almost time." Lou relented.

As Rachel tried yet another style, a knock sounded on the door. "Come in?" Rachel called, the door opened to reveal Teresa's sweet face.

Teresa slipped into the room, closing the door behind her. "I brought these. I thought we could braid them into Louise's hair." She said, holding up a small bouquet of wild flowers.

"Teresa you are a genius." Rachel breathed out, taking the flowers from the young girl.

The two worked together and managed to weave the stems of the flowers into Lou's hair, two short braids, starting at the top of her head on each side and working down. Flowers from top to bottom. "Perfect." Rachel breathed out when they were finished.

Lou looked at herself in the mirror. Not her usual style but she liked it. "It's beautiful. Thank you Resa for thinking of it. And thank you Rachel."

Rachel smiled, squeezing Lou's shoulders. "Let's get you in that dress."

After a bit of a struggle they managed to get the dress over Lou's belly. Even with the laces the dress was almost too tight. But it was so pretty. Lou looked down at her bare legs and feet, the dress only hit her calves. "I have no shoes to wear with this."

"Go barefoot." Teresa told her.

"I guess I can do that. I wouldn't want to offend though." Lou said, gnawing her lower lip.

"It will be fine Lou." Rachel told her, "It's time."

Lou swallowed suddenly nervous as she rose from the seat, her arm hooked in Rachel's, Teresa trailing behind them as they left the house and began walking towards the creek. Teaspoon and Jeremiah had already gone ahead. Buck should be there too. As they topped the hill, Lou spotted Buck with his brother standing before the creek. Even from the distance, Lou could see Buck's eyes lighting at the sight of her. He began walking towards them, taking her a hold of her hand when he reached her.

Buck looked down at Lou's bare feet, arching an eyebrow at her, "I didn't have shoes that would match." Lou admitted blushing.

"It's alright Lou." Buck said nodding his head towards his own bare feet. Together they went to stand before Red Bear.

"Face my brother and join hands." Red Bear told Lou.

Buck reached out his hand for Lou, she placed her hand in his. Red Bear started chanting as he wrapped a beaded cloth around their join hands, he walked around them waving sage smoke around them as he continued chanting. Buck looked Lou in the eyes, mouthing the words I love you to her. Lou smiled and mouthed the words back as Red Bear raised his hands over their heads, speaking in Kiowa, his hands closing over their joined hands, shaking them. He spoke a few more more words before Buck leaned in and kissed Lou on the cheek. Lou just smiled, because she had no idea what had been said. Red Bear unwrapped their joined hands and presented the cloth to Buck. Buck clasped Red Bears arm, Red Bear matching the movement. "Thank you, my brother." Buck told him.

Red bear broke the contact, turning to Lou, he placed his hands, on Lou's belly. "You shall bear a son in two moons. He shall be strong like his mother. You shall carry many more children, but will not birth them all. The spirits shall make it up to you, you shall have two children at one time after you lose two."

Lou could feel tears streaming down her cheeks at his words. Her eyes found Buck's a look of deep sorrow on his face. She knew he believed Red Bears words. And she believed them too. She was destined to miscarry at least two babies. "Are you sure?" she whispered.

"I'm sorry little mother. You have a fruitful womb, but something will cause you to lose two babies." Red Bear told her.

Lou just bowed her head as Buck wrapped her in his arms. He knew Lou would have a healthy baby boy but after that, he knew they would suffer loses and it would hurt. But he would be there for Lou, they would make it through it.

The family returned to the house with Red Bear, eating a simple supper before retiring for the night. Red Bear would sleep in the barn. He told them he would be gone before first light. And in the morning when they woke he was already gone.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

It had been almost two months since Red Bear had come and gone. Almost two months since they had been rid of that she-devil. And it had been almost that long since Lou and Buck had been together. Lou was just miserable, she felt huge and ugly. None of her clothes really fit, her shirts barely buttoned, her skirts only staying up because of her stomach. She had taken to wearing her shirts untucked, so the tails would hide the fact that her skirts weren't fastened. It was too damn, hot. She was grumpy and constantly biting people's heads off. And poor Buck, he had tried to love her just last night and she ripped him a new one over even suggesting it. Lou felt so bad about it when she woke up this morning and Buck was already gone, his side of the bed cold.

Tears sprang to Lou's eyes, she just wanted to cry. She just wanted Buck to hold her but she had been so mean last night. Lou struggled to sit up in bed, swinging her feet over the side, she looked down. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen her feet. But she knew they were swollen, she could feel how tight the skin was, not to mention her shoes didn't fit right now either. She had taken to just going around the house bare footed and she sure didn't go into town this close to her time. Lou managed to get out of bed and changed into her clothes, her night dress she left draped over the end of their bed. Lou padded out of the room, the house was silent. "Rachel? Teresa?" Lou called as she waddled into the kitchen and frowned. Nobody was there.

Lou wandered out onto the porch and looked around, no signs of anybody out there either. "Rachel? Teresa?" Lou called, no answer.

Lou stepped off the porch and headed to the barn, she could hear a light hammering sound the closer she got. She entered the barn, stopping to let her eyes adjust to the dimmer light. The hammering sound coming from the back of the barn. "Buck?" She called out in question, not sure who was in the barn.

The hammering sound stopped, Buck poking his head around the corner of the end stall, a smile on his face when he saw her. "Good mornin' beautiful." Buck called as he walked towards her, taking her in his arms to give her a soft kiss.

Lou sighed happily, as she cuddled against Buck's chest, "I'm sorry I was so cranky last night."

Buck chuckled, "I'm sure I deserved it, honey."

"No, you didn't… you just wanted to love me … and I'm just miserable, I'm fat, and cranky, and hot. And my back is killing me." Lou complained, putting her hands on the small of her back to try to work out the weird tight feeling.

"You're not fat Lou, you're pregnant. Very pregnant." Buck told her, a smirk on his face.

"Where is everybody?" Lou asked, as she looked around the barn and noticed the buckboard and Teaspoon's horse was gone.

"Rachel and the kids rode out to visit with Emma, and Teaspoon went into town to talk to Sam. Think they were inviting them out to dinner tonight." Buck told her, as he turned her around to massage her lower back.

"Whatcha working on in here?" Lou asked, her eyes closed enjoying the massage.

"A surprise." Buck whispered in her ear.

"Can I see?" Lou asked, excitement in her tone.

"Well it's not quite done, but you know I can't say no to you." Buck told her, kissing the top of her head.

Buck stepped behind Lou and covered her eyes with one hand, the other on her back as he guided her towards the end stall. Once there he dropped the hand over her eyes, "You can look."

Lou opened her eyes and gasped. There before her was a beautifully carved baby crib. A mallet sitting on the stool beside the unfinished crib, Buck still had to finish tapping the curved feet into place. "Buck… it's beautiful." Lou breathed, her hands ghosting over the carvings. She smiled as she looked at the carvings of horses, eagles, and their creek. Then her eyes landed on the symbols carved into the head of the crib, her fingers tracing them. "What do these mean?"

"It means 'May the Great Spirit watch over this child'," Buck told her, his arm around her back, his hand on the side of her stomach.

Lou turned in Buck's arms, her hands going to his face. "This has to be the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me… besides you going to get my siblings. Thank you, Buck, I love it. And I love you."

Buck reached out his hand and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Lou's ear, "I love you Lou, and I intend to spoil you rotten, every chance I get." Buck leaned forward and gently kissed Lou.

Lou sighed softly as Buck pulled back, then winced as that strange pain returned to her back. "Lou are you alright?" Buck asked noticing her face.

"Yeah, it's just my back. It keeps hurting." Lou told him.

"Is it constantly hurting or is it coming and going?" Buck asked, his eyebrows knitting as he wrinkled his forehead.

"Coming and going, it's pretty annoying actually. Wish it would just make up its mind." Lou grumbled.

"Umm Lou … I think you might be in labor." Buck told her, his hands on her stomach as he felt a strange tightening of her muscles.

"What? No, I'm sure I just slept funny is all, baby is not due for another couple weeks." Lou waved away the suggestion. "I think I'm going to go get a shower and cool off. Care to join me?"

"Don't have to ask me twice." Buck replied, concern still etched across his face.

They were about half way across the yard when Lou doubled over in pain, her hand on her stomach as she cried out, fluid gushing from between her legs. "Oh hell." Lou muttered looking down at her wet skirts.

"What do I do?" Buck asked starting to panic, his arm around Lou's back.

"Help me inside Buck, I need to get out of these clothes and into my nightdress." Lou told him, surprisingly calm.

Buck scooped Lou up into his arms and rushed her inside and to their room. He quickly shed Lou of her garments and slipped the nightdress over her head before he put her into the bed. Another contraction hit Lou hard, she screamed out in pain. "I need to go get help!" Buck cried, fear all over his face.

"You can't! You can't leave me Buck." Lou hollered as Buck started backing towards the door.

"You need help Lou… I don't know what to do." Buck reasoned.

"Buck you delivered a baby before… there's no time…." Lou was beginning to pant, another contraction going through her body. "Get towels, a lot of them… and hurry Buck."

Buck rushed from the room, grabbing up every towel in the linen closet before rushing back to Lou's side. She had scooted herself up against the headboard of their bed, her knees bent up, "Put some of the towels under me Buck." she told him.

Buck crossed the room and put several towels under Lou as she raised herself up enough for him to slid some under her bottom to protect their bedding. Lou was gripping the headboard, her knuckles white. She was breathing hard. "Lou, I need to check to see if the baby is coming." Buck told her, as he lifted her gown up, his hand going to her center. The other hand on her abdomen trying to determine where the baby was at.

Lou screamed when another contraction hit her, they were barely a minute apart. "Buck I gotta push." Lou panted.

"Push when the next pain hits Lou." Buck told her.

Another wave was starting and Lou began to bare down, "That's it, Lou, push. Push." Lou sagged against the back of the bed catching her breath when the contraction ended.

"I can't do this Buck." Lou cried, her hair covered in sweat.

"Yes you can, sweetheart. Now Push!" Buck told her as she cried out in pain. "Push Lou, Push."

Buck looked between Lou's legs, "I can see the head Lou. A few more pushes."

Lou gritted her teeth and bore down with every ounce of strength she possessed as the next wave hit her. And then the baby was out, in Buck's waiting hands. "The baby?" she breathed out.

Buck held the baby in his hands, using his fingers he cleaned out its mouth. It wasn't crying. Buck popped the baby lightly on the bottom and a loud cry filled the air. Buck was able to breathe again. "A boy Lou." Buck told her as he cleaned the baby up with the towels.

Buck took his knife out of his boot and cut the umbilical cord and tied it off, wrapping the baby up in a towel before handing him to Lou as he cleaned up the after birth. He needed to get the sheets off the bed and change Lou into a clean garment, but he couldn't just yet. No he wanted to enjoy this moment, watching the love of his life hold her new son, their new son.

"He's beautiful, Lou." Buck told her as he stood beside her.

Lou looked at the little face before her, blue eyes shining up at her. He was perfect. "We have a son Buck. What should we call him? Ike?" Lou asked looking up at Buck.

Buck smiled softly at Lou, he loved that she wanted to name the baby after Ike but how did he tell her he wanted to name his actual first son Ike without upsetting her. This baby was just as much his even if he didn't father it. "Lou … I love that … but..."

"But you want your first blood born son to be called that." Lou finished for him.

"I'm sorry… it's not that I don't … this is my son." Buck tried to explain.

"Buck, I understand. It's alright. I know you consider him your son. So what do we call him?" Lou asked.

Buck thought for a few minutes. What do they call him? Noah? No. James? No. William? No. Sam? Nothing sounded right. Buck thought about all of the boys, all of the family they had made while they were riders for the Pony Express. And it hit him, the perfect name. Something that honored all of them.

"Rider." Buck said, with a little smile.

Lou looked up at Buck, understanding in her eyes. "It's perfect."

At that moment Rider let out a loud wail, "What's wrong?" Buck asked panicked.

Lou chuckled, "He's hungry." With a little help from Buck, Lou got Rider to latch on.

She had just started feeding the baby, when Rachel and the children arrived home. "Louise?" Rachel called as she entered the house. "Emma came for a visit!" she called.

"Rachel! Emma! In here!" Buck hollered sticking his head out the door to their room.

Something in his voice had the woman rushing to them, skidding to halt when they saw Lou with the baby in her arms.

"The baby was coming too quick, I couldn't go for help." Buck explained when the woman sent surprise looks over to him.

"You go on out and get cleaned up Buck, boil some water for the soiled clothes." Emma told him, "We'll take care of Lou, get her cleaned up."

Buck walked over to the bed and kissed Rider on his little forehead, before kissing Lou. "You did so good, honey. I love you. I'll be back soon."

Several minutes later, Buck had cleaned up and had the water boiling. Teresa and Jeremiah sitting at the kitchen table asking him tons of questions.

"When can we see the baby?" Teresa finally asked.

"Soon. Emma and Rachel were helping Lou get cleaned up. Having a baby is messy." Buck told them, just as Rachel walked in, an arm full of bloody towels.

Teresa paled, "I'm never having a baby."

Jeremiah laughed, "Reckon you ain't never gonna get married then."

"Why do I have to have a baby to get married?" Teresa asked her brother.

"You don't, you have a baby cause your married. That's what happens." Jeremiah told her.

Teresa tilted her head to the side, thinking. "Rachel … you're married but you ain't got a baby. And so is Emma and she ain't got any babies."

Rachel turned to look at the girl, "No we don't have any babies, God has not seen fit to bless us with those."

"So just cause you get married don't mean ya gotta have any babies?" Teresa asked the older woman.

"No, it doesn't, however, the chances of having a baby when you get married are very good." Rachel explained.

"Do you have to be married to have a baby?" Teresa asked.

"Maybe we should talk about something else." Buck suggested.

"But I wanna know how you have a baby so I know how to avoid it." Teresa whined.

"Stupid, ya gotta have a man for one. You know how the horses have babies. And remember the dog at the orphanage. Same thing for people." Jeremiah explained.

"JEREMIAH!" Buck seethed, through clenched teeth.

Teresa wrinkled her nose. "That's disgusting."

Rachel's belly laugh filled the kitchen at the little girl's response. Buck just shook his head. "Come on, let's go see if Lou is ready for us."

The three got up from the table and returned to Buck and Lou's room, Emma opening the door at Buck's knock to let them in. The children stood there staring at the little bundle in Lou's arms.

"He's so cute Louise!" Teresa gushed, cooing over him like her dolls.

"Kinda wrinkly." Jeremiah muttered, causing Emma to giggle.

"So what are you two going to call this perfect little boy?" Emma asked as Rachel came back in the room.

"Rider." Lou responded, with a look at Buck.

"I like it, I think it honors the whole family." Emma told them, her arm around Buck's waist.

A short time later, Teaspoon and Sam made it out to the ranch and were beyond surprised upon finding they had a new grand baby boy. Teaspoon was positively over the moon about being a pappy. Sam teased Buck about missing his calling, he should have been a midwife.

While Lou and the baby were sleeping Buck, with the help of Emma and Rachel, finished up the nursery. Buck carrying in the now completed crib. Emma laying a little quilt she had made for the baby in it. Rachel putting all the new nappies handy, new curtains hung in the window. A rocking chair in the corner, little knitted booties on top of a dresser. A carved pony sitting on the dresser for when Rider was a little bigger. A thick fur on the wooden floor. And hanging on the wall, a hand drawn picture of their family and Ike's self portrait.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. And Cheri this story maybe wrapping up but I do have a sequel in mind for it. Plus I've got bunnies for many more stories. After years of not being able to write anything my muse has returned in full force. Anyway let me know what y'all think. And I know people are going to question the sped in which Lou give birth in this chapter. I figured Lou has probably been in labor for several hours if not longer, just not realizing it. Plus the birth probably in fact took a couple of hours, which i know isn't clear. Anyway hope y'all enjoyed. And yes Red Bear had to go and ruin the good mood of the wedding, tho if it was me, I'd rather be warned then get my hopes up only to have them destroyed.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 **

Lou sat on the porch rocking baby Rider. Buck was teaching Teresa how to ride a horse. Rachel was in the kitchen getting lunch prepared. Jeremiah and Teaspoon were off doing who knows what. Those two were always getting into some kinda mischief. Lou looked down at the sleeping baby in her arms, at just over a month old, it was pretty clear who he was going to favor and it wasn't her. Lou didn't know how she felt about that, she had wanted Rider to look more like her, so she didn't have the constant reminder of the man who had left her, but then Rider was Kid's and it was almost like Kid was still apart of their family. True she had been so heartbroken and furious at him for leaving her, but he was still family. She found herself thinking about the boy she had loved … had that boy really existed? She had always thought he was loyal to a fault, but he had not been loyal to her. Lou looked from the sweet face of her baby to where Buck stood, holding a training lead, as he walked Spirit around the corral, Teresa on its back.

"You know Rider, you're lucky. Not everybody gets such a good daddy like you. Mommy's own daddy was a mean abusive drunk, who was into some pretty shady things. And you're daddy's daddy wasn't a very nice person. But your daddy … he's the best." Lou whispered to her son. "And you know why? Because he chose to be your daddy even though he didn't have too. He'll always be there for you little one, no matter what. Your daddy will love you and protect you with everything he has." Lou's eyes lingered on Buck's form.

Lou licked her lips as she took him in, his sleeves were rolled up to just below his elbows, his shirt had the first three buttons undone. He didn't have on a long john top underneath, so Lou could see his chiseled chest every time the breeze would blow, pushing his shirt open. Lou rubbed her legs together. She longed to be in Buck's embrace, to feel him in her. But the doctor who had come out to check her and the baby right after he was born had said no relations for at least three months, she needed to heal. But Lou felt fine, the birth had been relatively easy. It had only taking a little less than two hours for Rider to be born once her water had broken. According to Emma, Lou had probably been in labor since the day before, just had not realized it, thinking it was only a back ache. She wanted Buck. She wanted to make love to her husband. She wanted everybody to know that he was her husband. Had they not waited long enough?

Buck looked towards the house, he felt eyes on him. He smiled when he caught sight of Lou rocking Rider on the porch. Buck's lips curved up into a lopsided smirk when he saw her biting her lower lip, as she gazed at him. He knew what she was thinking. Buck decided to mess with her some more. His fingers went to his shirt buttons and undid the rest, pulling it from his pants so that it was hanging completely open. He chuckled, when Lou licked her lips, shifting in her seat.

"Buck, can we go out of the corral now?" Teresa asked at that moment.

"You think you can handle Spirit?" Buck asked the young girl.

"Yeah! Can I please take him for a ride, I'll stay near the house?" Teresa asked, a wide smile on her face.

Buck knew Spirit wouldn't throw her, he was well trained. "Alright, but walk him for now."

"Yippee!" Teresa called as Buck opened the gate letting her out, taking the training lead off.

"Not too fast now!" Buck hollered as Teresa kicked Spirit softly in the sides.

"Yes sir." Teresa yelled back slowly down a little into a slow trot.

Buck chuckled as he made his way to the porch and to Lou and the baby. Lou's eyes still lingering on his chest. "See something you like?" Buck asked as he stepped up onto the porch.

Lou looked him up and down, and pursed her lips like she was thinking about it, "eh… I guess you'll do." She teased.

"Oh, if that's the case." Buck said as he began to button his shirt.

"No!" Lou said a little too loudly, her face blushing at her loud outburst.

Buck smirked and unbuttoned the button he had just done. He knelt down in front of Lou, his hands on her ankles, slowly running them up her legs under her skirts, his fingers just brushing her thighs before running back down. "Has it been three months yet?" Buck asked her voice thick with desire.

"Hardly… Rider's not even two months yet." Lou groaned, she was positively aching.

"Why do we have to wait again?" Buck asked, resting his head on her knees as he sat beside her on the ground.

"Doc said I had to heal… but I feel fine. The birth wasn't even that hard." Lou told him.

Buck looked up at her, biting his lower lip for a second, "What if I was really really gentle?"

Lou chuckled softly, "Hmm….no reason we'd have to tell the doc."

Buck grinned, rising to kiss her quickly just as Teresa came back in sight. "Later?"

"Maybe we can sneak off to the swimming hole later, alone." Lou suggested.

"Look forward to it." Buck said huskily, before kissing Lou again.

Buck left Lou sitting there as he went to rein Teresa in. She needed to learn how to take care of a horse after a ride. Lou got up from the rocking chair and carried Rider inside to lay him down to finish his nap while she helped Rachel finish up lunch.

After lunch, Teaspoon took Jeremiah and Teresa into town. And Rachel agreed to watch baby Rider to give the young couple some time alone. Buck saddled Spirit and helped Lou up on to his back before mounting up behind her, his arm around her once again small waist. They rode out to the swimming hole that they had frequented when they rode for the express. It was secluded and unknown to just about everybody but them. The banks were lined with marsh grass and a few weeping willows, a small waterfall was on the backside of the little lake. And behind the waterfall a small cave. This is where Buck took Lou.

Upon arriving at the swimming hole, the two quickly stripped down to just their undergarments and dove in, the water feeling great on such a hot day. Lou laid back in the water and began to float, her bloomers and camisole translucent from the water, were plastered to her skin. Buck swallowed hard as he took in her curves, her nipples hard from the cold water. He could feel his erection straining against his long johns underneath the cool water.

Buck swam over to Lou, his arms coming up under her as he stood and picked her up, Lou's arm went around Buck's neck, one hand brushing his hair back from his face. Before she leaned in and began to nip at his jaw. Buck growled, low in his throat when she nipped at his ear. Buck waded with Lou in his arms to the waterfall allowing it to cascade over them as he passed underneath it and into the hidden cave.

Lou smiled when she opened her eyes, "I didn't know this was back here."

"I found it one day by accident. Me and Ike were out here, horsing around, I had shoved Ike hard, into the waterfall and he fell. He disappeared and I thought he must have hit his head so I rushed over to help only to fall through the waterfall myself to find Ike standing here just looking around at this secret place." Buck told Lou as he sat her down on her feet, the water barely coming to her knees here.

Buck kissed Lou, his hands ghosting over her body, hot against her skin through her wet garments. Lou whimpered when he began nibbling at her jaw and neck, down to her shoulder and collar bone. Down her chest to her nipple. Down her stomach to her apex between her legs, his teeth nipping at the fabric in his way. Buck pushed against her backing her up until she was pressed against the stone wall, his hands going to the ties of her camisole, freeing her from the sheer fabric. His mouth captured her breast, careful not to suckle them to much, he didn't want a mouthful of breast milk.

His hands lowered to her bloomers, pushing them from her hips, allowing them to fall into the water. Lou kicked them off. Her own hands going to Buck's long johns and doing the same, freeing him from the confines of the fabric. Buck's fingers gently caressed her center, making sure she wasn't sore or still tender from the birth. Lou moaned at the contact. She had missed this so much. Buck moved backwards, lowering himself into the water to a little ledge around the stone walls that acted like a seat, he pulled Lou with him, allowing her to straddle his lap. His mouth attacking her neck and ear. Hands caressing every inch of her.

Lou leaned forward, her lips finding Buck's ear, her tongue tracing the shell of it, flicking his earring. Her hands on his chest, her nails scraping him. Lou rocked her hips against Buck's erection that was pinned between their two bodies. "I want you inside me Buck." Lou breathed out as she rocked her hips again.

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you." Buck panted, he needed her like yesterday.

"Buck… I can't wait any longer." Lou moaned as she rocked her hips again, the friction hitting that little bundle of nerves.

Buck put his hands on Lou's hips and helped her as she lined herself up with Buck, so very slowly sinking onto him. They both groaned from the sensation. Even after given birth, Lou was still so very tight, but it was different and it was even better. Lou slowly began to rock her hips against Buck, Buck rocking his hips up into her. Their movements slow and deliberate. Never harsh or fast. Gentle and loving. Their mouths and tongues battling each other as their pleasure mounted. Lou was breathing hard, panting. She was already so close. Buck angled his hips slightly as he rocked up into her, hitting that secret spot. Lou moaned loudly, her head flung back as she rode him. Her breast bouncing in Buck's face. He could feel her walls tightening, "Buck..." Lou breathed, "so close."

Buck rocked his hips up into that spot again and again until Lou, screamed out his name, her walls clenching around him. His own climax being milked from him. He filled Lou with his hot seed, her name escaping his mouth like a prayer.

They sat, still melded together as they came down from their high, soft kisses and touches and whispered words of love filled the space behind the waterfall. When Buck had softened and had slipped from her core, they moved from each other and washed away the evidence of their love. They had to hunt down their undergarments as the water had washed them away from them. Once dressed again they returned to the ranch and to Rider, it was feeding time.

As Lou sat there nursing the baby, Buck watched her. She was his wife in the Kiowa world, but not in the whites. He wanted to change that. He knew that in the eyes of the town Lou had only been widowed roughly 6 months, he knew that the standard mourning period was one year. And he also knew he didn't care. He wanted Lou to be his wife in all ways. As he stood there and watched her he found he just couldn't wait any longer, "Marry me Lou?"

Lou looked up and smiled at Buck, "We're already married Buck, remember your brother came and married us." Lou teased, she knew what Buck was getting at but she wanted to hear it.

Buck got down on his knee next to her chair, a hand on her leg, the other touching her cheek, "Louise, I love you more than you can possibly imagine. You are my wife in the Kiowa way, but I want you to be my wife in every way. Marry me?"

Lou felt a huge grin take over her face, "I thought you'd never ask." she teased before she leaned forward and captured his lips with her own, pulling back she whispered, "Yes."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

A few days later Buck went into town, he had some business he needed to take care of. Tompkins had the door to the general store wide open, even though it was only early morning, it was sweltering. Buck was thinking it be a nice day to hit the swimming hole later with Lou...and maybe make use of the little cavern behind the waterfall again. Buck walked into the store, pausing a moment to let his eyes adjust to the dimness after being out in the bright sun.

"Mornin' Buck!" Tompkins called when he saw the Kiowa, while he helped a young woman with her purchases.

"Mornin' Tompkins." Buck said in greeting as he began to wander the store.

Buck paused and looked at a display of fancy smelling soaps and wondered if Lou would like them but quickly dismissed the idea when the smells reminded him of Kathleen. Buck made his way towards the ring case as the other customer left.

"How's Lou and that baby doing?" Tompkins asked coming over to Buck when they were alone.

"Doing good, Rider is growing. You should come out for a visit and see him. I know Lou would be glad to see you." Buck told him as he scanned the contents of the display.

"You finally gonna ask Lou to marry you?" Tompkins teased nodding his head towards the rings on display.

Buck laughed, "Actually were kinda already married, at least through Kiowa traditions."

"That so? Didn't know there was a tribe around these parts anymore." Tompkins stated, raising an eyebrow.

Buck knew what he was thinking, even though he had come to accept him, Tompkins still had a thing against Indians and he had good reason knowing what had happened to his wife. "No there aren't. My brother Red Bear came and performed the ceremony and then left right after to return to his people."

"Ah… so you're not going to have an actual white marriage?" Tompkins asked, he was trying not to sound racist, he had the upmost respect for Buck and Lou both and he wanted them to be accepted in town.

"Oh, we are. I asked Lou a few days ago." Buck told him, a little smirk turning up his lips.

"So, you need rings." Tompkins said with a grin.

"I need rings." Buck replied with a little nod of his head.

"See any you like? I can always order something different." Tompkins told Buck, knowing he'd point Buck in the right direction if Buck tried to pick a ring other than the one Lou had wanted.

Buck scanned the contents of the display again. None of them screamed Lou, at least until his eyes landed on a simple silver band with a little turquoise stone. Buck made a face as he debated with himself. It wasn't what one would call an engagement ring nor a wedding ring, but none of the others felt like Lou and there was even a matching silver band for him. Buck scratched the side of head and sighed, "I dunno… I like this one but it doesn't seem good enough for a wedding band."

Tompkins chuckled when Buck pointed to the exact ring that Lou had picked out for herself. "Buck, I have it on good authority that, that is the perfect ring for Lou."

"She picked it out, didn't she?" Buck asked an amused smirk on his face.

"Yup. Had me make sure I had a matching band to go with it." Tompkins told Buck.

Buck laughed at that, "Guess those are the ones then."

Tompkins took the rings from the case and brought them over to the counter to put in little bags. "So, when is the big day?" Tompkins asked as he figured up the total.

"I don't know yet. Probably just gonna have a small ceremony out at the ranch anyway. Just family and few friends, you'd be invited of course." Buck told him with a shrug.

"Ya ain't gonna be married in the church?" Tompkins asked a little surprised.

"Naw… the town may accept me for the most part, but they still don't like me in church with them on Sundays. I can't imagine they'd want me to get married there. Gonna be hard enough getting people to accept mine and Lou's marriage, might as well not add fuel to the fire." Buck explained, it pained him that he'd never truly be a valued member of Rock Creek, no matter what he did, he would always be just a half breed.

"I understand Buck." Tompkins told him, because he really did understand. He himself had not even wanted Buck to shop in his store not all that long ago. Some people would never accept him completely. "You just let me know when the big day is and I'll be out there."

"Thanks Tompkins … that really means a lot to me and Lou." Buck said as he passed over the money for the rings.

"You tell Lou, I'll be out to visit soon. See ya later Buck." Tompkins said shaking Buck's hand.

"Later Tompkins." Buck replied, tipping his hat as he made his way out of the store, the rings safely stowed in his pocket.

Buck made his way over to the Marshall's office to pay Sam a little visit, only to have Sam almost run right into him as he hastily exited his office. "Where's the fire Sam?" Buck asked laughing.

"Buck! Just the person I was coming to see. Step inside." Sam said, relief written all over his face as he opened the door to let Buck go in ahead of him.

Buck walked in the office and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of Sam's desk, Sam going around to his chair, "Is there a problem Sam?"

Sam sat down in his chair, propping his feet up on the desk and lighting a cigar before answering Buck, "Maybe."

"Maybe? Can ya give me a little more details Sam?" Buck asked leaning forward, arms resting on his knees.

Sam sighed and blew out a large puff of smoke, "I got more information on Ms. Devlin."

"And? She's gone, got fired for her lies." Buck said leaning back, crossing his foot over his knee.

"Thing is Buck … I'm not sure she's gone gone." Sam told him, causing Buck to sit up straight.

"What do you mean? Have you seen her? Do you have any reason to believe she's still in town?" Buck asked in rapid fire.

"Now I ain't seen her and ain't got any reason besides my own gut." Sam told him relaxing Buck a little.

"Then why do you think she's not gone?" Buck asked perplexed.

"Well the thing is, I got a little more information on the incident at the finishing school. Seems, Ms. Devlin had become obsessed with the other young lady involved, who was being courted by a wealthy young man. Devlin doesn't seem to take rejection well. It seems that the young lady did not agree to the bunking together." Sam explained.

"Wait… Sam are you saying Kathleen forced herself on that other girl?" Buck asked, his brows knitting together.

"That seems to be the case. Caused the poor girl to be kicked out as well even though she had done nothing wrong, her fella wanted nothing to do with her. Kathleen ruined the young woman's life because she was unhinged, obsessed. Much like the way she seems to be with you, Buck. I don't think we've seen the last of her. Not with everything y'all have told me she's tried since coming here. She's not well Buck. The director of the finishing school had recommended Mr. Devlin put Kathleen in an institution for treatment." Sam told him.

Buck rubbed his eyes with his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. Of, course he would have gotten involved with someone mentally unstable. "So, what do we do? We don't know if she's coming back, and I can't have her cause anymore problems for Lou."

"Unfortunately, ain't nothing we can do… not until she shows herself again. Just be on your guard Buck, that's all I'm saying." Sam said, blowing another puff of smoke out.

"Thanks Sam, I'll be on my guard." Buck said as he stood and made his way to the door, turning back, "Oh, I almost forgot why I stopped by, Rachel said to tell you and Emma to come out for dinner tomorrow night."

"Sounds good, we'll see y'all tomorrow. Emma's been on me about taking her over to visit that baby. She ain't been feeling to good herself and hadn't felt like she could ride over by herself." Sam told him, as he put out his cigar.

"Is she alright? She doesn't need a doctor, does she?" Buck asked, he hated Emma was sick.

Sam smirked, "Not for about six more months give or take, I wager."

"Emma's pregnant?" Buck asked, excitement lighting up his face.

"Maybe… don't know for sure. But I'm pretty positive she is." Sam told him a little smugly.

"Lou will be so excited if she is." Buck told the lawman.

"Keep it to yourself until we know for sure. Hate to disappoint anyone." Sam replied.

"My lips are sealed. See ya later Sam." Buck said, opening the door to leave.

"See ya tomorrow Buck." Sam called back as Buck walked out of the building.

Buck returned to his horse, his eyes looking all around him. Surely the she-devil wasn't stupid enough to come back here? Buck shook his head as he mounted up and headed home. He decided not to tell Lou about Sam's suspicion about Kathleen. No sense in worrying her over something that would probably never happen and if she did come back, Lou still had the letter revealing her past. No Buck wasn't worried at all.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

When Buck returned to the ranch, he found Rachel in the kitchen preparing lunch, Teresa was sitting at the table holding the baby. "Where's Lou?" Buck asked the two females.

"Louise went swimming. She wouldn't let me come." Teresa pouted.

Buck had to hide a smirk, he was sure the only reason Lou hadn't wanted Teresa to come was she didn't want people to know about their little secret hideaway. "Probably for the best Resa, that swimming hole is prone to snakes." Buck told her.

Teresa visibly shuddered. "I'll stick to the creek."

Buck chuckled, "Tell ya what. How bout I take you and Miah to the creek later for a swim?"

"Really?" Teresa asked, she'd never swam in a creek before. Actually, she'd never swam anywhere before. "Could you teach me to swim Buck?"

"You don't already know how?" Buck asked surprised.

"The nuns never took us swimming." Teresa explained.

"Oh … I hadn't thought of that. Yeah I'd be glad to teach you to swim." Buck told the girl.

Rider started to squirm in Teresa's arms, before he started crying. "Uh oh, I think he needs a new nappy." Teresa said as she held Rider away from her body so her dress wouldn't get wet.

"Why don't you go change him Teresa." Rachel said from the stove as she stirred a large pot of stew.

"I … I don't know how." Teresa admitted.

"Well come on, I'll show you." Buck said as he led Teresa from the kitchen and to the nursery where the other nappies were located.

Buck took Rider from Teresa and laid him on the floor, a fresh nappy close by as he knelt down in front of the baby. Buck quickly unhooked the pins holding the soiled nappy on. "Now ya gotta be quick or you might get a shower." Buck told the girl as he quickly pulled the wet cloth away and slipped the clean one under the baby's bottom. "And then you just fold and pin and you're done. Now if it had been a smelly one … that's when you go get Rachel or Lou." Buck told the young girl with a wink.

"Is that so Mr. Cross?" Lou asked from the doorway, her arms folding across her chest as she leaned against the door jam.

Buck looked up and smirked, as he picked the baby up and cradled him against his chest. "Yes, it is."

"Don't listen to him Resa… anybody can change a smelly diaper." Louise told her sister.

"I'd rather not." Teresa said, scrunching her nose up just thinking about the smell little Rider could make.

Buck let out a hearty chuckle, as he walked towards Lou, ruffling Teresa's hair as he passed by her, he leaned in and gave Lou a quick kiss on the cheek. "Tompkins told me he'd come out for a visit soon. And Sam and Emma will be out for dinner tomorrow night."

Lou looked Buck over, waiting, she knew what Buck had gone into town for and it wasn't flour like he had told her. She arched an eyebrow at him. "Yes Lou?" Buck asked knowing that look.

"Nothing … just wondering if you had something for me?" Lou asked.

Buck smirked as he handed the baby over to her, "Is this what you meant?"

Lou glared at him as Teresa giggled. "Not what I meant Buck."

"I have no idea what you could possibly mean then Louise." Buck teased as he slipped by her, kissing the top of her head.

"Buck Cross you best get back here!" Lou called after him.

"Gotta catch me first!" Buck called back as he slipped out the kitchen door.

"Here hold him." Lou told Teresa as she passed the baby to her little sister before she took off after Buck, the screen door slamming behind her.

"Louise!" Rachel shouted after the younger woman, shaking her head, a little smile on her lips despite her annoyance.

Lou's laughter was the only answer Rachel got. Buck took off towards the barn, Lou hot on his heels, both of them laughing, acting like a couple of teenagers, which they still were. Buck made his way up the ladder to the hay loft and hide just as Lou entered the barn. "I know you're up there, Buck!" Lou called from the base of the ladder.

Buck grinned but stayed silent, waiting. Lou slowly climbed the ladder, peeking over the top before she pulled herself up. She knew he was up here, but she didn't see him. "Well … huh." Lou muttered ready to turn and go back down the ladder.

A warm arm snaked around her waist, pulling her against a hard body. Buck's warm breath ghosting over her ear as he leaned in close, "Gotcha."

"Wasn't I supposed to be catching you?" Lou teased, caressing the arm that held her.

"You did that a long time ago." Buck told her as he began nuzzling the side of her neck.

Lou tilted her head to the side to give him better access, "Is that so?" Lou asked.

"Mmmhmmm." Buck mumbled against her shoulder, his hand splayed against her stomach.

"Mmmm …. that feels good…. But Buck … I gotta ….feed the baby soon." Lou breathed out as Buck began caressing her breast with one hand and the other touching her through her skirts.

"I'll be quick." Buck teased as he spun her around and dropped to his knees in front of her. Buck lifted her skirts and stuck his head under going straight for her core.

Lou moaned out loud as his tongue tasted her. Her legs sagging, barely holding her up. Buck withdrew long enough to help her to lay down in the hay before he was back under her skirts, tasting and teasing. It wasn't long before Lou was panting under him, already so close to the edge. "Buck wait … I want you in me when I come." Lou breathed.

Buck crawled up Lou's body, kissing her as her hands went to his buckskin pants, freeing him. A few quick strokes of her hand had him completely hard. Lou pushed his shoulders until he was laying on the hay and quickly straddled him. She lowered herself unto his hardness groaning as he filled her. "God Lou, you're still so tight." Buck breathed as she began rocking her hips.

Lou moaned as he rocked his hips up to meet hers. Buck slipped his hands up under Lou's skirts and rubbed her little bundle of nerves. He could feel her walls tightening around him, she was so close. Lou rocked her hips faster against Buck, before she leaned forward and captured Buck's mouth with her own to silence the scream of pleasure that wanted to escape as she was pushed over the edge. Buck following soon after her, filling her with his hot seed.

Lou broke the kiss, and moved off of Buck, fixing her skirts as she stood. Buck tucking himself back into his pants before he stood before her, pulling her against his chest to kiss her softly. "I love you Louise." Buck whispered as he slipped the ring, he had bought her onto her finger as he ended their kiss.

"I love you too Buck." Lou told him before she looked down at the ring, he had just slipped on her, she smiled. "It's perfect."

"I know … seems we have the same taste. Tompkins told me that was the one you had picked out after I picked it out for you." Buck told her with a little laugh.

"Where's your ring?" Lou asked looking down at Buck's empty finger.

"I'm waiting till the wedding… yours is playing double duty as an engagement ring and a wedding band. At least for now. I can have Tompkins order a plain band if you want another ring for a wedding band." Buck told her as they made their way down the ladder.

"Oh no this is perfect Buck. I just want the whole world to know your mine." Lou told him disappointed that he wasn't wearing his ring.

"Well as soon as we get married … again… I'll put it on. When do you want to marry?" Buck asked as he took her hand in his, bringing it to his lips kissing it as they walked back towards the house.

"Today?" Lou said a little smirk on her face.

Buck chuckled, "I think Rachel would kill us."

"This weekend then. It would give Rachel and me time to get food ready and invite a few people from town." Lou told him.

"You sure you don't mind not having a church wedding?" Buck asked as they entered the house, Lou taking the baby from Teresa and sitting down at the table, quickly unbuttoning her shirt so he could nurse.

"Buck… I already had one of those. I didn't care for it then and I sure don't care for one now. I don't need anything fancy, I just need you." Lou promised him, smiling over the top of Rider's head at Buck.

Buck just smiled as he sat next to her, his arm going around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder looking down at the baby in her arms. He leaned in and kissed Lou's cheek.

"You two set a date I take it?" Rachel asked as she handed bowls to Teresa to put on the table for lunch.

"Yeah … we want to get married Saturday." Buck told her.

"Saturday! That's two days away!" Rachel exclaimed.

"I know … I just don't want to wait any longer." Lou said.

"How am I supposed to get everything ready by then?" Rachel complained.

"Rach, I'll help cook the food and it's not like it's going be a lot of people. Just us, Sam and Emma, Tompkins and Matt if he wants to come." Lou told the stressed woman.

"OK … OK we can do this. I don't have time to sew you a dress. We'll have to get one in town. Emma can help me with the cake." Rachel went on in planning mode.

"Rachel, I've got a dress already." Lou put in.

Rachel and Buck just looked at Lou. When had she gotten a dress? Buck had not seen it. "What dress honey?" Buck asked.

"The one Red Bear gave me." Lou told him, her expression clearly saying he should have known that.

The corner of Buck's mouth lifted in a lopsided smirk, "I didn't know if you'd want to wear that for this wedding."

"Why wouldn't she, she looked so pretty in it. Just imagine how pretty it's gonna look now that she ain't got that baby belly no more." Teresa piped in.

"She doesn't have, not ain't got." Rachel corrected the young girl causing Teresa to stick her tongue out at Rachel behind her back. "I saw that young lady." Rachel scolded.

Teresa eyes widen in surprise when she looked over at Buck and Lou, "How did she see that?" Teresa whispered.

"I've got eyes in the back of my head and excellent hearing young lady." Rachel told her as she turned around and brought the pot of stew over to the table.

Buck smirked, he wasn't about to tell the young girl that Rachel had seen her reflection in the shiny metal of the ladle she had in her hand. "You should know by now Resa that you can't get anything by Rachel." Buck told the young girl.

Teresa just stared wide eyed as she nodded her head. "Teresa, will you please go ring the dinner bell to call in Teaspoon and Miah." Rachel told the girl.

"Yes ma'am," Teresa said as she got to her feet and went out on the porch, the clear ringing of the triangle filling the air.

Several minutes later, the sound of boots stomping on the porch filled the air before Teaspoon and Jeremiah came into the kitchen. The family gathered around the table and enjoyed the lunch Rachel had prepared for them. They told the two about the wedding plans for Saturday. Teaspoon said he'd go into town later or maybe in the morning to invite Tompkins and Matt. They could invite Sam and Emma tomorrow night when they came for supper. "No, I'm going need Emma's help with the cake. Can you see if Emma can come over in the morning?" Rachel asked Teaspoon.

"Alright Rach, I'll go after lunch. Get me a list of what yer gonna need and I'll get it while I'm in town." Teaspoon told his wife.

"Can I go with you Teaspoon?" Jeremiah asked.

"I suppose if yer sister don't mind." Teaspoon said.

Jeremiah looked over at Lou, "Actually I was gonna teach Teresa to swim in the creek this afternoon, thought you might want to join us." Buck spoke up before Lou could give him an answer.

Jeremiah looked back and forth between Buck and Teaspoon, clearly torn between wanting to spend time with both men. "I can always teach you later, just the two of us if ya rather." Buck said, noticing the boys, indecision.

A large smile spread across the young boys face, "That would be great! Can ya take me tomorrow? Just us?" Jeremiah asked.

"Sure Miah." Buck told the young boy, a pout appearing on Teresa's face.

"Now Resa, you're going with just Buck this afternoon. Jeremiah deserves to spend time alone with Buck too." Lou admonished her sister when she saw the look on the girls, face.

"Alright." Teresa mumbled.

Lou smiled over at Buck. He had completely stolen her siblings, hearts. They truly looked up to him and wanted to spend as much time with Buck as they could. They looked at Teaspoon like a grandpa, but Buck he was their big brother and father rolled into one. Lou didn't think Kid would have ever been able to fill that role for them. She thought back to the day she had discovered Kid gone, at the time she had thought it was the worst thing that had ever happened to her, now she knew it had been the best because it freed her for Buck. For her to find the greatest love of her life. Yes, that had been the best day of her life up until the day Red Bear had married her and Buck, and the day she had given birth to Rider. The next best day will be Saturday when she married Buck legally. And then the next best day will be the day she gives Buck a son or daughter of his own blood.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. To EarthDragon, yes I imagine the young girl's family supported her through it. And you are right facilities back then were less than to be desired. I half way expect Devlin disowned his daughter as a kindness, he couldn't keep protecting her but he could not send her to one of those asylums. Kathleen is mentally unwell, I don't know what exact diagnosis she would have but she has no feelings for Buck or that other girl. She sees something she that captures her fancy, be a pretty face, or something she considers exotic like Buck. She wants to own, possess them not love them. The lengths to which she will go to get what she want is scary. It's only a matter of time before she shows her ugly face again.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Saturday morning dawned bright and clear, it was a perfect day for the wedding. Rachel and Emma were already in the kitchen finishing preparations for the wedding that was to be taking place that afternoon. As silly as it sounded Buck had been forced to sleep in the tack room last night and was under strict orders to not see Lou before the wedding. Lou and Buck both thought Emma and Teresa were being silly but they humored them. Lou woke up cranky, it was the first night that she had been apart from Buck since they had made their feelings known for each other. She had missed being held in his arms all night. She had missed him getting out of bed to get Rider when he woke up in the middle of the night for a feeding. But after this afternoon, she would never have to be apart from him again, he would be recognized as hers. She could not wait.

Lou got out of bed, and slipped on a pair of pants and shirt, before going into the nursery to check on Rider, who was just beginning to stir for his morning feeding. Lou picked him up and changed his nappy before she opened up her shirt and started nursing the baby. Lou sat in the rocking chair by the window and looked out on the ranch. She could see Buck and Jeremiah in the field setting up an arbor for the ceremony. Teaspoon standing back and directing them. Lou smiled watching the scene before her. She didn't know whose idea the arbor had been or how they had managed to put it together in such a short time. Once Rider was finished nursing Lou went into the kitchen to see if she could help.

"Mornin' Emma, Rachel… y'all need any help?" Lou asked upon entering.

"Morning Loulabelle, you just sit down there and eat you some breakfast. Me and Rachel got this under control." Emma told her as she sat a plate of eggs, bacon, and a biscuit in front of her.

"You nervous Lou?" Rachel asked from her spot at the counter where she was making a bunch of finger sandwiches.

"No. Why would I be? And Rachel do you think you're making a little too many? There ain't gonna be that many people here." Lou asked indicating the large steadily growing pile of sandwiches.

"It's better to have too much, then not enough. And I just remember how nervous you had been when you married Kid." Rachel told her.

"That's because I knew deep down that I was making a mistake… I just didn't see it at the time." Lou explained, it that was the truth. Looking back at that day now, she knew her subconscious had been screaming at her to not go through with it. But she figured if she hadn't, she wouldn't have little Rider now. And that was something she just couldn't imagine.

Emma smiled sadly at Lou, she hated that she had to have gone through so much, but it had all worked out in the end. "You and Buck are so good for each other. And I couldn't be happier than I am right now, knowing that my girl and boy are going to have a beautiful life together."

Lou smiled at the woman who had become a mother to a ragtag bunch of misfits and orphans, a woman who never judged her for her decision to pretend she was a boy. A woman who never saw Buck's skin color. A woman who took extra time with Ike to make him feel special and loved. A woman who had made them all a family. "I'm so glad you're here Emma, I couldn't imagine this day without you here." Lou told her, reaching out and hugging the woman.

Rachel sniffled over by the counter causing both women to look at her, tears were in her eyes. "Rachel you alright?" Lou asked.

"I'm fine Lou … I know what you and Emma have is real, special… I just..." Rachel stated, her voice catching with emotion.

"Oh Rachel!" Lou cried, hurrying over to the other woman and hugging her tightly, "You know I love you too. You're the big sister I never had.

Rachel squeezed Lou back and was about to let go only to have Emma's arms wrap around them both. The three women stood there hugging and crying.

"Do I even want to know?" Sam asked coming into the kitchen at that moment.

The women broke apart laughing, wiping their faces with their hands. Sam just stood there looking at the women with a completely confused look on his face. "Alright then … Lou, I got the license ready to go, all filled out just gotta sign it after the ceremony."

"Thanks Sam … you do have Buck's full legal name on there right? Don't want a repeat of last time." Lou said laughing.

Sam chuckled, "Let's see…. Yup Running Buck Cross….good to go." Sam said holding the license out for Lou to see the names.

"Perfect." Lou replied.

"Louise!" Teresa hollered running into the kitchen.

"Where's the fire Resa?" Lou asked.

"You gotta come quick!" Teresa cried.

"What? What's wrong?" Lou asked starting to panic, had something bad happened to Buck?

Teresa rushed over to Lou and grabbed her arm pulling her along with her out the kitchen door, leaving the other three adults standing there looking at each other in concern. Teresa pulled Lou around the side of the house to the coral where lightning was standing in the middle. Lou looked but didn't see anything amiss, "Teresa what in the world is going on?"

Teresa grinned before she rushed away leaving Lou standing there staring after her. Lou scratched her head before turning to look at her horse, calling him over to her. Lightning came closer to her, allowing her to scratch his head. While she stroked the horses head an arm snaked around her waist, kissing her behind her ear. Lou smiled as she leaned back against Buck's chest. "I thought we weren't supposed to see each other."

"I bribed Teresa with the promise of an extra slice of cake." Buck said in her ear.

Lou smirked, "If I had known it was that easy, I'd have bribed her last night. I missed you."

Buck turned Lou in his arms so he could see her face, "I missed you too." he smiled his little signature lopsided smile before he leaned forward and captured her lips with his.

"Just a few more hours and everybody will know you're mine." Lou said after the kiss ended.

"It can't get here fast enough." Buck told her, reaching up and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I better go before Emma comes looking for me." Lou said sadly several minutes later.

"It's only for a little bit longer, then we don't ever have to be apart again." Buck promised with a quick kiss.

Lou slowly walked away from him, their hands holding on to each other for as long as possible, till it was just the tips of their fingers touching and then nothing at all. She returned to the house.

"You know it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding." Emma said snickering when Lou walked back into the kitchen.

"Does it count since we're already married?" Lou asked.

"Well I reckon it will be ok in this situation." Emma chuckled.

Lou left the kitchen, taking Rider with her as she went back to her room. She laid the baby down in the middle of the bed and crawled in next to him. Rider waved his chubby little fist in the air, babbling happily up at his mama. Lou still couldn't believe how perfect he was. Lou just laid there for a long time just watching the baby, until he fell asleep. Lou crawled out of the bed and decided it was time to start getting ready. The wedding would be taking place in just over an hour.

Lou slipped out of the pants and shirt she had put on that morning and slipped the buckskin dress Red Bear had brought to her on over her head. It went on much easier this time, and she had to tighten the laces at the side. Without the baby belly the dress hit much lower on her legs, almost to her ankles instead of her calves. She still didn't have shoes that would go with it, so she decided to go barefoot again. Lou sat in front of her vanity, and splashed some rose water on her neck before brushing out her hair. A knock sounded at her door. "Come in." Lou called.

Teresa poked her head in the room and smiled before she slipped inside shutting the door behind her. "You look so pretty Louise!"

"Thank you Resa." Lou replied smiling at her sister. "You want to help me with my hair?"

Teresa grinned before she walked over to her sister and began braiding her hair into a long braid draped over her shoulder. Teresa worked some flowers into the braid and a single eagle feather at the very end. "Buck asked me too." Teresa said at Lou's questioning look.

A short time later, another knock sounded on the door. Teresa went over and opened up to Jeremiah, "It's time."

Lou stood, her brother coming to her side to escort her to Buck's side. Teresa went and picked up the baby and together they left the bedroom and the house. Teresa hurried on ahead to stand where a small crowd was gathered. Lou was surprised by the amount of people. She had only expected Tompkins and maybe Matt to come besides the family. But the whole town council was there as well as a few other people from town that Lou didn't know all that well. Buck stood under the arbor with Sam. Lou smiled when their eyes met, Buck's face lighting up when he saw her. Jeremiah slowly escorted her to Buck, placing her hand in Buck's when they finally reached him.

"Y'all know why we're all here today, and I have to say I've never seen a more perfect couple except for me and Emma." Sam said with a wink over at his wife.

"Oh Sam." Emma said blushing, as people chuckled.

"Buck and Lou have decided to say their own vows so Buck go ahead." Sam told the crowd then nodded at Buck.

Buck swallowed hard, taking both Lou's hands in his. "Louise … you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You have accepted all of me, not just my white half. You have been there for me through some of the toughest times of my life, always supporting me. And I promise to always be there for you, to always support you, and to love you always. I love you."

Lou had to wipe away a tear before clearing her throat of the lump that had settled, "Buck, I never imagined love could be like this. You love me for who I am, you've never tried to change me. You have always been there for me. You brought my siblings home to me. You decided to be a daddy to Rider, when you didn't have to. If I could change just one thing, it would be taking so long to realize my love for you. I love you Buck now and always."

"You have rings?" Sam asked.

Lou looked down at her hand, where her ring was already sitting and then over at Buck as he produced two silver bands, smiling. Lou looked at him in surprise as she took the larger band from his palm. Lou held out her hand to Buck as he slipped it on her finger, "With this ring I thee wed."

Buck held his hand out to Lou so she could slip his ring on, "With this ring I thee wed."

"Well that about does it, you're married. You can kiss your bride Buck." Sam stated.

Lou grinned as Buck leaned in and kissed her, not breaking apart until people started chuckling. "Let me be the first to present Mr. and Mrs. Buck Cross." Sam said as they turned to the crowd who were clapping.

"We've got refreshments and cake back at the house, everybody is welcome to come, there's plenty!" Rachel called to the crowd.

The crowd made their way to the house, Lou and Buck leading the way. Tompkins pulled them aside once they made it to the house. "Well I have to say this was the most relaxed wedding I've ever been too. I happy for you two."

"Thanks Tompkins, it means a lot to us that you came." Buck said, shaking the man's hand.

Lou stood on her tiptoes and kissed the old man on the cheek, "Thank you."

Tompkins smiled blushing slightly at the unexpected affection from Lou. "I know I ain't always been the nicest person, especially to you Buck, but I hope you consider me a friend."

"Definitely." they both said.

Tompkins smiled before he left the couple alone. "I didn't think you were getting me a band." Lou said quietly to Buck after Tompkins left.

"I wasn't going to, at least not yet, but Tompkins brought it out here this morning." Buck told her.

Lou smiled looking over to where Tompkins was talking with Teaspoon, Matt, and Sam. "I never would have thought when we first met him that he'd become such a good friend to us."

"Me either, especially after the rough start I had with him… and you hit him with a frying pan." Buck said laughing at the memory.

"He deserved it that day. But I think he's made up for it." Lou snickered.

"Yes he has." Buck agreed.

The happy couple spent the next several hours visiting with the people that had come out to help them celebrate. Most of which apologized for something they had said or done to them at some point. After the food and cake had been ate and the last guest left, the family gathered together in the family room, just enjoying each others company.

"Loulabelle, Buck … I've got to tell ya something." Emma said a short time later.

"What is it Emma?" Lou asked, from her spot in Buck's arms, cradling Rider to her chest.

"Well I was gonna wait and tell ya, didn't want to take away from your special day … but I can't wait anymore. I'm gonna have a baby." Emma told them.

"Hot Damn!" Teaspoon called.

"A baby! That's wonderful Emma!" Lou exclaimed.

"Congratulations Emma, I know you'll be a wonderful mother." Rachel told her.

"I'm not gonna have to change more diapers am I?" Teresa asked, causing the adults to laugh.

"That wonderful news Emma. I think it makes this day even better." Buck told her.

"We need more cake to celebrate." Jeremiah stated.

"You've had enough cake." Lou scolded with a grin at the boy.

The family celebrated for several hours, not only Buck and Lou but Emma's news as well. When Buck was finally able to get Lou alone in their room, they were both too exhausted to even enjoy the wedding night. Buck helped Lou out of her dress and into a nightgown before stripping down to just his long john bottoms. They crawled into bed, Lou's back pressed against Buck's chest, his arms around her. Buck kissed Lou behind the ear. "Good night Mrs. Cross … I love you."

Lou rolled so she was facing him, "I like the sound of that. And I love you Mr. Cross."

Buck kissed her softly before tucking her under his chin, cuddled against his chest. It wasn't long before the two were sound asleep.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. Sorry for the delay in posting, I've been sick with the flu for almost a week it seems. it severely kicked my tail, but I'm on the mend now. And EarthDragon, perhaps kindness was the wrong word. I half way suspect that Devlin is the cause of all Kathleen's issues. **


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Buck awoke sometime in the middle of the night, he laid there quietly holding Lou to him unsure as to what had woken him. He listened for the baby, but did not hear anything coming from the nursery. Buck quietly slipped from the bed and padded out of the bedroom he shared with Lou to check on the baby. He found Rider sound asleep, his little fist curled next to his face. Buck smiled as he looked down at the sleeping infant who looked so much like Kid. He leaned over the baby and kissed him on the forehead before tiptoeing out and down the hall to check on the rest of the family. Teresa was snoring softly, one foot hanging off her bed from under the covers, Buck gently poked it back under and tucked the blankets back under her chin before leaving the girl sleeping. Next he went to Jeremiah's room, the boy was sprawled spread eagle on top of the covers, his face buried in the his pillow. Buck smirked as he looked at the young boy before closing the door quietly and leaving him to sleep. He paused outside of Teaspoon and Rachel's door and listened quietly, soft snores could be heard through the door, satisfied that all was well, Buck made his way to the outhouse.

As Buck slipped out of the house, he had the strangest feeling he was being watched, but he could see nothing. But the hairs on the back of his neck would not let up, so he went right back inside never going to the outhouse. From inside the kitchen Buck peered out the window towards the darkened barn, he knew he was being watched, he just knew it but there was no movement, no light, nothing to indicate there was anything amiss. Buck shook it off and went back to his room. The sun would be up soon so there was no sense in trying to go back to sleep, so instead he quietly dressed and strapped his gun to his hip before slipping out the front door, he hoped to sneak up to the barn and catch whoever unaware, but by the time he made it back out to the barn he found it empty.

Lighting a lantern Buck looked around the barn and found boot prints in the soft dirt below the loft ladder, Buck climbed up into the loft and found evidence of someone having been there. It appeared as though someone had been sleeping in the hay. Had someone from town crashed in the barn after the wedding? Buck climbed back down the ladder and examined the boot prints, they were small, too small to be a man's, a young boy perhaps … or a woman? Buck felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, surely not. Would Kathleen really be stupid enough to come out there? But that was exactly what Buck was thinking. He needed to tell Lou, he needed to make her aware of the possibility. And he needed to find out for sure just who had been in their barn last night and if they posed a threat to his family.

Buck blew out the lantern and went back inside, Rachel was just starting to make coffee, "Mornin' Buck, you're up early."

"Rachel …" Buck said, hesitating on whether he should say anything.

"Something wrong Buck?" Rachel asked noticing the look on the young man's face.

"I dunno Rachel … Something woke me and when I went out to use the outhouse, I felt like I was being watched. I went out to the barn after I came back in and dressed and got my gun to find someone had been in there, there's evidence of someone having slept in the hayloft, but the boot prints are too small to be a man's." Buck told her quietly.

"A runaway maybe?" Rachel asked.

"Maybe but unlikely … Sam warned me that Kathleen might still be in the area. I dunno if she'd be stupid enough to come around here but..." Buck said, with a shrug.

"Have you told Lou what Sam said?" Rachel asked.

"Told me what?" Lou asked walking in at that moment, going straight to Buck to kiss.

Buck pulled his wife to him and kissed her softly before breaking away and sighing, "Sam thinks Kathleen might still be in the area."

"So? She comes back to town I'll just let her secret be known." Lou answered going over to pour a cup of coffee.

"It's not that simple, Kathleen is not sane. And I think she might have been in the barn last night." Buck told her sitting next to her at the table.

"Are you sure?" Lou asked surprised.

"No … but someone was in the barn last night and the footprints I found are too small to be a man's." Buck explained.

"Well… I'm sure it was just someone passing through and if it was her, I'll deal with that devil woman." Lou said kissing Buck on the cheek before standing to go get the baby when he started crying from the nursery.

"Keep an eye out Rachel … I don't trust that woman." Buck warned, he had a sinking feeling that something bad was coming.

Little did Buck know that it was indeed Kathleen who had been in the barn last night. And the reason he had woken up was because at that moment Kathleen had been walking around their house trying to find a way inside. He had heard her trying to open the kitchen door which they had actually remembered to lock for a change. When he had gotten up to check on the sleeping baby, she had spotted him through the window as she walked around the house and had panicked. Rushing back into the barn just as he came out of the house. When he had gone back inside never leaving the porch, she had slipped out of the barn and had made her way to the swimming hole and to the little cave, she had seen Buck and Lou slip into just a few days ago. She'd hide out there until later when she felt it might be safe to return to the barn, the barn she had slept the past week in. She was leaning the family's routine. Granted the wedding had been a fly in the ointment, but she'd have Buck, she would wait until just the right time to make her move, but she needed to be more careful, she had been reckless last night. She couldn't afford to be that careless again.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. Sorry for the short chapter but I'm still recovering from the flu, my energy levels are nonexistent at the moment, so after 10 hour shifts at work, I just want to go to sleep when I get home. But I hope everybody enjoys the chapter and hope to have the next one to you soon.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

It had been one month since Buck had married Lou and during that time, things had been strange around the ranch. Buck felt like they were being watched constantly but he could never catch anybody. He didn't feel his family was safe in their own house but he couldn't prove anything was amiss. Teaspoon told Buck he was just being paranoid, there had been no evidence of anybody hanging around since their wedding night, but Buck knew they were being watched. He had tried changing up his routine some to see if he could catch whoever off guard but so far there had been no luck. And Buck was tired of it, he was tired of watching over his shoulder, he was tired of being on constant edge at night while the family slept. He had not had a good night sleep in a month. It was causing a strain between him and Lou as well. They had not really been intimate, since their wedding … how could they when they felt they were being watched. Buck had had enough, he was going to have Sam help him track down who was watching him, who he was certain was Kathleen. He had sent Teaspoon into town to fetch Sam. He had tried to send Lou as well, but she wasn't about to leave him out there by himself, Rachel and the children were at the schoolhouse.

"What is your plan Buck?" Lou asked after Teaspoon had left, as they sat at the kitchen table, Lou nursing baby Rider.

"I'm going to make myself vulnerable … if I'm right and it's Kathleen, I suspect she's been waiting until I'm alone." Buck told his wife, brushing a stand of hair behind her ear.

"And how are you going to do that? Say she comes for you, you won't lay a hand on her, she's a woman. How do you stop her from doing whatever she is planning?" Lou asked, clearly worried.

Buck smiled his little half smirk, "That's where you come in, honey. I may not be able to hit a woman, but I married a little spitfire."

Lou grinned, "Oh so I get to come to the rescue of the damsel in distress so to speak."

"I can be a damsel in distress for you to rescue." Buck teased.

"So how do we do this?" Lou asked as she passed the baby to Buck to burp while she buttoned her shirt back up.

"Carefully… you'll have to be watching from inside, but not make it obvious. Timing is going to be everything." Buck told her, standing to take Rider to the nursery to change his diaper.

Lou followed behind Buck, "I don't like this Buck… if she's as unstable as Sam thinks she is, she could be dangerous."

"She is dangerous, honey. That's why we have to take care of this now." Buck said as he pinned the clean diaper closed and pulled Rider's shirt down.

"Alright … I trust you Buck. We'll try this your way." Lou agreed taking the baby to lay him down in his crib for a nap.

Buck pulled Lou to his chest, "I need this to be over, yesterday. I miss you."

Lou wrapped her arms around behind Buck, laying her head on his chest over his heart, "I know… it's been too long."

"Soon, love. This will all be over and then you will have to beat me away with a stick." Buck teased, nipping at her ear.

"Promises, promises." Lou teased back, running her nails down his back, earning a deep groan from Buck.

Buck pulled away reluctantly. "Keep an eye out."

Lou nodded as Buck walked away from her. She watched quietly from the kitchen as Buck left out the kitchen door, a towel slung over his arm as he headed around to the side of the house to where the shower was. She watched as much of the yard as she could, waiting. After about five minutes she saw movement from in the barn. And then there she was, sneaking out of the barn and heading towards the shower where Lou knew Buck would be naked and under the water by now. She waited a few seconds before she slipped out of the house, walking silently as Kathleen disappeared around the side of the house. Lou tiptoed to the corner of the house and peered around the corner to where she could see Buck, his back to her and to Kathleen as he washed his hair. Kathleen stood just outside the shower, slowly undressing herself. Lou waited until the she-devil was in just her bloomers and chemise before she made her presence known.

She let out a roar as she rushed Kathleen, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

Kathleen let out a screech as Lou hit her, shoulder right to Kathleen's stomach, knocking her to the ground. Lou was on top of her, holding her down. "Get off me you bitch!" Kathleen screamed, kicking her legs off the ground.

"That ain't happening you crazy whore." Lou spat out, "You've been stalking us for a month if not longer!"

"I don't give a fig about you! It's Buck I want, he's mine!" Kathleen yelled, using her entire body to throw Lou off her, catching her hard in the stomach, causing Lou to double over as the air was knocked out of her.

Lou reared back and punched Kathleen right in the nose, causing it to instantly gush blood, "You are completely insane! Buck isn't yours, he never was. And the whole town is going to know just what kinda woman you are."

Kathleen launched herself at Lou, scratching and pulling at Lou's face and hair. Lou threw another punch knocking Kathleen flat on her behind. Kathleen flung her foot out catching Lou in the stomach again. Buck had had enough, he didn't care if Kathleen was a woman or not, nobody hurt his Lou. As Kathleen went at Lou again, Buck came up behind her and pinned her arms to her side, locking his hands around her upper arms in a vise grip as Lou punched her again. Kathleen crumpled, Buck the only thing holding her up just as the sound of horses came into the yard.

"Buck! Lou!" Teaspoon called out.

"Around here Teaspoon!" Lou called back, wiping away blood from the corner of her lip with the back of her hand.

Teaspoon and Sam walked around the corner of the house and saw the scene before them, Lou obviously a little rumpled, her lip busted, scratches on her face, her hair a mess and then Kathleen in just her bloomers and chemise, knocked out cold being held up by her arms by Buck, he only had on his pants, his hair dripping water down his back.

"What in the Hell is going on here?" Sam asked, looking between Buck and Lou.

"This hussy has been spying on us for a month or more. She tried to slip into the shower with Buck while he was washing his hair. I caught her and there might have been a few fists thrown." Lou told him.

"So trespassing and assault charges are in order then?" Sam asked, a grin spreading across his face.

"You should take her in right away Sam." Teaspoon said an evil grin on his face.

It wasn't until Sam walked over to Buck and took the girl from him and hauled her up over his shoulder carrying her to his horse that Lou and Buck began to understand. Sam slung Kathleen over the back of his horse, still only dressed in bloomers and chemise as he mounted up. "You'll have to come in and make a statement Lou." Sam said laughing.

"You two can take my horse." Teaspoon said to Buck and Lou. "I'll keep an eye on Rider."

Buck quickly put on his shirt and shoes and then helped Lou up onto Teaspoon's horse before mounting up behind her. They rode beside Sam as he rode back to town. Kathleen was just beginning to regain consciousness as they entered town, going right down main street. Kathleen's screams of protest just brought more and more attention to the group. As they arrived at the jail a large group had gathered to see what was going on. Sam slid off his horse and hauled the girl down, marching her straight into the jail, with Buck and Lou following.

"What the hell is going on?" Tompkins asked when he pushed through the crowd.

"That Devlin woman, has been trespassing on our land for over a month now, spying on us, sleeping in the barn, then when Lou caught her, they fought." Buck told Tompkins loudly so all those gathered could hear.

The crowd looked over at Lou, who looked like she'd been in a fight. "She's crazy." Lou mumbled.

"Lou… ain't it true she got thrown out of that fancy boarding school for doing something similar." Tompkins asked, giving Lou the opportunity to let Kathleen's secret be known.

"Something like that … but it don't matter no more." Lou said, deciding to be the bigger person. Kathleen was already ruined from her stunt today, there was no reason to bring up anymore about her past.

Tompkins just nodded his head as Sam poked his head back outside, "Lou, Buck, I need y'all to come in and make a statement."

Buck and Lou left the crowd standing around and went into the Marshall's office, closing the door behind them. Kathleen sat with her head in her hands on a cot inside the jail cell, her shoulder's shaking as she wept. "What's going to happen to her?" Lou asked almost feeling sorry for the she-devil.

"I'm going to send a wire to an asylum. Not sure if they will be able to help her, those places aren't the greatest, but she can't be left to her own devices. Next time she could seriously hurt someone or get herself into serious trouble." Sam said.

"I almost feel sorry for her." Buck said quietly.

"Me too." Lou agreed.

"Her father did her no favors by giving her everything she wanted and to teach her she's better than everybody else. She doesn't know how to take no or rejection. I hope the asylum can help her." Sam told them quietly. "Alright so what exactly happened today?"

After Lou and Buck explained everything to Sam, they left and returned home. Knowing they were finally free of Kathleen. They rode back to the ranch in silence but instead of returning to the house, they went straight to the swimming hole. As soon as Buck brought the horse to a stop, Lou slipped from its back and began slipping out of her clothes as Buck tied the horse to a branch. He watched her as she let her petticoat drop to the ground, leaving her in just her bloomers and chemise. Lou began wading into the cool water, looking over her shoulder at Buck, "You coming?"

Buck grinned as he quickly shed his clothes and rushed after her, causing Lou to let out a little shriek and giggle as she tried to run from him. She didn't get far before Buck had captured her in his arms, spinning her around to face him, his mouth capturing hers in a heated kiss. Lou began walking backwards, pulling Buck along with her as they went deeper into the water until he felt the water from the waterfall rush over him and then they were in their cave. Buck's fingers went to the ties of Lou's chemise and undid it, letting it fall into the water. His mouth descended along her neck and shoulders, nipping lightly. Buck lifted Lou into his arms, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his back. He rubbed himself against her core through their thin undergarments, causing Lou to moan loudly.

"Say you want me." Buck whispered huskily against her hot skin.

"Always Buck. Don't make me wait any longer." Lou breathed out, her core aching in need.

Buck lowered himself to the little shelf that ran along the edge of the cave, so that Lou was straddling him, her core pressed against his hardness. "Take what you want Louise." Buck said leaning back, his arms spread out to the side of him, opening himself up to her.

Lou bit her lower lip as she leaned forward and freed Buck from the confines of his long john bottoms, she moved so she could shove her bloomers down and off before she straddled Buck again. Her hand stroking him, lining him up with her entrance as she sank down onto him, moaning. Lou took Buck's hands, placing one on her breast and the other on her hip, her hands going to his chest to help her balance and keep her rhythm as she began to ride him. "That's it, Louise, take what you want from me." Buck groaned out thrusting his hips in time with her own.

"Everything I want everything." Lou said huskily as she could feel herself tightening around him. "Give me everything."

Buck thrust harder into her as her walls clenched around him, milking him. "It's yours Lou, all yours." Buck told her as his own climax was pulled from him, spilling his seed deep inside of her core.

Lou collapsed panting hard against Buck's chest as she came down from her high, her lips attacking his throat and shoulders. "God, I missed this." she breathed out.

Buck grinned as he felt himself harden inside her, he slipped out and moved so that Lou had her hands on the ledge, her back to him as he entered her from behind, his hand on her back. "Not as much as I missed this… I love being able to watch myself make love to you."

Lou could feel herself grow even wetter at Buck's words, the imagery it caused. "Tell me what you want Buck." Lou ordered, her voice sultry sounding.

"I want to be buried in you for the rest of my life, to fill you with my seed. I want to make you mine in every way possible." Buck told her his words matching each thrust.

Lou was panting under him, "I'm all yours Buck, only yours."

Buck bent over Lou's back, his chest pressing against her, his hand going around to rub her little bundle of nerves, "God I wanted to be buried inside of you so bad when you were fighting that devil woman. My little spitfire." Buck growled in Lou's ear.

Lou whimpered, she was so close. "Oh God Buck … right there."

Buck ground his hips against Lou's backside, nipping at her ear, "I want to hear you scream my name."

"Oh … oh God …. oh …. BUCK!" Lou screamed as Buck pounding into her from behind, his fingers rubbing fast at her bundle of nerves, pulling her climax from her hard.

"Oh Hell … LOU!" Buck called as his own climax was milked from him by her pulsating walls.

Buck pulled out of Lou collapsing against the wall, Lou turned so that she was cuddled against him as they came down from their highs. After several minutes of heavy breathing and hammering heartbeats, Buck looked down at the woman resting against his chest. "You are so beautiful … I don't know how I got so lucky."

Lou raised her head up to look Buck in the eyes, a soft smile on her face. "I'm the lucky one. I love you Buck Cross."

Buck leaned forward and captured Lou's lips in a soft kiss, pulling back after a few seconds. "I love you Louise Cross."

The two disentangled and pulled their undergarments back on after they had to search for them for a few minutes in the water. Wading back to the shore, they squeezed as much of the water out of their undergarments as they could before they dressed and returned to the house, just in time for Rider's afternoon feeding.

That night as they laid in bed, Lou put her hand to her stomach. She was hurting from the fight with Kathleen, she had a large bruise across her abdomen. As she laid there in Buck's arms she moaned as a sharp pain hit her. "Lou, honey you alright?" Buck asked, raising himself up on his elbow to look at her.

Lou's face was ghost white, her forehead beading with sweat, a grimace of pain on her face. "Buck … something is wrong."

"What is it?" Buck asked sitting up allowing Lou to roll to her back.

Lou's hands were on her stomach, as she moaned again. Buck turned to light the lamp on their bedside table so he could see her better, it was then that he saw the blood staining Lou's nightgown. "Lou! you're bleeding!" Buck cried throwing the sheets back to reveal a large puddle of blood under Lou.

Lou cried out in pain, double over. "Buck help me!"

Buck jumped out of bed, "RACHEL!" He yelled.

Several seconds later Rachel burst into the room, her eyes wide. "What! What's wrong?"

"Lou needs help. She's bleeding bad." Buck cried pointing to the bed where Lou was openly crying in pain.

Rachel rushed over to the bed and took in the sight of the blood and Lou's face. "Oh … oh no." Rachel whispered, tears springing to her eyes.

"Buck go fetch the doctor." Rachel told him.

"Why? What's wrong?" Buck asked panicking.

"Lou's having a miscarriage." Rachel whispered brokenly.

Lou let out a loud wail at her words and Buck felt his whole world stop spinning as he looked at his wife at the evidence of the life they had created together and lost. Tears fell from his eyes as he rushed out of the room and the house, going directly to the barn to mount his horse, not even bothering with a saddle. He rode like hell itself was after him as he went for the doctor. But there was nothing the doctor could do, by the time he had arrived, Lou had lost the baby. All he could do was give her something for the pain, and offer his sympathy.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. Hope everybody enjoyed this chapter, sorry it ended on such a sad note. Let me know what you think.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

It had been three weeks since Lou had lost the baby, and Buck's world had turned upside down. He blamed himself for the miscarriage, if he hadn't had Lou help him with Kathleen, she would never have gotten in that fight, she would never have been kicked in the stomach. And what's worse is Lou blamed him too… or at least he thought she did. She had barely spoken to him since that night. Though truth be told she barely spoke to anybody since that night. Buck found himself in the barn … again… he had spent a lot of time in there in the past three weeks. He sat in the back stall, his back pressed against the wall, his knees curled up to his chest as he cut on a piece of wood with his knife, he wasn't even making anything just cutting it to a point.

Buck growled as he threw the sharpened stick as hard as he could away from him. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to scream and yell to the spirits. He wanted to curse Red Bear for his prophecy. He had known. He had warned them. But it had not prepared him for the pain he was feeling and he would have to go through this again, that's what Red Bear had said. Lou would lose two children before she gave birth to twins. Buck slammed his head back against the wall, tears streaming down his face.

"Buck, honey you in here?" Emma's voice called from the barn door.

Buck contemplated just sitting there quietly and letting Emma walk away but he found himself calling out to her, "I'm here."

Emma walked into the barn and headed towards where she heard Buck's voice. She found him looking more lost than she had ever seen him. Emma lowered herself down next to Buck and put her arm around him, letting him lay his head against her bosom as he cried. "I know … I know how it hurts. I remember the pain. I remember wanting to scream and shout at God for taking my baby from me. The pain never truly goes away, but it will get better, Buck."

"It's my fault Emma. Lou wouldn't have lost the baby if I hadn't had her help me with Kathleen." Buck whispered brokenly.

"No honey, it's not your fault. You and I both know you couldn't have stopped Lou from dealing with that woman. You didn't know she was pregnant and Lou didn't know, if she did, she wouldn't have gotten into that fight." Emma told him, rubbing his back as he cried against her.

"If I had never gotten involved with that woman in the first place, this wouldn't have happened. If I had listened to the doctor and waited to have relations with Lou like we were supposed to, she wouldn't have been pregnant in the first place." Buck argued.

"Buck, now you listen to me. The what ifs will drive you crazy. What happened is horrible, it's life changing, but it happened. It can't change and thinking about all the things you could have done different won't help. What will help is sticking together, loving each other, being there for each other. You both are hurting, you both are going through a terrible loss. Don't push each other away, cling to each other, and you will come out stronger." Emma scolded Buck gently.

"I don't know if I can go through this again, Emma. Red Bear said Lou would lose two babies … this hurts so bad. I don't know if I can do it again." Buck whispered, his voice hoarse from his tears.

"Honey, I know it hurts. I know you're scared. But sweetie, if you don't try to move forward, you'll never have those babies he saw too. Don't focus on the loses, focus on the life you created. What you two share is so special and the baby you created is evidence of that. Focus on the love." Emma encouraged him.

Buck sat up and wiped his face off and smiled sadly at Emma, "Thank you Emma, you're right. It hurts, it will always hurt, but you're right. I love Lou more than anything and we made a baby together. I need to go talk to Lou. She blames me, I need to make things right."

"She's down by the creek and she doesn't blame you, she blames herself." Emma told him.

Buck stood and offered Emma his hand to help her up. Emma embraced Buck and kissed him on the cheek. "It will get better sweetheart, and if you or Lou need to talk, I'm here. I'll always be here for you two."

He let go of Emma and walked away to find Lou. Buck made his way to the creek and found Lou sitting on a large flat rock at the water's edge. Her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them and her head on her arms. Lou's shoulders were shaking with silent sobs. Buck made his way over to her and joined her on the rock, without her ever looking up at him. He sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. Lou lifted her head and moved to lay it on his chest as he held her close, Lou's sobs shaking her small frame.

"I know, honey, I know. I'm so sorry." Buck whispered, his own tears streaming down his face.

"It's my fault… I wanted to beat that woman … I didn't know Buck … you have to believe me I didn't know I was pregnant… I didn't know I could get pregnant that soon." Lou cried against his chest.

"No Lou, it's not your fault. I know you didn't know, neither of us did. I never would have allowed you to fight her and you would never have fought her if you knew. Neither of us knew you were pregnant, that you could get pregnant that soon after having Rider. I blamed myself… I thought you blamed me too." Buck told her, rubbing her back in much the same way Emma had rubbed his.

"I never blamed you Buck… Red Bear warned us. We have to go through this once more …. I don't know if I can do this again." Lou said brokenly.

"I know … I had the same thoughts. But Emma told me something that I'm going to tell you. I love you and the love we share created a life. We made a baby together … we need to focus on that. Our love for each other created a child. And we will create more. Yes we will lose another according to Red Bear but we will get through it together. We can handle anything as long as we are together. I'm here for you, always have been, always will be. We will get through this pain together. And Emma will be here too, if you need to talk to someone who knows what you are feeling that isn't me." Buck told her.

Lou looked up at Buck, her face wet with tears to see Buck's equally as wet. "I've been pushing you away … but you're hurting as much as I am. I'm sorry. I love you Buck. I'll get through this … we'll get through this."

Buck reached his hand to Lou's face and brushed the tears away with his thumbs before leaning forward and kissing her gently. Lou closed her eyes as their lips touched. She had never felt more loved and cherished even in the midst of her pain, she knew things would be alright eventually. Buck would be there for her, he was always there for her. And she would be there for him too. Together.

"Come on let's go home, honey." Buck said standing offering his hand to Lou.

Lou took it and was pulled to her feet and into Buck's arms. He held her tightly to his chest, holding her together and she held him just as tightly. Together hand in hand they returned to their home and to the rest of their family. Yes, it hurt, yes, it would always hurt. Yes they would have to go through this again, but they would survive, they had each other. And they had a family that loved them and would help them through it. They would always be there for each other.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. Thank you everybody for the kind reviews. This story is rapidly coming to a close, the next chapter is most likely the last. There is a sequel planned, that will be set some years down the road. This chapter was very hard to write, I hope I did it justice. **


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

It had been six months since Lou had lost the baby. Six months since Buck's world had been turned upside down. Six months since they had had intimate relations. Rider was a year old and they were planning a party to celebrate, but Buck wasn't feeling like celebrating. He was feeling antsy, like his own skin didn't fit him right. He wanted to make love to his wife, but he was scared. They both were. He knew what Red Bear had said, that Lou would lose two babies before she would give birth again. He knew they had to go through it again but he wasn't ready for the heartache. He was still dealing with the pain from the last, how could he do it again so soon. True there was no guarantee that Lou would get pregnant quickly but Buck was still scared.

Buck had gone into town to pick up some supplies Rachel needed for the party, as he was coming out of Tompkins store, Sam caught up with him.

"Howdy Buck." Sam said tipping his hat at an older woman whom Buck was holding the door open for.

"Sam" Buck replied nodding his chin toward the marshal.

"Come over to my office, Buck. I want a word with you." Sam told him as Buck put his things in the back of the buckboard.

"Is everything alright?" Buck asked, his eyebrows rising in concern.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just want to talk to you 'bout something is all." Sam told him scratching his chin.

"Alright Sam" Buck said as he covered up his supplies with a blanket and then followed Sam to the Marshal's office.

Sam allowed Buck to enter first closing and locking the door behind him. Buck spun at the sound of the lock catching, his eyes going wide. "I thought you said everything was alright Sam." Buck questioned.

Sam chucked, relaxing Buck a little. "I just wanted to talk and it's personal. So didn't want just anybody walking in is all. Have a seat Buck." Sam said gesturing towards the seat in front of his desk.

Buck took his hat off and hooked it over his knee after he took the offered seat. Sam came over and surprised Buck by taking the seat beside him instead of the one behind the desk. Sam lit his cigar, offering one to Buck, who declined. He leaned back in his chair, blowing a puff of smoke out of his mouth as he crossed his foot over his knee. "Buck you know Emma had a miscarriage before right?"

"Yeah she had told us about it, it was why her first husband disappeared." Buck replied, his brows drawing in confusion, of course they knew this why did Sam bring it up.

"That's true but did you know, she had had one a few months after we had gotten married?" Sam asked, blowing another puff of smoke out of his mouth.

Buck looked up at Sam in surprise. "No, we never knew she had gotten pregnant before this time."

"I didn't figure, she had told y'all. We didn't even know she was pregnant before the miscarriage." Sam told him.

"Like me and Lou." Buck said, his voice breaking slightly.

"Yeah it's why I know what you're thinking. After Emma lost the baby... I was scared to touch her. I didn't think I could go through the pain again. And I know what Red Bear told y'all, so I know you think it will happen again. But son, don't let fear stop you from living your life and loving Lou." Sam said, the corner of his mouth hitching up at Buck's startled expression.

"Sam... I..." Buck stammered, his face turning red as he realized Sam knew that he and Lou were not intimate.

"Don't try to tell me you're not scared. I can see it. I've been there. You are so tense I'm surprised you haven't snapped in half. You're snapping at everybody around you. You feel like your skin is too small for you." Sam pointed out.

"Uh … yeah." Buck admitted sheepishly.

"I've been there." Sam told him leaning forward to meet Buck's eyes.

"How did you get over it?" Buck asked, his shoulders sagging in defeat at the admission of his fear.

"I made love to my wife." Sam stated grinning.

"But how did you get over being scared?" Buck asked.

"I didn't, I was terrified every time we were together. I was terrified when we found out Emma was expecting. And I was terrified up until that little girl was born and let out her first cry. But Buck it was worth it. Holding that baby girl in my arms was worth every second of the fear and worry and pain." Sam admitted, his own eyes getting a little misty.

Buck sat there looking at the man beside him. Sam did know what he was going through. He did know the pain and fear Buck was holding onto. "Thanks Sam... I need to go have a … talk… with my wife." Buck said standing, a lopsided smirk appearing on his face.

"Don't take too long with that … talk. You know the party is this evening." Sam said laughing as Buck unlocked the door and left his office. Sam felt pretty good about his talk with Buck and hoped it had really helped him.

Buck rode back into the yard, setting the break on the buckboard, as Lou came out to greet him a soft sad smile on her face. It had been too long since Buck had seen a real smile on her lips. He climbed down from the seat and strode over to his wife, he slipped his arm around behind her back and pulled her close, kissing her soundly. Lou whimpered against his mouth, her arms going around his neck, pulling herself closer to him, her body molding against his. Buck's free hand went into Lou's hair, pulling the pins out, letting the now long locks fall down her back, his fingers entwining in the dark tresses, his tongue gaining entrance to her mouth. Lou's own tongue teasingly touching his back. Buck moaned, he could feel himself already straining against the confines of his pants and all they were doing was kissing, on the porch. He needed to get control of himself. Anybody could see them. "Eww… get a room." Jeremiah called out at that exact moment as he stepped up onto the porch from the side of the house.

Buck and Lou broke away, their faces flushing in embarrassment, chuckling slightly. Jeremiah just rolled his eyes and grinned as he walked past them into the house. Buck took Lou by the hand and led her into the barn and up into the hayloft.

"What are we doing Buck?" Lou asked, "Anybody could walk in here at any moment."

Buck just grinned as he pulled her back into his arms and started kissing her again. His fingers working at the buttons on her dress. "Buck … we can't. Someone might see." Lou whispered against his lips.

"Let them … we're married… and I miss my wife." Buck said in between kisses. Lou's dress dropped to the floor of the hayloft, leaving Lou in her corset and undergarments. Lou's own hand's pushed Buck's vest from his shoulders before going to the buttons of his shirt as he began loosing the laces of her corset.

"What if one of the children come in?" Lou whispered, as Buck trailed kisses down her neck.

"I'm pretty sure Jeremiah will keep Teresa in the house." Buck snickered, his lips nibbling at her earlobe, as his shirt joined her dress on the floor.

"We really shouldn't … I should be helping Rachel with the party." Lou argued, as Buck got her corset off, and her fingers went to the ties of his pants.

"We've plenty of time." Buck reasoned as he lowered her to the hay, his hands lifting her petticoat up, hers pushing his pants down freeing him.

Lou had no more arguments as Buck lined himself up with her entrance and slowly pushed into her. Lou moaned low in the back of her throat. "God, Buck …"

Buck groaned as he was enveloped in Lou's heat, settling himself deeply into her core. He felt like he was coming home. "Hell … it's been too long."

Lou lifted her leg up and hitched it around Buck's hips, holding him tightly inside as he began moving. At first softly and slowly, but gradually increasing in speed and strength until they were both panting in pleasure. Buck could not hold on any longer. "I can't last love." Buck whispered against Lou's neck.

Lou felt him tensing up as his hot seed filled her womb, her walls clenched around him in her own release. "Buck...oh Buck." Lou moaned out.

They both laid there panting, Buck rolling to his back and pulling her against his side. He held her close, his eyes closed, his heart pounding in his chest. "What was that?" Lou whispered, her head resting on Buck's chest.

Buck ran his hand over Lou's arms, "I missed you."

Lou sighed and pulled away sitting up and grabbing her corset to start to put it back on, her back to Buck. Buck sat up and pulled his pants back up. He reached out and put his hands, on Lou's shoulders, kissing her neck where it joined them. Lou sniffled. "Honey … are you crying?" Buck asked turning her to face him.

Lou looked at him, his heart breaking at the tears in her eyes. "Talk to me sweetheart… what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No … it's not that… Do you still love me Buck?" Lou asked, her voice quivering.

"What kinda question is that. Of course I love you!" Buck swore, alarm in his voice.

"You haven't touched me in months, not since the miscarriage, until today. Why?" Lou asked.

"Honey, I'm so sorry that I ever made you doubt how I feel about you. And as to your question … I was scared. I'm still scared." Buck explained.

"Then why?" Lou interrupted.

"Let's just say, Sam gave me a swift kick in the pants. Made me realized what an idiot I've been." Buck told her brushing her hair back out of her face.

"I'm scared too Buck… but I don't want that to stop us from being together like this. I need you too much." Lou told him.

"I promise, honey, I'll do better. And if you feel like I'm neglecting you ever again just tell me. I need you too." Buck said as he kissed her deeply.

The two lovers helped each other dressed and went to rejoin their family to prepare to celebrate the life of their son. Knowing that they would make things work between them.

**Epilogue**

Buck stood on the porch of the home he shared with his beautiful wife Lou. Teaspoon, Sam, and Cody, who had come home for a visit, stood with him, nobody talking much. Jeremiah and Teresa had Rider, who was now four, and little Loulabelle, Sam and Emma's daughter, at the corral watching the horses. While upstairs in the room Buck shared with his wife, Rachel and Emma, helped Lou as she gave birth.

Buck had been terrified the entire pregnancy. He kept thinking any day, they would lose the babe growing in Lou's womb but she never did. He didn't understand it. Red Bear had sworn that Lou would lose two babies before she gave birth to two. But Lou had only had one miscarriage. He waited with baited breath for Lou to give birth. What if the child was stillborn? That would being losing another child. Is that what Red Bear had meant?

He paced up and down the porch. "Maybe Red Bear was wrong?" Teaspoon offered.

"Red Bear is never wrong." Buck whispered, his voice breaking.

"Maybe Lou was pregnant with twins when she had that miscarriage?" Cody offered just as a cry filled the air.

Buck was on instant alert, waiting for Rachel or Emma to come tell him he could go in. But he waited and waited. His fear growing and growing. "Something is wrong… it's taking to long." Buck worried.

Then another cry filled the air. Buck looked at the other men gathered around the porch, each showering the same questioning look. Emma came out just then a huge smile on her face. "Come inside Buck and meet your children."

"Children?" Buck asked, his eyebrows shooting up in shock.

"You've got twins Buck, a boy and a girl." Emma told him ushering him inside and up to his bedroom where Lou laid exhausted with a bright smile on her face.

Buck walked over and sat on the side of the bed next to her and looked at the little bundles in her arms. He reached over and took one from her. "Red Bear was right about one thing … you did have two at once."

"He was right about both … I think." Lou said with a little shrug.

Buck looked at her confused. "What do you mean?"

"A couple of years ago, I thought I might be pregnant but then I got my monthly. It was heavier than normal but not painful so I didn't think anything of it. Maybe I had been pregnant then." Lou explained.

"Maybe … what shall we name them?" Buck asked.

Lou looked at the little bundle in her arms, "I think we should call this little guy Isaac, Ike for short. What do you think?"

"I think Ike would have liked that as much as I do. And this little darling, what do you think of the name Hope?" Buck asked looking over at his wife.

"Hope … I like it." Lou replied.

Buck leaned forward and kissed Lou softly, a knock at the door breaking them apart. He looked over and saw Rachel standing there smiling. "Is it alright if the rest of the family comes in to meet it's newest members?"

At Lou's nod, Rachel moved aside and let them all trickle in. The room was soon filled with a symphony of oohs and aahs. And lots of baby kisses. Buck sat on the bed holding his wife, looking around at his family. They were truly blessed. Little Rider came over and climbed into the bed with Buck and Lou, as Rachel laid his little sister into his chubby little arms. Rider's blue eyes meet the soft brown eyes of Hope's, a smile on his face as he looked at her and then over at the little brother his mother was holding, Ike's eyes just as brown as that of his sisters.

"I wuv you." Rider said in child like innocence pressing a kiss to the top of both their heads. Buck and Lou sharing a kiss over Rider's head. The picture of a perfect little family.

**A/N: Thanks Shauna for the beta. Well that's the end, I hope everybody enjoyed the story and I'm sorry for the long delay between this and the last chapter. With everything going on in the world right now, I've not had the time, energy, or mindset to write the past few weeks. I know there are many people who are out of jobs right now, and I'm blessed to have one. But it is stressful knowing that because of my job in a medical field I may infect my children. So yeah, I've been stressing and worried. But I want to get back to writing as it is one of the few things that helps me cope with many things. There is a sequel planned for this story that will take place about 6 years or so in the future. I hope everybody will click the follow author button so you don't miss it when I upload the first chapter. As always thank you to everybody who has liked, favorited, and reviewed this story. I look forward to hearing from y'all soon. Rosie.**


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